AIBU to ask what has been your most spectacular wardrobe malfunction?

[violetbunny]

So I got to work today and realised I completely forgot to put a bra on this morning...!

Luckily I'm not particularly large of chest and was wearing a dress that billowed out at the top, so I don't think anyone noticed. But it's certainly not my worst wardrobe malfunction - that would be the time I wore 2 totally different knee length boots to work (one with a stiletto, the other with a block heel - of course no one said anything until our team meeting, then cue lots of laughter at my amusing choice of footwear...!)

So AIBU to ask, what has been your worst fashion mistake or malfunction?

Am somewhat generously endowed. Many moons ago, when I was younger and (slightly) perter, I decided that wearing a satin basque as outerwear was a perfectly reasonable choice for a night at the pub. I was chatting away to group of rather lecherous men when one of the straps gave way. I will never forget watching 4 sets of eyes following the rapid descent of my left boob.

My scrub trousers once fell down while scrubbed in theatre (so not allowed to touch anything outside the sterile field). They had to be pulled up my a (thankfully female) theatre nurse

Went out on the town for my 16th birthday with my older friends. I'd been dress shopping and chosen a full length clingy halterneck in lilac, from a designer boutique, this was 1997 and it was £100.
I planned to wear a strapless bra with it, however when getting ready the only one I could find was a lacy one that looked really lumpy through the material.
Tried it without and thought it looked OK.
Worst mistake ever. I met my friends and they said I looked lovely, but I kept noticing people giving me odd looks, then I went to the loo and noticed that the bloody thing was almost see through and you could see my dark nipples clearly, it didn't look sexy or anything, just wrong, my poor boobs were never the best shape either and it really did look horrible, I don't know why I thought it was OK! To make things worse, once I noticed I was so self conscious, and as the night went on, drunk blokes kept shouting things like where's your bra!
Worst night out ever, I made excuses and went home early.

Sat on one end of a see saw in a playground, son on the other end. As my end went down and I pushed off the ground with my feet, my trousers split up the front, exposing my pants and the wings if the sanitary towel that was stuck inside them!

I have a few

I wore a blue top on holiday and danced by the beach literally all night long at a hotel in Cape Verde - got back to the hotel room and found I was BLUE!! I showered before bed and found I couldn't get the blue dye from my top off my upper half - and had to go to the swimming pool looking like smurfette! My BF who was with me called me smurfette then ... forever lol 😆

I once wore 1 blue and 1 black court shoe to work - I would t mind except 1 was a couple of inches higher heel than the other and I worked in London so couldn't pop home to change as it was a 45
Minute journey each way 😯

I also went out-out in London one night when it was never the own so had a jumper on - was trying to get away from this bloke trying to pull me in a club, went foe a tactical break to the loo and found my under wire from my bra was poking through my jumper!! ALL OF IT!! unfortunately it didn't put him off me ...

Visiting my boyfriend (now husband) at university. A friend of his had a tandem, so I had a go on it (luckily sitting behind his friend). It would be the day I was wearing a flimsy skirt and stockings with a suspender belt. One hand on the handlebars, one hand trying (in a futile manner) to prevent all and sundry getting an eyeful - apart from aforementioned friend, who carried on pedalling unawares...

I only have client meetings once in a blue moon. So, all properly dressed up in a dress with a side zip.

Said zip suddenly broke, 1 hour prior to the meeting.

Luckily a colleague had a sewing kit in her drawer, she sewed me in and nobody was any wiser. My husband couldn't stop laughing when he had to cut me out of it when I came home.

As a teen I went swimming with a group of friends. At the last minute I realised my swimming costume didn't fit so borrowed my mums old one. It was white with a flesh coloured lining and padding on the bust. Got in the pool - it's instantly see through, the flesh lining giving the impression that I'm completely naked.

Recently, running out the door on school run. Shoved my feet into the nearest pair of slip on shoes in the hall. Drove across town to school, got out the car, feet felt weird. Looked down and I'm wearing two completely different shoes. Had to walk DC from the car to school then stand for what felt like an eternity in the playground praying none of the other parents noticed.

Oh god.... so when I was about 17 I had gone out to a nightclub in a strapless dress. Absolutely pissed and dancing like a crazy thing then felt a breeze on the nipple area.
Yes the dress has slipped down and my Tits were swaying around to the music.

Aged 16 I had gone to a water park with my dad in my brand new pink bikini. Didn't have much money so it was a very cheap one. Got in the pool and it went completely see through. Had to get out with my dad walking in front of me, get changed and watch everyone else have fun from the cafe.

@Cupidity

When ds was 3 weeks old I was very sleep deprived. However, I managed to get us all up in the morning, drop 3 year old dd off at nursery on time (had a quick chat with the staff) , whizzed round the supermarket with newborn ds, popped into the hospital for a blood test (and had nice chat with the phlebotomist). Sat on a bench outside and breastfed ds quickly and arrived home all by 10.00am.

When I got home I felt so accomplished. I'd successfully parented and adulted with 2 young dc. Took off my coat and realised that in the morning rush I'd forgotten to put on my skirt - I'd spent the morning prancing round in a short coat, a t-shirt and some 40 denier tights which did nothing to hide my massive post birth nickers.

