No, EE my 80 year old mil doesn’t have photo ID

[Comefromaway]

They took her driving licence off her because of her dementia. She hasn’t been abroad for 30 years. No, she can’t speak to you on the phone to authorise her account because as we just explained she’s in a care home with severe dementia. She doesn’t even remember our names most of the time.

Yes of course we can bring a copy of the Lasting Power of Attorney but we can’t bring photo ID. No, she doesn’t have a military or police or ID card.

This is all so we can transfer the two mobile phone contracts for which they are paying £35 per month for way too few minutes and far too much data into father in laws name without him having to change his number.

And by the way, signing off with I hope she gets better soon is a tad upsetting to read as we already explained, she’s got dementia and no one gets better from dementia.

I dealt with an elderly lady who's husband had died and could get no sense from the off shore people she dealt with. She asked me to handle it. So, I called them, from the privacy of my office, as I was sure they would be awkward. I explained the Mr X was dead, his wife wanted to take over the account and that I was authorised to deal. They insisted that they speak to Mr X. I asked the person if he understood what dead meant? I then said that Mr X can't speak to you as he has been buried under 6 feet of earth and is rotting into his component atoms. Is that clear enough? Apparently it was. But how dreadful to have to resort to such tactics.

The variability between companies dealing with bereaved relatives or those with POA for someone with incapacity has to be experienced to be believed.

Most companies do have a bereavement team or similar, but many still require illogical and impossible to provide information.

Sorry you've had this, OP. It doesn't get any better!

The whole point of an LPA is that the individual DOESNT have to authorise anything exactly, Saz22!
I think the EE bod got confused, it's not the donor's ID that needs checking, it's the attorney's! I know because I had to send off certified copies of my photo ID and proof of address to every company I needed to operate the LPOA with...

I've heard some pretty appalling customer services one was a person trying to cancel a direct debit for there dead partners phone they kept trying to upsell them a new phone and contract so they went to the shop to see if they could help after witnessing them being given the run around customer service asked to borrow there phone and took it to the back to speak on there behalf sadly it wasn't soundproof so we were all treated to PASSED AWAY MEANS DEAD YOU FUCKING IDIOT SHOW SOME COMPASSION DO YOUR JOB AND CANCEL THE CONTRACT before the sweet lady returned with well I think that's all sorted now do come back if you have any more trouble

Severn trent demanded my nan pay £1.37 or they would "cut her supply off" I said go ahead im pretty sure she doesn't care where she is

Virgin media wanted to speak to nan I asked if they had a shovel and a backhoe they reassessed there request

British gas were fine they did however send a letter asking nan to consider using them again in the future I mean should she reincarnate she might consider it 🤔

When was the LPA registered? If it was after September 2019, you can share an access code with organisations to show them the LPA www.gov.uk/use-lasting-power-of-attorney

Unfortunately, if it's before then, you still have to send the paper copy in.

I had to deal with a water company for my parents. I pay a payment on their behalf. They insisted on speaking to my father, then he failed security. They wouldn't accept me talking to them, despite them phoning me, then they wouldn't take his date of birth. I pointed out that he couldn't change his date of birth. After trying my mother's date of birth, I eventually said "Do you just think you could try my date of birth, as it's my number you phone, my email address that you have, it's me you send letters to, and it's my bank account that you take the money for?" Bingo.

At the end of the call, they said 'is there anything else I can do for you?' I said 'No, you called me....'

I just couldn’t believe the hope she gets better soon comment. I know these people are probably based in a call centre somewhere like India or Poland, but still

EE’s call centres are in the UK and Ireland. I’m not sure what you mean by they’re probably in India or Poland?

It was lodged well before that but was only activated last summer when fil was taken into hospital and dh had to deal with some stuff. Mil deteriorated quickly during lockdown.

The simple policy sounds fine and if that’s the case why couldn’t they communicate it to dh and fil.

That's terrible. EE had been fantastic when trying to sort out my mums account and switching it over to my dads name. The Post Office broadband was, however, terrible! Some people have no compassion or empathy, and company policies need to consider how bereaved or people who are suffering from caring duties are dealt with.

