AIBU to form an overnight childcare bubble?

[mummy2b2011]

Hello,
Wondering what people’s thoughts are on this. We are a home educating family with 2 children. We live 5 hours from family and have kept to all guidance over the past year. We haven’t seen family or had any help with the children since September last year. I’m considering visiting my in laws for 10 days (5 hours away) to form a childcare bubble with them. Husband mostly wfh. He’d come with us and work from there. Younger child has (undiagnosed) SEN & life is feeling extremely difficult atm. Husband is fully vaccinated, MIL is partially, FIL not at all (his choice). I’m not. We have a batch of covid tests, so could test before we go/whilst we’re there. I don’t think the guidance is very detailed regarding this specific scenario, though I do know overnight stays in general won’t be allowed until towards the end of May.
AIBU to consider this?

I’m not sure it’s really counted as a childcare bubble if you’re staying too. It’s probably against ‘the rules’ or ‘the guidelines’ (can anyone keep track of what is what anymore?) but I’d probably do it. If you don’t have another bubble, I don’t see the harm tbh. You can effectively just become one household.

Just do it!

I would just do it

YANBU, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Isolating for a week before you go might be sensible.

Childcare bubbles are for handing a child over at the door for childcare.

You are suggesting more like emotional support.

My understanding of childcare bubbles is that they allow children to mix with those providing childcare, but not the adults. So your kids could potentially stay overnight but not you and your DH.

There may be special arrangements for families with disabled children, I'm not sure. Not sure if you would be covered by these without a diagnosis, but if you are currently pursuing one, you might be.

Alternatively, you could just break the rules if you are really struggling. I wouldn't, personally, but lots of people do.

Childcare bubble only involves the children not the parents.

I would totally do it, if I were you. I don’t doubt that this sort of thing has been going on a lot.

You are specifically forbidden to socialise within childcare bubbles, you could take the children and come home again for a break while your in laws look after them

It’s not allowed for a childcare bubble as the adults aren’t allowed to interact or stay over. I would do it anyway however.

You need to decide what’s right and reasonable for your family.
Finding life hard and wanting a break, vs being on your knees and not coping, for example.
But I don’t think you should try to justify this in your own mind as a childcare bubble, when it isn’t.

Can you husband not take some time off work, to support your need for a break?

Even though it’s your FIL’s choice not to be vaccinated, I would choose to mix households with one non vaccinated and one incomplete vaccination person, who are both in a higher risk age group.

So it would be a no from me, for now. Especially as light does seem to be at the end of the tunnel.

@TeenMinusTests

Childcare bubbles are for handing a child over at the door for childcare.

You are suggesting more like emotional support.

Not in every situation. My mum came into my house to homeschool the kids whilst I wfh

Childcare bubble can't be for socialising. Do you meet criteria for a support bubble?

I’ve given up trying to understand “the rules”, sounds like neither of you are seeing anyone else? I’d just do it.

I'd do it without a second thought. You need help, they can provide it. Presumably all the adults are aware of the risk and willing to take it.

I was fully supportive of lockdown but now we're in the rules don't make any sense phase so I'd be in the car already.

As PPs have pointed out it’s not within the rules / guidelines, however if you’re really struggling and are able to isolate for a week or so before going then I think it’s understandable. Could you hang on until the 17th May when the rules change and it’s allowed?

The guidance doesn't deal with this scenario because you're looking for an exemption/exception that doesn't exist.

In your situation you cannot stay overnight under the rules.

Whether you do or not is up to you, of course, but if you have followed the rules so far you may not want to break them now.

But childcare bubbles and support bubbles can't help you, I don't think. Overnight stays are not permitted.

You can move house though

The guidance is clear you as adults can’t stay overnight so your children have childcare until most likely May 17th.
I do find it odd that parents of under ones can have support bubbles but those with disabled children cannot but it’s only a few more weeks.
We are shielding , home educating with four disabled children, it’s challenging at times but there will be an end to it soon.

I have been told by several mental health charities that if i or my children needed emotional support during lockdown we were to travel to either my mums or my inlaws over night if I needed to.

@ToffeePennie being so mentally unwell that you cannot cope without support is a very different situation and allowed under “supporting a vulnerable person. It’s to prevent a mental health crisis.

And surely that’s what would be happening here? It sounds like mum is at breaking point?

@ToffeePennie

And surely that’s what would be happening here? It sounds like mum is at breaking point?

I think the issue is that she has a husband for support already. So not a single parent household.

It is all a bit murky and it does absolutely go against the grain to advise someone NOT to seek support from their family but what the OP is proposing I think is not allowed under the rules as they stand.

@ToffeePennie it doesn’t read like that at at . I am in a similar situation as I said, life is very difficult but I am not on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Finding an extreme life situation very difficult is not the same as being severally mentally unwell. It would be very unusual not to find the op’s situation very difficult.

I would do it but I wouldn’t try to justify it by calling it a bubble. But yanbu otherwise