Evangelical family member

[LemonMeringueThreePointOneFour]

How do you stop a family member proselytizing? There's not a snowball's chance in hell that they're going to change my mind, and it's just become irritating and rather awkward.

The latest is that his prayers have miraculously cured someone of cancer. Not sure if he actually thinks he's the Messiah...

I think after the 'my prayers cured cancer' message, I'd have told them not to be so fucking offensive and blocked them.

I mean, how else are you going to deal with it except by stopping it?

@LolaSmiles

If you don't want to be blunt, could you point out that right now their constant pushing of religion is actually switching you off, but should you want to know more you'll ask them.

This could work. ^

I feel your pain @LemonMeringueThreePointOneFour

I know several women who go to Church, and are Christians, and their DH is a firm atheist. It works for them, because they're not obsessed with Jesus, they just have a relationship with him, and like the company going to Church brings.

However, one woman in particular who goes, and has a partner who also goes to Church, regularly questions these women, as to how they can be with a man who doesn't believe, and says 'why not just leave some literature around for him to find, so he can find Jesus too.' and 'just tell him to come to Church and see for himself...' blah blah blah...

Real goading, nagging, griping, insisting they try to get their husbands on the Christianity train.

Weirdly for someone who is so ' religious' and so obsessed with Christianity, she isn't married. (She wants to be, but her partner won't marry her.)

A few women have thrown that in her face, (usually by the 4th or 5th time she had a bitchfest about their husband not being a believer.) It usually shuts her up.

She often starts again on someone else the following week though.

Some people are just so infuriating!

I'm an atheist, and intolerant to boot.

I find the phrase "Will you shut the fuck up with all the god bollocks" usually does the trick.

@LakieLady

I'm an atheist, and intolerant to boot.

I find the phrase "Will you shut the fuck up with all the god bollocks" usually does the trick.

Is that like the opposite of the dog's bollocks?

@JumpLeadsForTwo

Google the song Tim Minchin "Thank you God" and send it to him!!

This is very tempting!

It is very funny!

@HarrietHardy

I think after the 'my prayers cured cancer' message, I'd have told them not to be so fucking offensive and blocked them.

I mean, how else are you going to deal with it except by stopping it?

Can't block him. Have just ignored the message thus far.

Why can't you block him?

Are they a close relative?
My relative was like this. They did it because she believed I'd go to hell if I didn't become a Christian. They really believed it so I kind of understood their good intention and why they wanted me to convert.
It was too much and draining but I couldn't cut them out. So I used to say "well you'll have to pray that I have a epiphany. Because there is nothing more you can say to convince me".

@Captpike

Why can't you block him?

Because it's my brother.

@motheroreily

Are they a close relative? My relative was like this. They did it because she believed I'd go to hell if I didn't become a Christian. They really believed it so I kind of understood their good intention and why they wanted me to convert. It was too much and draining but I couldn't cut them out. So I used to say "well you'll have to pray that I have a epiphany. Because there is nothing more you can say to convince me".

One thing that puzzles me is that if the Christians in my family believe that I, as a non-believer, won't get to heaven, how can heaven be a paradise for them knowing that a member of their family is in hell?

One thing that puzzles me is that if the Christians in my family believe that I, as a non-believer, won't get to heaven, how can heaven be a paradise for them knowing that a member of their family is in hell?

There's a certain brand of Christian that has cognitive dissonance down to a fine art. I suspect your brother is one of those.

And if my sister found God and started proselytising at me, she would find herself blocked so hard, her head would spin. Fortunately she's a godless heathen like me.

I have the same problem. I mute most of my immediate family. Have done for years. It's the only way, sadly. Having "a sensible conversation" doesn't help as some people with this attitude are not inclined to be sensible when it comes to this issue. They (my family at least) literally believe that prayers can protect them against getting caught speeding, that it can cause congenitally sick babies to get better overnight, & that homosexual people can find happiness in a heterosexual relationship, because being gay is a sin. And that disability is a judgment on sinners, & curable by prayer, if you believe enough.

I think next time one if them brings it up, I'll go with what @motheroreily said.

I would quite enjoy this to be honest, normally I think it is bad manners to try to push my atheist views onto others but if someone was actively trying to convert me to their religion I would consider it as an invitation to go full Richard Dawkins on them.

I think “Christians” come in all
Types and many are not very Christian at all because they’re all
About judging people and condemning people when it was meant to be about the opposite.
Also some seem to think that you go to hell for not believing but didn’t the Pope say to a little boy recently that his atheist father would be in heaven because he was a good man with a good heart?

Religion is all so confusing.

Surely the best thing for a Christian would be not to judge you and try to force his ways on you?

One thing that puzzles me is that if the Christians in my family believe that I, as a non-believer, won't get to heaven, how can heaven be a paradise for them knowing that a member of their family is in hell?

That's probably what he is worried about and why he spends his time trying to "save" you.

I'd just tell them to stop it. Directly. Every time. With lessening politeness if it continued.

Even if he's your brother, can't you block him on social media and tell him that he can phone you if its and emergency? Although I suppose he could still text you to evangelise.

@Wearywithteens

“Destroy all of their arguments with well informed scientific and philosophical concepts?”

This way madness lies if he has a deeply held faith. And I don’t mean any disrespect, but there are lots of eminent scientists, physicists and philosophers who believe in God. It’s not the silver bullet you would think. You have to be really, really clever and theologically and academically adroit to begin to even know what you’re talking about in that sort of ‘argument’.

The issue with me is that prayer does not cause cancer, but some religious nutters believe that it does.

And you can't argue with nutters, can you?

Speaking as someone whose devoutly religious mother died a gruesome, long-drawn-out agonising death from cancer, I could cheerfully hand out black eyes if given sufficient provocation on this matter.

cure not cause. Doh.

@DioneTheDiabolist

One thing that puzzles me is that if the Christians in my family believe that I, as a non-believer, won't get to heaven, how can heaven be a paradise for them knowing that a member of their family is in hell?

That's probably what he is worried about and why he spends his time trying to "save" you.

As someone who believed this madness as a teenager, I can confirm that this is exactly why he's doing it.

It's actually quite shit believing in hell. My altar-rail epiphany was the greatest moment of my spiritual life.

(Not really the sort of thing you can use to trump the person who Has The Gift Of Tongues! mind )

@Steelix

Even if he's your brother, can't you block him on social media and tell him that he can phone you if its and emergency? Although I suppose he could still text you to evangelise.

He's not on social media - it was a text message.

I know of two very religious young people who were killed in a horrendous accident which must have been terrifying for them. Why would God choose to do that?

You can't stop him doing it but you can create some boundaries and tell him to stop doing it to you.
The problem is you have to decide how to respond if he ignores your boundaries and continues.

@Wearywithteens

“Destroy all of their arguments with well informed scientific and philosophical concepts?”

This way madness lies if he has a deeply held faith. And I don’t mean any disrespect, but there are lots of eminent scientists, physicists and philosophers who believe in God. It’s not the silver bullet you would think. You have to be really, really clever and theologically and academically adroit to begin to even know what you’re talking about in that sort of ‘argument’.

I teach it to undergraduate level so it would be relatively easy for me, but also can argue the faith aspect too. This was a throwaway comment as most Evangelicals can't argue back against logical structure. I did think my second point might indicate some high level knowledge though and would negate the need for being patronised...