Ok you win 😂😂😂

@burritofan

I was at a dinner meeting somewhere Very Posh when I realised my dress was both inside out and back to front, the Primark label sitting at my collarbone like a crap brooch.

This made me laugh out loud

Not me but my partner

We were selling our home and so the estate agent lady came to have a look to price up.

We sat down on the sofa whilst we discussed improvements before we took pictures of the house.

My partner was sat opposite me and the estate agent was sat on a sofa inbetween us. Think U shape.

My partner has our kid on his lap, his legs as usual apart (that’s the way he sits, I’m assuming lots of people do right?) . After about five minutes I notice his boxers and a bit of his right ball on show. He had a massive hole in his pants.

I think though the lady only realised after I realised because that’s when her body language changed and she was being friendly but weird.

My partner continues to talk forever, he would not stop talking. He was being his usual confident self just chatting the fuck away.

She tried to end the meeting a few times and I encouraged this by telling her it was nice to meet her and we will be in touch but my partner kept asking her questions.

After the poor lady left I told him.

Those joggers went straight in the bin,

@burritofan

I was at a dinner meeting somewhere Very Posh when I realised my dress was both inside out and back to front, the Primark label sitting at my collarbone like a crap brooch.

Fabulous description!

She never got back in touch

Partner refused to sell the house with that estate agent.

Wore a beautiful long floaty dress to a posh function. Didn't realise said dress was completely see through until a nice gentleman pointed out that my thong was the talk of the room and kindly offered me his lovely grey dress jacket for the rest of the evening.

Another disaster involved a cream wrap over top I wore to a huge dinner function for work. Before the first course was served someone knocked a full bottle of red wine over. Yes, all over in my direction. It was summer so had no cardigan or jacket to put on and had to sit like that all evening and give a speech to boot. I looked like Dracula had had a good go at me. Oh what a lovely evening.

Had loads of hair disasters. Not so long ago (pre lockdown) I spent ages straightening my hair for an evening out. It was sleek and shiny when I left the house. The weather had a bit of fine mist going on but didn't worry me as I was out in it for mere seconds. Well those seconds turned my sleek hair to Monica's Friends frizzball. Didn't realise until I went to the ladies and was horrified by the disaster looking back at me in the mirror. No emergency bobble on me either. Had to tuck what I could behind my ears and suck it up.

Had a handbag disaster once. The zip jammed shut as I got to the front of a queue. I couldn't open it for love nor money to get my purse. I had to leave the shop, go home and cut the bag to get to my purse! Never experienced anything like that before or since. Still, there's always tomorrow.

Here's a really embarrassing one. When I was in my early twenties I got sent on a first aid course for work. I wore a scoop neck top not realising it gaped when I bent down to do CPR. I wore a hot pink polka dot push up bra that day. I don't think many men learnt much about CPR after that.

Center parcs outside going down the rapids my large(GG) breast falls out as I grab a man's upper thigh hilarious and embarrassing. These are so funny!

Not mine but a guy I worked with once caught a morning rush hour train into central London and found himself sat opposite a professional looking lady with a pair on knickers perched on her head.
We decided she must have used them to keep her hair off her face when doing her make up. It always haunted him that he never plucked up courage to tell her before she got off!

Corvus

Classic opening the door to the Amazon man mid breastfeed but totally forgetting to reposition either top or bra

Multiple occasions of teenage clubbing when you could never tell which clothes would go see through under UV light until you were in the middle of the dancefloor

My far too tight hipster trousers splitting halfway through the day at secondary school

Many, many period leakages

Got in the lift at work. It was one of those mirrored ones and immediately noticed my jumper was back to front. I quickly pull my arms in so I can twirl it round when the lift doors open and my boss and a VIP step in. I'm standing there with no arms in my sleeves like a nutter!

I have also done the classic opening door to postman with boob on display when bf DD1.

The catch is that whilst DD is now a teenager we still have the same postman. Between lockdown, home working and internet shopping we have been seeing a lot more of each other lately and I am certain he remembers. I know I do. I have seriously considered moving house.

Lunch time drinks with a group of friends... had a bit too many and forgot I was wearing a spaghetti strap jumpsuit and not trousers. Went to the loo and pulled the “trousers” down so hard, both straps snapped. I had to text my friend and together we fashioned a halter neck that resulted in a very nasty friction cut around my collar bone/neck. I was also extremely uncomfortable for the remainder of the day and went home early.

Went to Greece, unfortunately our luggage failed to accompany us. No prob, we went in the hotel shop and bought some beach stuff. My swimsuit was made of a very odd sponge like material which held water so everytime I got out of the pool it was so heavy with water it was practically round my knees. I had to keep going in the loo to wring out my boobs.

Couldn't be bothered to iron blouse, so just did the front section. Meeting with clients and OMG their heating was set at inferno. Couldn't take my suit jacket off and sweltered the whole way through it.

As we left the meeting I tripped on the step at the door and did a very inelegant three-long-stride-try-to-correct-and-don't-fall manoeuvre in 4'' heels.

25 years ago and I remember it like yesterday 😂

I used to have a pencil skirt that would slowly rotate as I walked, so after about 10 mins the zip and slit would be at the front. I kept having to stop and put it right, but then it would happen again, all day long. In the end I just gave up and let it go round and round.