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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset about this work situation

53 replies

luckyducky1 · 10/04/2021 18:26

I returned to work 2 weeks ago after 16 months off work ill. Since returning to work my manager (who has started there whilst I was off ill) has offered no support to me.
Quick catch up in the corridor when I first arrived back asking how I felt about been back but nothing else. No return to work, no risk assessment for covid.
Im not sure if I am been over sensitive, it would just help to know I have a bit of support at work.
AIBU?

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 10/04/2021 21:07

Have people not read the OP properly? Not sure how anyone can think it's unreasonable to need some support after 16 months away. If nothing else, your manager should know that just chucking you back in the deep end will mean a hit on your productivity, never mind duty of care and empathy!

Kitkat151 · 10/04/2021 21:15

@TheSmallAssassin

Have people not read the OP properly? Not sure how anyone can think it's unreasonable to need some support after 16 months away. If nothing else, your manager should know that just chucking you back in the deep end will mean a hit on your productivity, never mind duty of care and empathy!
I would describe myself as pretty hard faced....but some of the posters on here are coming across as truly heartless? But then maybe none of them have ever been in a situation where they or a loved one has been very ill. I have had 3 lengthy absences from work ( over 8 months each time)....each time I have been working at a different place of employment and had a different manager....but all 3 times the managers and (all the team )have bent over backwards to welcome me back ....facilitate a long phased return....put me on light duties and regularly check in with me...Pay for specialist equipment to enable me to do my job...I would like to think that I haven’t Just been ‘lucky’ each time.....but maybe I have?? Maybe most managers are uncaring and have no empathy 🤷‍♀️
MichelleScarn · 10/04/2021 21:18

"Quick catch up in the corridor when I first arrived back asking how I felt about been back but nothing else." What did you say during this chat?

KoalaOok · 10/04/2021 21:18

16 months off and all you got is a catch up in a corridor? Where is the privacy? Where is the formal return to work assessment?

islockdownoveryet · 10/04/2021 21:27

@eatsleepread

The truth is, your lengthy absence - through no fault of your own, of course - will have been a complete ball ache for her. Now you're back, she's probably expecting you just to get on with it. Some care and concern would be nice, of course Thanks It must feel very strange for you to be back after all this time. But I'd just put your head down and not take it personally. Good luck Smile
Yeah maybe not bother with the passive aggressive comment sweet pea . The Flowers won’t make you sound nice . I don’t know the op but I imagine she didn’t take 16 months off for a sniffle . I imagine this ball ache your referring to would of been sorted in the time that someone just pulling random sickies .
islockdownoveryet · 10/04/2021 21:29

I agree @TheSmallAssassin I hate it when colleagues cry off sick at every opportunity but jeez . I hope nobody on here never has a illness and needs to take some time off work .

carlycornwall · 10/04/2021 21:39

If you'd returned to work for us after that length of absence we'd have been in touch with you beforehand and done some kit days to phase you back in. Surely a great deal has changed in that time and you'd need refresher training?

It's really odd.

Feelingconfused2020 · 10/04/2021 21:42

I think this is most bizarre and probably not in line with HR policy in most companies. I had a period of 4 months off and had a return to work interview, phased return and catch up meeting a few weeks in, all with my manager. In addition I had a meeting with HR where they asked me how they could support me and also talked me through how my pay had been impacted and how it would be impacted going forward with any further absence. Just so I knew where I stood.

Every company's policy will be different but they should all have something in place, yours sounds disorganised at best but really a little negligent. I also think your new manager ought to have prioritised a more formal introductory meeting just out of courtesy.

Can't believe 50% think YABU!

ColourfulElmerElephant · 10/04/2021 21:44

I do think that you have a responsibility towards your well being in work and since your manager clearly isn’t very good at their job, can you speak to HR to arrange a meeting to ensure the support you need?

Tallybo · 10/04/2021 21:47

YANBU, at the very least you should have had a back to work assessment, and you would think that due to the numerous changes due to covid there would have been some comms. Did you have a phased return?

eatsleepread · 10/04/2021 22:00

Sorry, OP. Genuinely wouldn't have been my intention to cause offence or upset. I was just trying to give a realistic view of how things would stand at my place of work.
I think you should just ask for whatever support you think is appropriate, as it doesn't sound like this will be forthcoming.
Hope you're back to 100% health and take care.

Kitkat151 · 10/04/2021 23:32

@eatsleepread

Sorry, OP. Genuinely wouldn't have been my intention to cause offence or upset. I was just trying to give a realistic view of how things would stand at my place of work. I think you should just ask for whatever support you think is appropriate, as it doesn't sound like this will be forthcoming. Hope you're back to 100% health and take care.
Sounds like a shit firm that you work for..l.God help you if you are ever really ill
WidowTwonky · 10/04/2021 23:36

Absolutely you should have had a return to work interview and COVID assessment at the very least.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/04/2021 23:41

I think that’s shocking. You should have had a proper return to work meeting, in confidence, not in a sodding corridor. What contact have you had from HR?

