AIBU to ask what has been your most spectacular wardrobe malfunction?

[violetbunny]

So I got to work today and realised I completely forgot to put a bra on this morning...!

Luckily I'm not particularly large of chest and was wearing a dress that billowed out at the top, so I don't think anyone noticed. But it's certainly not my worst wardrobe malfunction - that would be the time I wore 2 totally different knee length boots to work (one with a stiletto, the other with a block heel - of course no one said anything until our team meeting, then cue lots of laughter at my amusing choice of footwear...!)

So AIBU to ask, what has been your worst fashion mistake or malfunction?

@ItsNotLoveActually

Got in the lift at work. It was one of those mirrored ones and immediately noticed my jumper was back to front. I quickly pull my arms in so I can twirl it round when the lift doors open and my boss and a VIP step in. I'm standing there with no arms in my sleeves like a nutter!

This really made me laugh 😂

Not quite a wardrobe malfunction but I had to do a patch test for a hair appointment. The salon gave me something similar to a temporary tattoo with instructions that it had to be completed so many days/hour prior to the appointment. I was sat at work one day when it suddenly dawned on me that I’d forgotten and it needed to be done immediately for me to make the appointment. I ended up in the bathroom of my very uptight professional office essentially putting a temporary tattoo on my arm when someone came in and caught me. I tried explaining but I’m pretty sure they just thought I was some crazy 30-something women who wears fake tattoos to work

In my late teens working in a busy public facing job and a panty liner inched down my sleeve and crawled onto the counter whilst serving customers. It wasn't used thank god!

Wearing a tshirt inside out and back to front whilst visiting a country home. I hid behind a bush and sorted it out when I realised.

Going to get a new gas bottle for my bbq and not understanding why the guy serving me was acting so strangely. He kept stuttering and wouldn't look me in the eye. Got back in the car and then realised that the top buttons on my top had pinged open and I was flashing my barely contained tits in a too small bra to all and sundry.

On a first date and feeling pretty good with how I looked, came strutting out of the toilets after texting my girlfriends that all was fine, bar was pretty packed with people sitting at tables, got back to the table that date and I were sitting at to find him snorting with laughter. He whispered across the table "Your dress is tucked in your very nice black knickers!"

I have so many more!!

This happened only a couple of weeks ago, the label for my top got caught in the side zip of my trousers, only three women work at my place and luckily one of them appeared, went off the find scissors to release me, I was desperate for a wee

My wedding dress ! DH stood on the back and the zip down the back tore open. My MIL sewed me into it using the little hotel sewing packs and DH had to cut me out in the evening

I also did a Judy Finnegan in my twenties when a dress strap broke at a posh dinner. Braless

Several years ago I was up at my horses livery yard when I was caught sort and needed a wee, had to go in the stable but unfortunately weed on my knickers which I hadnt pulled out of the way sufficiently.
Took them off, put them in the car with my trousers(I thought) and went out for a ride after changing into jods.
Got back to the yard on horseback to see a pair of knickers lying for all to see in the car park! No one said a word

@Bearnecessity

SexyGiraffe...I have no words....

ReluctantEarlyRiser....that is so funny...your poor teenage self...I experienced that but in the privacy of my own home....

I hated wedding dress shopping and ended up buying something off the rack that my DM customized for me. It had long sunray pleats and was very pretty but I'd only tried it on indoors. We got to my wedding venue and I popped to the bathroom and as I was checking myself in the mirror I noticed it was sheer and my pants were visible. At that point there was nothing I could do, so I just went with it. In certain lights indoors it was ok, but outside in the sunshine it was more noticeable. A few people commented including DH's grandfather who was a filthy old Scotsman- he thought it was the best thing ever! It didn't ruin the day - I was among friends and wearing nice pants! Makes a god story now though

@Bearnecessity my mother tells wedding dress was fairly sheer and she didn’t realise, you can see the blue hint of her garter in the photo’s.

Oops I meant to tag @SexyGiraffe

Arrrghhh sounds very racy Bashful...

Glad you were able to style it out..SexyGiraffe...and that it didn't spoil yer day....

In my 20s I was in the supermarket and kept being checked out by men. Being young and confident I just thought I must be looking especially pretty that day until I got home and realised my shirt was unbuttoned and I was displaying an impressive amount of cleavage.

Cupidity that is soooooo funny! Hope you are feeling o.k. about it now.

swam underwater in an old saggy swimsuit and emerged at the side. Looked down and my tits were hanging out as the water dragged down the front of my swimsuit.

