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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your experience of knowing/dating a twin

53 replies

MightlySlad · 10/04/2021 23:17

Yes, I think I may be very odd.

I adore my partner. Not been together all that long but I think It's the real thing (I hope anyway)

My partner is a twin. They're close. I get on well with the other twin.
I find it a bit strange (in a nice way?) that there's often this other person around who looks more or less exactly the same.

Is that odd?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/04/2021 01:06

My first boyfriend was an identical twin. I could tell them apart and got on well with his twin too.

sonofbobandflo · 12/04/2021 01:22

My brother is married to an identical twin and whenever I've seen them there is just something different about his SIL that means I know she's not my SIL.I can't put my finger on it but she's different in some way.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 12/04/2021 01:57

@Offerdecisionneeded

My husband is an identical twin. His brother is a self centered cock. It’s not odd to feel like you do, esp in early days. They look and sound exactly the same but the content of what comes out of BIL’s mouth sets them worlds apart. Weird that our kids and theirs will be genetically half siblings, that’s a bit weird..
I don't get this sorry. Why would the be half siblings and not cousins??
ClareBlue · 12/04/2021 01:59

@RobboCop

My old boss told me that he accidentally grabbed his SILs arse when she was staying. Obv thought was his wife. 🤭
Or maybe not
HikeForward · 12/04/2021 06:39

Not a partner but one of my best friends is an identical twin. When her sister visits I can’t tell them apart as even their voices sound the same. Sometimes I start chatting to my friend only for her to stop me after a few minutes to say awkwardly ‘I’m Liz, Kate’s over there’ (names changed). Their faces are identical, same hairstyles, similar clothing.

People do a double take if they turn up together at parties and apparently their grandparents still can’t tell them apart!

Offerdecisionneeded · 12/04/2021 06:56

@ FrankButchersDickieBow

They are legally cousins but genetically half their DNA is the same (as half their DNA is from an identical twin) and in my kids’ case, other half of dna is from me and in my nephew’s case, half from my sister in law.
(Not sure if that makes sense!)

knitonedropone · 12/04/2021 08:10

@Offerdecisionneeded

@ FrankButchersDickieBow

They are legally cousins but genetically half their DNA is the same (as half their DNA is from an identical twin) and in my kids’ case, other half of dna is from me and in my nephew’s case, half from my sister in law.
(Not sure if that makes sense!)

I read about twins who had married twins, as they were all identical the cousins were genetic full siblings.
Creepygnochi · 12/04/2021 08:53

We're a twin family. I have both identical and faterna, all of whom are now adults. There is a huge difference in terms of closeness between the identical and the faternal. My faternal twins are goid friends, talk often, meet for dinner, but very much lead their own lifes. My identical twins also have their own partners, careers, friends ect, but are still play an enormous part in each others daily lives and make each other a priority in their lives. They are in contact with each other constantly throughout the day, see each other at least every other day. It's not healthy, and it does limit their prospects in life a bit. For example, both my faternal twins went to different universities, both spent time studying abroad in different countries. My identical twins would NEVER. They'll be 24 this year, and are much better and more independent than they were at 16, but it's still a co-dependent relationship and I suspect always will be.

Thankfully they have great, supportive partners who get along brilliantly.

Original poster
MightlySlad · 12/04/2021 08:56

@Bloodybridget

My DP has an identical twin sister, she lives a few hundred miles from us but we have had lots of holidays with her, I like her a lot but am absolutely not attracted to her. She is heterosexual; I don't know if it would feel different if she was a lesbian too. I have twice briefly mistaken her for DP and been completely freaked out!
I'm a lesbian, and my dps twin is also a lesbian.. One thing I did wonder is how common it is for twins to be of different sexualities!
OP posts:
Creepygnochi · 12/04/2021 09:02

One of my identical twins is gay, the other is straight.

There is actually a statistically significant occurance of transgenderism amongst identical twins.

DelBocaVista · 12/04/2021 09:04

My ex was a twin.
We all got on really well and his wife was like a sister to me. We were together for 12 years. When is was good, it was great!
People always struggled to tell them apart and occasionally I had women come up to say she'd been out with my husband when she'd actually been out with his twin. People would get annoyed at him ignoring them when he'd never even met them!!

