To want to faint in McDonalds?

[TheLowestFlyer]

DH has slowly introduced a regime of positive reinforcement that, for a wide range of reasons, means I have to take the DC to McDonalds once a month for a sit down meal. This produces a physical response in me that makes me want to, first, gag and then faint. I assume it must be the vaporised oil in the air, the terrible food odours and weird and discoloured plastic decor (and the hyperactive and frankly unappealing toddlers screaming around whenever we go?). Whatever it is, it triggers a really intense response from me and I basically dread these scheduled outings and have to choke back vomiting for the whole meal.

Unfortunately the DC have become really emotionally invested in these going to MacDonalds (to what I think is a really unhealthy level) and DH's schedule means that I am unquestionably the only one who can take then. How do I extricate myself from going to McDonalds? Has anyone else weaned their DC from depending fast food? They genuinely love it, especially the earth-killing toys they abandon minutes after leaving

[BRB2021]

I know! Shocked wasnt the word! (well, it was actually)

[ALongHardWinter]

Are you in the UK? We haven't been able to have a 'sit down meal' in McDonalds since March last year!

[dementedpixie]

OP said she was in Australia earlier

[HoppingPavlova]

it's utterly bizarre, why would anyone would sacrifice their own mental well being to accommodate everyone else's needs.

If you read between the lines in the OPs messages there are much deeper issues than the McD’s aspect and I would lay good money on the fact that their issues also aren’t great for the mental health of their family and likely doesn’t facilitate a ‘normal’ environment for the DH and kids. It’s one of those cases where it would be really interesting to hear the story from the perspective of the kids and the DH in the context of their family life.

[BlueDahlia69]

@HoppingPavlova

it's utterly bizarre, why would anyone would sacrifice their own mental well being to accommodate everyone else's needs.

If you read between the lines in the OPs messages there are much deeper issues than the McD’s aspect and I would lay good money on the fact that their issues also aren’t great for the mental health of their family and likely doesn’t facilitate a ‘normal’ environment for the DH and kids. It’s one of those cases where it would be really interesting to hear the story from the perspective of the kids and the DH in the context of their family life.

yes I have too agree

[Justilou1]

"I can't just not take them any more - it would be absolutely crushing as they've become so dependent on it and they would see me as the villain. Framing your partner as the enemy isn't part of the Autonomous Parenting strategy, and I'm not sure they would blame him even if I explained the situation to them."

Autonomous Parenting = Being too pissweak to acknowledge that you are raising children with a psychopath (future psychopaths) and can’t say no to something that you recognize is bad for their health, creates an emotional/habitual pattern that utterly negates the rest of your own parenting manifesto - and you’re also admitting that you’re fostering OCD and addiction at the same time. Smart. Might take it up and see where it leads.

[BlueDahlia69]

Autonomous Parenting = Being too pissweak to acknowledge that you are raising children with a psychopath (future psychopaths) and can’t say no to something that you recognize is bad for their health, creates an emotional/habitual pattern that utterly negates the rest of your own parenting manifesto - and you’re also admitting that you’re fostering OCD and addiction at the same time. Smart. Might take it up and see where it leads.

thank goodness someone explained this to me, because I was struggling to see the 'positives' in this technique. 🤣

[Justilou1]

You’re very welcome!

[arcof]

OP seeing as you're so up on parenting styles you really should know that rewarding things that are really basic expectations like concentrating at school and being polite by giving them things is pretty passé and is appealing to their extrinsic motivation and not their intrinsic ones as you would want.

But have you explained yet why your DH refuses to take them? And if he refuses and doesn't feel bad about it why do you?!

[BlueDahlia69]

@Justilou1

You’re very welcome!

🤣😂

[Ritasueandbobtoo9]

So I looked up “autonomous parenting” and it seems to be about allowing children to make positive choices etc and clearly states it is NOT about allowing children to just do what they want.

So carry on if you want them to walk all over you for the rest of all your lives but in my opinion they need to learn about choosing places that everyone wants to go rather than being slaves to the yellow arches.

[Socksey]

@DustOnTheWind

How do you feel about The Sistine Chapel?

Love it.... sorry OP

[TyrantosaurusRex]

@DustOnTheWind

How do you feel about The Sistine Chapel?

😂

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Stop telling the OP to go to Burger King instead. She’s in Australia where Burger King is actually called Hungry Jacks.

Yes, yes it is. You’re welcome, Poms, for that piece of local knowledge.

[RHTawneyonabus]

Dude you are an adult. you agree on how to manage your kids together. If your DH wants the kids taken to MDs then tell him he does it himself or they don’t go.

[Quartz2208]

I don’t think they are following autonomous parenting strategy I looked it up and it actually is a fairly decent idea built around the idea of allowing your children to be involved the choices to avoid over parenting, being too strict or spoiling them

The choice the OP is making doesn’t fall within it at all indeed it goes against the whole ethos

I think the OP is saying that her and her partner are allowed to make autonomous parenting decisions. So can act unilaterally if they decide without consulting the other parent. So her DH has decreed this should happen because he feels rewarding them and positive reinforcement is a good thing

But has then left the implementation to her and has built it up so the kids expect it.

She has a DH issue

[GoToSleepBabyPlease]

@ElphabaTheGreen

Stop telling the OP to go to Burger King instead. She’s in Australia where Burger King is actually called Hungry Jacks.

Yes, yes it is. You’re welcome, Poms, for that piece of local knowledge.

Hungry Jacks is an amazing name for a burger place! Far better than Burger King!

OP, go to Hungry Jacks!

[Chloemol]

Just don’t go and if he wants them to have one he takes them

I don’t see the issue

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Just to blow the minds further - logo, menu, everything is the same except the name:

www.hungryjacks.com.au

[DoingItMyself]

DH has slowly introduced a regime of positive reinforcement
Fuck that. Where was your say in it?

And if he wants the children to go to McDonalds, he can take them.