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Original poster

To want to faint in McDonalds?

470 replies

TheLowestFlyer · 12/04/2021 12:18

DH has slowly introduced a regime of positive reinforcement that, for a wide range of reasons, means I have to take the DC to McDonalds once a month for a sit down meal. This produces a physical response in me that makes me want to, first, gag and then faint. I assume it must be the vaporised oil in the air, the terrible food odours and weird and discoloured plastic decor (and the hyperactive and frankly unappealing toddlers screaming around whenever we go?). Whatever it is, it triggers a really intense response from me and I basically dread these scheduled outings and have to choke back vomiting for the whole meal.

Unfortunately the DC have become really emotionally invested in these going to MacDonalds (to what I think is a really unhealthy level) and DH's schedule means that I am unquestionably the only one who can take then. How do I extricate myself from going to McDonalds? Has anyone else weaned their DC from depending fast food? They genuinely love it, especially the earth-killing toys they abandon minutes after leaving Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLowestFlyer · 13/04/2021 12:26

@JackieTheFart

1. Get a grip of yourself
  1. Tell your husband if he imposes a regime then he is responsible for carrying it out
  2. Choose a different fast food place where you don’t have histrionics.
The only histrionics seem to be in the replies here Confused My DH is controlling and abusive?

He started taking the 2 DC to McDonalds whenever it was on leave as a reward for behaving in ways he thought appropriate (grades, various social niceties, awards, etc). This was irregular, but after I've taken them a few times after school they've come to expect it. I'm not happy with the situation but we have an autonomous parenting philosophy, and often make these kinds of decisions independently. That's just how we go. Anyway, he can't take them during the week, and simply refuses to do it on the weekend. I'm obviously not going to leave him over this, so that leaves getting the DC to give it up/switch over to another less gag-inducing poison.

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 13/04/2021 12:29

Surely HE can take them?

Justilou1 · 13/04/2021 12:30

If it’s his decision, he can take them. It’s not 1950, ffs!

Bluesheep8 · 13/04/2021 12:43

Anyway, he can't take them during the week, and simply refuses to do it on the weekend.

Simply refuses? It was his idea to start doing it.

Sparklfairy · 13/04/2021 12:47

Anyway, he can't take them during the week, and simply refuses to do it on the weekend.

If it makes you feel as unwell as you say, 'simply refuse' yourself. You don't have to be the one always making sacrifices and compromises you know.

gamerchick · 13/04/2021 12:49

Then simply refuse to do it yourself OP. Just stop.

Ellpellwood · 13/04/2021 12:52

Well how about you "autonomously" decide you're not doing it and if he wants them to go he'll have to take them.

1Morewineplease · 13/04/2021 12:58

Oh my... this gets worse.

So he flatly refuses to do it?!

I'd end this method of parenting, it doesn't seem to be working.

pinkyredrose · 13/04/2021 13:00

Well it's your turn to refuse. I'm really against using food as a reward system, it can cause all kinds of problems.

lockdownalli · 13/04/2021 13:00

@Sparklfairy

Anyway, he can't take them during the week, and simply refuses to do it on the weekend.

If it makes you feel as unwell as you say, 'simply refuse' yourself. You don't have to be the one always making sacrifices and compromises you know.

I agree with this.

OP there's so much wrong with the situation you have described, I don't think posters know where to start.....

I will try by asking "What would happen if you said no?"

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 13/04/2021 13:01

Nothing very autonomous about making a decision that he’s not around to implement.

LagunaBubbles · 13/04/2021 13:02

Well if he refuses surely you can to? Job done.

HarrietHardy · 13/04/2021 13:03

Serious reply, @TheLowestFlyer, if I were in your shoes I'd sit the children down, and explain that you actually really, really don't like going to McDonald's and the smell and lights and noise make you feel poorly, so you're not able to go any more.

What are they going to do? Whine? Cry? Then you parent that response.

They sound old enough to understand they are not the only egos on the planet.

Then you present the Happy Compromise!

You could make burgers and fries at home! You could make a McMuffin at home! You could get a drive through and eat it outside of the car as a picnic!

You need to come up with right Happy Compromise offer for your children and stick to it, or you'll just keep doing the same old same old, and being pissed off, for fear of your children's reactions.

Which is odd considering the McD visits are supposed to reward good behaviour - not set up entitled moaning and groaning (or worse?).

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 13/04/2021 13:05

So... you just tell your children “no” and find a new treat instead??

Jeez Louise. Be the parent

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/04/2021 13:07

Then you present the Happy Compromise!

You could make burgers and fries at home! You could make a McMuffin at home!

Mum? Is that you? That bullshit didn't work on us in the 1980s, and it definitely won't work now.

RampantIvy · 13/04/2021 13:10

that leaves getting the DC to give it up/switch over to another less gag-inducing poison.

Why such a hysterical over reaction to a burger chain?

Are you a militant vegan?

picklewick · 13/04/2021 13:12

Only on MumsNet can an overreaction to McDonald's (a very extreme one at that) end in a controlling husband Grin

Sparkletastic · 13/04/2021 13:14

3 options:

  1. You 'flat refuse' and DH does it at weekends
  2. Go to a branch where you can sit outside
  3. Tell DC to pick a new treat from x date onwards.
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/04/2021 13:16

@TheLowestFlyer - then maybe try an icecream shop instead?
Or stop using food as a reward, which would be preferable!

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 13/04/2021 13:19

Autonomous parenting philosophy Grin

Workinghardeveryday · 13/04/2021 13:21

Just tell the kids you’re not going, the smell makes you feel sick but you can have xyz instead.

If the whinge tell them to ask daddy at the weekend and you don’t want to hear anymore about it.
End of.

Ohnomoreno · 13/04/2021 13:22

Why not do pizza hut instead then? Or the red rooster place they had when I was little, don't know if they still do. Or just make your DH go at weekends. Or wait outside and tell the staff they're your kids.

nancywhitehead · 13/04/2021 13:24

Just don't take them. Break the habit and they will forget about it.

I only have my own experience but I truly believe that introducing children to McDonald's as a reward is quite dangerous... I used to go as a treat when I was a child, and I now have a very harmful relationship with McDonald's due to an association I made as a child. It's so bad that I now simply try to avoid it completely or I get hooked.

Just stop taking them and break the cycle whilst they are young.

FishyFriday · 13/04/2021 13:31

How can an autonomous parenting philosophy work in a shared house and intact family? You're never autonomous as parents. Whatever you decide will affect the rest of the house.

And it's clearly not autonomous if you're having to do the things your husband chooses.

Do you think it just makes it sound well thought through and purposeful rather than admitting that actually, yes, your husband thinks he's in charge.

TrialOfStyle · 13/04/2021 13:35

Is it just MacDonald’s? Would Burger King, Five Guys, other burger joint cause you faint too?

Switch it up and suggest DH takes them to McDonalds but you’ll do some other fast food suggestions.

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