However, I never came first. His twin and twin's family were always a priority- this was frustrating and hurtful at times as he missed a number of important occasions (birthdays, graduation etc)
When we split up his twin turned very nasty towards me and banned his wife from speaking to me. I've not seen or spoken to her in years.

However, I don't think it was necessarily a twin thing but just a lack of emotional maturity thing!!

Original poster
MightlySlad · 12/04/2021 10:11

@Creepygnochi

One of my identical twins is gay, the other is straight.

There is actually a statistically significant occurance of transgenderism amongst identical twins.

That is interesting
OP posts:
Pedalpushers · 12/04/2021 10:21

Genes recombine and express differently in all kinds of ways so the kids of identical twins wouldn't necessarily have the exact same DNA!

Floralnomad · 12/04/2021 10:21

My husband is a twin , when they were younger they looked more or less identical but as they’ve aged they now just look like they might be related . For a variety of reasons we actually see very little of the twin although my husband speaks to him on the phone most weeks . I would say they are not as close as me and my sister . The fact that he is a twin has had absolutely no bearing on our marriage .

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 12/04/2021 10:42

Just don't watch the Jeremy Irons film Dead Ringers!

LucyCC · 12/04/2021 10:52

My husband is a fraternal twin, his brother is so different it’s like they’re distant cousins rather than sharing a birthday. They’re not hugely close and very different - different features (one takes after mum, one after dad), different mannerisms and my BIL is gay.

ILikeTheWineNotTheLabel · 12/04/2021 10:55

I went out with a guy. His mum had a female identical twin. His dad had a brother. The brother was married to the other twin. It was weird.

dontdisturbmenow · 12/04/2021 10:55

I dated an twin who lived with an identical twin. They were very close, did everything together, I was his first serious girlfriend.

It was odd going out with both of us, which was quite often. Got many looks.

I found it quite nice, the boundaries were clear but I didn't mind his brothers friendship. It end as I moved. Was quite sad.

Curlygirl06 · 12/04/2021 11:01

I've got identical twin girls. They are very alike in looks and personality and are very close. They see each other a lot and talk a lot. When they're together, people can tell them apart but if one of them is on their own people mistake them for each other.
One day one of them was walking through Bath, a lady came up to her and started talking to her and twin 1 had to stop her and tell her she had the wrong twin!
Whenever they phoned me, (landline) I always had to ask which one they were, though now their names come up on my mobile so I know who it is.
Only one of their boyfriends has been a bit "odd" about dating a twin, but he's long gone now!

DungeonKeeper · 12/04/2021 12:43

My DF and Uncle are identical twins, my DF was left handed and my Uncle right handed.

WatermelonKisses · 12/04/2021 12:52

My MIL is an identical twin. They drive the same car, have the same haircut etc, see each other every day but have their own lives too. They don't dress the same but have the same taste in clothes and probably have some of the same clothes. They are extremely close! Sometimes it's like having two MILs!

Whosthebestbabainalltheworld · 12/04/2021 12:57

I know identical twins where twin 2 told her partner (and his extended family) that she was 2 years younger than she actually was. Caused all sorts of tantrums when twin 1 and her hubby wanted to celebrate T1s big birthday.

DungeonKeeper · 12/04/2021 12:58

My DF passed away a number of years ago so I find it very hard knowing there’s someone still alive who looks exactly like him. My DM struggles with it too.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 12/04/2021 12:59

My DH is an identical twin. Incredibly similar mannerisms etc but to me his brother isn’t in the least bit attractive. I’ve wanted to ask his brothers partner if she thinks the same about my DH but didn’t want to insult her 🤣 at my wedding they had to wear different coloured flowers in their button holes so the photographer and guests could tell them apart

itsnotmeitsu · 12/04/2021 18:11

I have mentioned this on here before, in a different context. I used to live and work in London for the MoD; so Northumberland Avenue, and I'm a twin. My sister worked in Saxons shoe shop, on Oxford Street. I was in TopShop, on Oxford Street, and I saw my sister and said, 'You're here, hello'. Then realised I was looking into a full-length mirror.