Guardianship of your children

[Pinktruffle]

I apologise if this is a bit morbid. I've been thinking about who I would give guardianship of my child if something were to me and DH. The answer is a fairly easy one for me - my sister - and luckily DH wholeheartedly agrees (though I am yet to mention it to her seriously, in conversations in passing she has said she would have my LO).

My DH being in a very serious car accident (car vs truck - he miraculously escaped with minimal injuries) has really made me think about this and I've been looking at what I would need to do to legally have guardianship for my sister recognised. I was wondering if many of you had thought about this and if any of you had legally had the paperwork drawn up? How did you decide who it would be?

I’m a lone parent with no one for my children to go to so they would go into care I try not to think about it

Pretty sure this was a standard element in the wills me and DH made - saying who would take care of DC in the event of our deaths. Haven't you made wills when you got married/bought house/had DC?

And in terms of how we decided, it was a similar practical thing - we both have siblings of similar ages with DC, so we picked the one who lives closer and who would most likely be up for it. It wasn't a tricky debate and we didn't get into it with the sibling as hopefully it won't happen, but if it did, am sure they'd step up just as we would with their DC if necessary. So nothing tricky involved, though there could be in some families.

Nope, no will as of yet.

We talked to my sister and a close friend out if they’d be prepared to be guardians should the worst happen. They are both now in our will as guardians and financial arrangements are specified so they’d hve access to money for dd.

We went to a solicitor and had it written into our wills. We then made sure the relevant people had copies of them and that was that. It’s not morbid, it’s sensible.

Talk to her, think about financials and then put it in your will. We put down dsil and dbil as we were down for their kids, but in fact now the kids are 17 and 15 I would rather dm and her husband supported them, preferably moving in here, as they live locally and it would be less disruptive.

By financials, I mean will your life insurance pay off the mortgage, will she need a bigger house, will you be able to provide money in trust for them or for their care, will you leave her your estate in this case.

We did a cheap form will and put it in there.

You just put it in your will

Have Wills prepared, appointment of guardians will be included in that.

My solicitor friend gifted me a will for my 30th birthday so I put it in there. Initially I put down a close friend but I changed it recently to my brother, as I’d want DS to feel close to family I think. I also set up my life insurance with them as a beneficiary and executor in that case.

It’s included as part of our wills. My sister and my husbands brother are both guardians to our children meaning that they would jointly make financial and practical decisions for them if we both died. Our solicitor also advised that you can include an age that you want the estate to be released to your children. We went with 22 so that hopefully they would be finished with college and a little more mature.

We have it in our wills.
I would recommend a will.
The amount of people who die intestate staggers me.

My family know if anything happens to me my boys live with my sister.

Lone parent too on the verge of asking my sister to take on guardianship of my dd five years ago when she was out of the blue diagnosed with terminal cancer and died within weeks, so now I'm totally screwed.

I would have a death in service payout from work and that's to go to my sister to raise my children.

You really need to get wills.

We chose a friend to have DD. He’s the best parent I know, his DD is a wonderful child, he was single when we asked him but has a partner now who we adored from the first meeting and has become a great friend as well.

We have siblings but several live abroad or don’t have DC by choice so wouldn’t be up for starting parenting in the event of our deaths.

We’re guardians for some friends who also both have siblings but wouldn’t want them having their DC.

Get your wills done asap.
We did wills when we got married and again when we had children. Then re- did them several times until DC were adults.
Guardians can be named in a will although it's not binding, but who manages the money you leave behind is important and that would be binding.

We have spoken to the people concerned: one person if we were to die before the children were 11 and one person who would take them if we dies between 11-18. This is because if they were young they would go and live with a relative abroad.
We've made mirror wills, naming these people.
They are not bound to take them though, they could change their minds. Then, sadly, the children would go to the State.

lollipoprainbow

Sadly, as I've no close family members I think my dc would be passed around my wholly unsuitable in-laws who I dislike.

Single parent
Ex abused my daughter and I
My will states my siblings to take over everything but he would prob fight for her

My worse nightmare
She is 3

@Happycat1212 That was me and my mother. Had anything happened to her I probably would have had to go into care. I asked about this when I had my own children. My mother told me she simply decided she couldn’t die and that was that