MixedUpFiles · 11/04/2021 00:33

@islockdownoveryet
Yesterday 20:49 islockdownoveryet

MixedUpFiles
I’ve had a few absences from work over the years. I’ve always just gotten back to my desk and gotten to work. My manager has very little to do with my day to day work. She is just there if I have a problem and handles the review process.
Yeah the odd sick day and 16 months absence it’s the same thing hmm

***

Nice to know you think my months fighting cancer or recovering from major surgery count as the odd sick day.

I still honestly don’t know what intro back to work would be needed. Maybe it’s just because my work is so autonomous.

User490854 · 11/04/2021 07:14

@MichelleScarn

"Quick catch up in the corridor when I first arrived back asking how I felt about been back but nothing else." What did you say during this chat?
I should think that the OP didn’t disclose much information during this chat. It’s hardly the place to explain how your feeling. OP manager should have at the very least taken OP to a quiet private area to talk.
Kitkat151 · 11/04/2021 08:31

[quote MixedUpFiles]@islockdownoveryet
Yesterday 20:49 islockdownoveryet

MixedUpFiles
I’ve had a few absences from work over the years. I’ve always just gotten back to my desk and gotten to work. My manager has very little to do with my day to day work. She is just there if I have a problem and handles the review process.
Yeah the odd sick day and 16 months absence it’s the same thing hmm

***

Nice to know you think my months fighting cancer or recovering from major surgery count as the odd sick day.

I still honestly don’t know what intro back to work would be needed. Maybe it’s just because my work is so autonomous.[/quote]
Well good for you....but lots of people who have had major health conditions including cancer need lots of support....first thing is an individual Covid risk assessment....especially if there are autoimmune issues or people have had chemo or radiotherapy.....many people need specialist equipment....eg chairs, lumbar cushions, voice recognition software..,if they are struggling to type etc....so in order to get these would need support to access the government access to work scheme...,after 16 months off work there can be confidence issues returning to the workplace, lots will have changed, there will be new people...it can be very overwhelming.....then there’s fatigue that is often present after a long illness...,employees often need support to manage this in the early days...then there’s psychological support that may be needed....many work places offer talking therapies,
So..,.yeah....great that you waltzed back into the work place...wit woo for you...,,Maybe you are super woman....,but for many it is a massive struggle ..so I think your original post is very insensitive towards the many people for whom a return to work is extremely difficult.

islockdownoveryet · 11/04/2021 08:39

@MixedUpFiles do you had months of work and you don’t think it warrants a return to work . You just waltz back in and get on with it . ? Just a quick chat that in the corridor you survived a life threatening illness.
That’s amazing if true but come on ...

MixedUpFiles · 11/04/2021 09:40

I’ll acquiesce on this one. People clearly think it requires a meeting. I just honestly never had one. Not after cancer. Not after maternity. My job really is very independent though and my manager really is more just a person I contact if I have a problem.

Tickledtrout · 11/04/2021 09:45

Have occupational health been involved or someone in HR op? Maybe your manager assumed someone else had overseen your return? Who agreed your return date?
Maybe ask for a one to one and in the meantime have a look on your intranet to see what the process should be.
Hope you are feeling better

toodleloooo · 11/04/2021 09:51

Sorry to hear that you were unwell, OP, and hope things are much better now.

If you have an HR department I'd very much expect for them to want to meet with you. I'm surprised that wasn't the first thing lined up for your return.

If no HR department and your main contact is with your manager I'm still a bit surprised at the lack of an initial meeting - as much to see how you are and catch up, as to confirm what you should be getting on with, any new issues to be aware of, etc.

I therefore don't think it should be on you to arrange but if nothing seems to have been lined up I would think about the questions you have/support you anticipate needing and ask for a meeting.

User490854 · 11/04/2021 13:00

@MixedUpFiles

I’ll acquiesce on this one. People clearly think it requires a meeting. I just honestly never had one. Not after cancer. Not after maternity. My job really is very independent though and my manager really is more just a person I contact if I have a problem.
I think it really depends on the job role and the company. I can imagine if a return to work is done for someone off for one day with a cold and not for someone who has been off for 16 months it would seem very odd. Also OP doesn't state what sort of line of work they are in, I can imagine returning to any close contact public role would cause a lot of anxiety if OP has had limited contact with people during the pandemic.
HOkieCOkie · 11/04/2021 14:17

Why do you need a covid risk assessment?

MargaretThursday · 11/04/2021 14:54

I suspect what has happened is that with Covid and people perhaps working from home, taking sudden time off for isolation etc it's probably been forgotten that you've been out for so long.

I would imagine there is a covid risk assessment, probably that went out to staff well back, and they've forgotten that as you were ill rather than wfh you wouldn't have got it. Unless you have a specific reason, then I don't think they'd be doing individual ones.

I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to remind them. As I said, in the odd situation we've been in for the last year, it's probably just slipped their mind, and actually they may be very grateful to be reminded.

snackodactyl · 11/04/2021 15:02

I don’t think YABU at all OP, and would speak to HR to identify the support you should be receiving and not your manager. Hope you are better now Flowers

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