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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your experience of knowing/dating a twin

53 replies

MightlySlad · 10/04/2021 23:17

Yes, I think I may be very odd.

I adore my partner. Not been together all that long but I think It's the real thing (I hope anyway)

My partner is a twin. They're close. I get on well with the other twin.
I find it a bit strange (in a nice way?) that there's often this other person around who looks more or less exactly the same.

Is that odd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mightlyslad · 11/04/2021 21:13

Hopeful bump!

OP posts:
Offerdecisionneeded · 11/04/2021 21:23

My husband is an identical twin. His brother is a self centered cock. It’s not odd to feel like you do, esp in early days. They look and sound exactly the same but the content of what comes out of BIL’s mouth sets them worlds apart. Weird that our kids and theirs will be genetically half siblings, that’s a bit weird..

Original poster
MightlySlad · 11/04/2021 21:26

Weird how they can be so different! My partners is too, not a cock per se, but my partner is much 'softer'. They're extremely different. But they walk/talk the same.. same mannerisms.. I'd not even considered the child thing.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 11/04/2021 21:29

My ex was a twin and whilst they were very similar I could easily tell them apart. They were very different though and whilst they adored each other they used to argue alot.

I never really thought about it. But then all the brothers looked similar.

eatsleepread · 11/04/2021 21:30

It is funny when you think about it OP!

Original poster
MightlySlad · 11/04/2021 21:34

I can tell mine apart if I properly 'look' but if we're in a crowded room and I glance I can't always!

OP posts:
RobboCop · 11/04/2021 21:42

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itsnotmeitsu · 11/04/2021 21:56

I don't like the way twins are treated as different, or 'strange'. They're siblings. Me and my sister argue like cat and dog, or dog and cat, even tho' we're twins (not identical). I accept the 'identical twin' thing may be different to the fraternal experience.

VaVaGloom · 11/04/2021 22:01

My friend is a twin and it is odd being around her sister sometimes as I've resumed conversations at parties and then suddenly realised it's her twin. It must be very weird when it's someone you are intimate with and you must have a strange allegiance with their partners who are with a physical clone of your other half.

FedNlanders · 11/04/2021 22:08

My husband is. Identical but not to me anymore (if makes sense) total difference in mannerisms and way they move and talk.

ripprincephilip · 11/04/2021 22:11

Such an interesting thread

Mother87 · 11/04/2021 22:48

Nothing to do with twins thisBlushbut you've just reminded me of something... My brother and I are mixed-race & I can spot him easily in a crowd in the UK... but when we went to the 'home country' - for the first time as adults, it wasn't so easy... Then my adult daughter and I were in a busy shopping area - I went into a shop and the owner said "aaaah I just saw your daughter" - I asked him how he knew, which he thought was hilarious - "same face laaaa". Probably doesn't make sense to anyone else this🤣

Original poster
MightlySlad · 11/04/2021 23:27

@VaVaGloom

My friend is a twin and it is odd being around her sister sometimes as I've resumed conversations at parties and then suddenly realised it's her twin. It must be very weird when it's someone you are intimate with and you must have a strange allegiance with their partners who are with a physical clone of your other half.
I think this is sort of what I'm experiencing. I find myself questioning why I'm not attracted to the other one!Grin
OP posts:
Africa2go · 11/04/2021 23:35

I'm a twin. My H has never been attracted my twin (we are very similar looking and similar mannerisms) but its funny looking at it the other way. Just as you're thinking about not being attracted to your partner's twin, its very likely he's thinking exactly the same Grin. Whilst we get on, there's not a chance I'd ever consider my twin's husband as attractive / boyfriend material, and I'm sure my sister feels the same about my husband!

Kleptronic · 11/04/2021 23:43

I took an art class which was taught by identical twin brothers. They would swap about teaching (they were both artists but different disciplines, one worked in the college, the other didn't) and think we couldn't tell, but it was blindingly fucking obvious because they were different people. It used to really irk me.

ashmts · 11/04/2021 23:44

It might feel odd because it's new to you. My friend at uni was an identical twin, we used to spend a lot of time with her twin. They got on really well but were also quite different and didn't even look that alike, mainly cos they wore their hair differently. I think you'll just get used to it, it's not really any different to your partner having any other sibling (although I know twin relationships can be very special).

MrsPinkCock · 11/04/2021 23:45

I have identical teen twins. As toddlers they were very similar. As teenagers they are NOTHING alike.

Polar opposite in both personality and style. They don’t even look vaguely alike anymore and when they were babies you had to turn their head to face you sometimes to work out which one it was!

I also have female identical twin friends. Took me years really to tell them apart easily. Much easier now they have different hair cuts Grin

pinkyboots1 · 11/04/2021 23:49

My partner is a non identical twin although they look very similar. His brother is a nice enough bloke but not my cup of tea either looks wise or personality wise. I definitely got the best twin!

mrwalkensir · 11/04/2021 23:50

Married to an identical twin, although epigenetics mean they no longer look so identical (they did until about 11). Fancy the arse off mine. Have never fancied his twin at all.

Lollypop4 · 11/04/2021 23:52

My brothers are identical twins, They are close , speak daily , see each other weekly (work related) and are both married.
I don't think their DW find it odd.
I also have identical twin cousins, who are always together, both are married. I'd imagine as they are so , so close , it might be a bit ott at times.

I also know of identical twins where one dated a guy for 6 months , but he ended up marrying the other twin. Bit weird!

Africa2go · 11/04/2021 23:55

I think it is different than a normal sibling relationship; very rare that siblings look as alike as twins. I know several friends / boyfriends have been freaked out when they eventually meet my twin because we're so alike. I once had a guy that my twin had been, ahem, friendly with, get really aggressive with me because I blanked him (had never met him) because I said he must've mistaken me for my twin! He didn't believe me, convinced we'd been together & thought I was trying to fob him off.

I guess it's weird that there are 2 very similar people- same voice / mannerisms even if they have completely different personalities.

LemonRoses · 11/04/2021 23:55

I’m married to a twin. It’s like having a slightly less driven, more adventurous, female version of my husband. She’s lovely.
We’re very close despite living three counties away from each other. Like with my husband, we share a sense of humour, have similar core values and know lots of people in common. There’s always something to talk about.

Loopylou555 · 12/04/2021 00:01

My husband is an identical twin. They are very different people but it is a different relationship to siblings I think. Interestingly my husband struggles with the normal sibling arguments our 2 boys have as he has no other siblings except his twin and they never really fought, always hung out together and had the same friends at school.

They do look different now, hair is different etc. But they sound the same, its the only time I can't tell the difference is if they are talking behind me and I can't see them.

lovablequalities · 12/04/2021 00:04

There are identical twin mums at my dc's school. One has a child in the same class as my eldest and the other has a child in the same class as my youngest. I'm always getting them mixed up at the school gate or at concerts or whatever. I can sort of tell them apart when they are together but not a hope when they're alone.

I went out with a twin once upon a time. Did not fancy his brother one bit. They were incredibly alike in personality and looks but there was just a "something" that was different.

Bloodybridget · 12/04/2021 00:58

My DP has an identical twin sister, she lives a few hundred miles from us but we have had lots of holidays with her, I like her a lot but am absolutely not attracted to her. She is heterosexual; I don't know if it would feel different if she was a lesbian too. I have twice briefly mistaken her for DP and been completely freaked out!