It's appalling. A friend's husband died recently and she had to cancel all his accounts. One large delivery company explained that they were unable to do that without speaking to her husband. WTF!!!!

This was live chat not the call centre and I’d be very surprised if the person we got was UK based.

A company we deal with at work recently transferred all their accounts helplines to their Polish offices much to the dismay of the UK people we deal with, cue much inefficiency and I’ve had numerous conversations with operatives from call centres based in India with many language problems, hence why I used those countries as examples.

It doesn’t help that fil is a bury his head in the sand person. He can’t cope with any problems, he gets so stressed if things don’t go right and he was just getting more and more agitated.

When sorting out my mum's paperwork after her death. British Gas sent her a letter to say sorry you are leaving us! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Honestly that broke me! So thoughtless!

When my mum died in hospital, about 2 weeks later the hospital write to her and asked her if she’d had a pleasant stay 😡

I’m aghast at some of these stories.

I feel your pain OP as someone with a parent with dementia, being suddenly widowed (no I cannot get his consent) and working with vulnerable young people who very rarely have photo id. The hours trying to sort out what should be a simple task are soul destroying.

And by the way, signing off with I hope she gets better soon is a tad upsetting to read as we already explained, she’s got dementia and no one gets better from dementia.

O2 went one better - my brother died so I had to get all his accounts sorted. Contacted O2, explained, sent death certificate. They sent a letter (and an email) to him with his final bill, both of which started with "Sorry you're leaving us". Maybe different text for a deceased customer you twatpuffins??

EE were eventually really good with my father's account. At 87 he had a massive stroke and I couldn't find any details about the direct debit leaving his bank account every month. At that time we didn't have PofA so I couldn't even get the bank to speak to me. Nor could I get
anyone to speak to me from EE because I didn't have an account number or the phone number the account was attached to. It was a nightmare.

In desperation I cancelled the direct debit and waited for the threatening letter. When it arrived I wrote to them and explained what was happening. Somebody called me 6.30pm on a Friday evening and to my shock he was extremely understanding and helpful. He asked me to send medical evidence to their Care Helpdesk ([email protected]) and said there may be a possibility of damage to dad's credit rating - there wasn't. I received a reply a few days later to confirm the account was closed under their ill health policy.

Now if you were to ask about Sky....

@Usernameisgone

When sorting out my mum's paperwork after her death. British Gas sent her a letter to say sorry you are leaving us! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Honestly that broke me! So thoughtless!

I had the same from Ovo recently, after my Dad died.

British telecomm - Has taken 4 months to close the account in my dead mothers name, during which time they have repeatedly harassed my elderly step dad with demands for hundreds and hundreds of pounds. They have a bereavement team - their mission appears to be to make things even harder. All the bills were in mums name, none of the other companies have been nearly as difficult to deal with.

Some depressing tales on here.

The photo ID thing is difficult (PoA notwithstanding) when a lot of elderly people have let their driving licences and passports expire for obvious reasons.

No end of problems dealing with dementia and utilities:(

My FiL had his phone on contract. We went into Orange to cancel and they wanted to see a copy of the death certificate!

I was helping someone who was profoundly deaf trying to change their electricity/gas company
They asked if they could speak to her & agree to talk to me
basically I wrote down what they said & asked her to say yes mumwon can talk on my behalf (indistinctly & she couldn't hear a word)
Frustrating - & a lot of expressive eyebrow raising between us

Sorry he had died - thats why we wanted to cancel. Should have said 😳

That’s horrendous! Had similar when my DGF died, rang HSBC to advise them and cancel his bank cards and got someone who barely spoke English who kept asking to speak to him!!! He was dead, as I explained about ten times over! And I’d supposedly been transferred to the bereavement team!

Roll on a few weeks and I get a call from HSBC with a huge apology. The call must have been recorded and listened to at a later date. The woman on the phone could not have been more apologetic about the call handler. All that said, the damage was done. The Post Office were lovely to deal with, could not have been kinder.