Not really a wardrobe malfunction but worth sharing anyway. Back in the early 90s when body tops were all the rage I bought one which had no poppers. You just climbed into it. Anyway, one night I was out and 3 sheets to the wind. Went for a wee and tried to push it to the side, as you do (did). I misjudged this and unfortunately peed into my body suit. I could actually feel the warm wee reach the top of my foof it sort of inflated.
It kind of curtailed my evening. It looked like I had pissed myself which obviously I had but not through lack of control.
I actually shuddered when I saw body suits on sale again a few years ago but they didn't seem to hang around for long. Todays youngsters are probably more sensible.

@notagainmummy

swam underwater in an old saggy swimsuit and emerged at the side. Looked down and my tits were hanging out as the water dragged down the front of my swimsuit.

I had a similar incident when I used a tyre swing to jump into a pond. I went several feet underwater and the top failed as I came back up to the surface. There were several people about and I'm sure some of them noticed.

Some of these wardrobe failures are brilliant, so thanks to all for contributing them.

Nightclub early 00’s wearing one of those dreadful tops that were just a spangly butterfly fastened with two bits of string. The bit of string round my back snapped and being still tied round the neck sort of swung quite violently from side to side with the force of my dancing, revealing my bare breasts to half the dance floor!!

My friend fixed it in the toilet with an earring so we didn’t need to go home 😂.

By the ILs' pool with DH's whole family in a bikini, just as I was starting to gain weight. It was just a handful of us older ladies (his aunties), and one of them just said over the table to me "hey, pull yourself in!" I looked down and an ENTIRE nipple had just been hanging out enjoying the drinks and conversation! I do so love that she wasn't bashful about it and told me straight away.

My mum's, I think, is far more tame but much funnier. She is a teacher, year 7 or so. She wears reading glasses which she keeps on a chain round her neck, so when she takes off her glasses she sort of flicks them off her face and lets them fall.

Many many times, she has lost or forgotten that chain, and when she does, every time without fail, she simply chucks her specs on the floor in front of all her students!

I was in the bikini (and older one that had fit perfectly just months before!), not DH's whole family in one... lol

@theluckiest

I am a teacher (this is relevant).

Waiting with my class at pick-up time when there was a particularly strong gust of wind.

Quickly realised that wearing a lightweight and flippy skirt wasn't a very good idea. Luckily had tights on. Did a full Marilyn Monroe for just in time for all the parents who had begun to pour through the gate.

A very similar tale for me!

Walking across the university campus where I was teaching at the time. Large, busy campus. I'm carrying files, laptop etc, arms full.

Huge gust of wind lifts up my flimsy summer skirt. No tights as it was summer, supposedly. The bloody wind kept the skirt up there for many hours minutes.

I just had to keep walking. Walking & flashing.

@CorvusPurpureus

Attending a funeral when dd2 started crying, so took her & toddler dd1 out.

Was sitting on a bench bf'ing dd2 when - horribly - dd1 clocked the children's area of the cemetery, all colourful teddy bears & windmills, & set off towards it at speed.

So I ran after her, wailing dd2 clutched to my flapping bosom, tits akimbo, & brought her down with an impressive tackle just before she snatched a windmill off some poor deceased dc's grave.

It turned out that the crem had an enormous picture window looking out on to this area, so literally every IL in my life was treated to this spectacle.

The general consensus at the wake was that Uncle Fred would have been absolutely delighted to have a streaker at his funeral but still...

Love this! Brilliantly described!

was completely exposed, erect and a little hairy.

Betty I can't stop laughing at this!

@Marshasthorn

Not me but my partner

We were selling our home and so the estate agent lady came to have a look to price up.

We sat down on the sofa whilst we discussed improvements before we took pictures of the house.

My partner was sat opposite me and the estate agent was sat on a sofa inbetween us. Think U shape.

My partner has our kid on his lap, his legs as usual apart (that’s the way he sits, I’m assuming lots of people do right?) . After about five minutes I notice his boxers and a bit of his right ball on show. He had a massive hole in his pants.

I think though the lady only realised after I realised because that’s when her body language changed and she was being friendly but weird.

My partner continues to talk forever, he would not stop talking. He was being his usual confident self just chatting the fuck away.

She tried to end the meeting a few times and I encouraged this by telling her it was nice to meet her and we will be in touch but my partner kept asking her questions.

After the poor lady left I told him.

Those joggers went straight in the bin,

Oh another priceless one. Especially that he wouldn't stop talking!

The number of times I’ve emerged from the ocean with a great scrotum of sand in my bikini gusset swinging between my legs like a metronome...

I don't wear button up tops or shirts anymore as there's been so many malfunctions. I have learned that I need sturdier tops

@anxietyaunt

The number of times I’ve emerged from the ocean with a great scrotum of sand in my bikini gusset swinging between my legs like a metronome...

😂😂😂

Brilliant!