MASHD · 10/04/2021 09:35
The 15 year old next door S. threw balls and rocks from his flat roof towards a neighbours son J. who was standing on his flat roof. The outhouse corrugated roof was damaged. (I saw him do it).
As dad wasnt home
I knocked on Js door the kids answered their mum was at work. Grandad was home but didnt come to the door as hes shielding. Come back when mums home. I left my number she didnt call.
The following day her car was on the drive I knocked they didnt answer. I wrote a note saying that the boys shouldnt be throwing stuff across the alleyways. They should meet outside that would be more appropriate
Ss house is on the corner.
Js house is the second house on the adjacent road.
(From my back window S threw a ball hard towards S who was laughing and it hit my outhouse roof.
When I turned away I heard a smash there was a new hole.)
Ss mum is a solicitor, I've never had much to do with her. She always seemed rather supercilious to me.
I didnt see her call. She popped a note round stating the kids said it was J throwing stuff. My son didnt do anything. He can go on his flat roof to retrieve balls. My parents are vulnerable. 13 year old can't throw 15 feet (lol)
I called her and said I wasnt being funny but S was swearing before that. My property was damaged.
Her response was my kids were there they said it was S. She established I only saw S doing it NOT J.
Which is true but I've no idea J did or didnt I just saw S.
She was quite curt and we ended the conversation.
I walked out of my house later and saw my note under my wiper blade. But it had been screwed up really tight then flattened out folded up then put under.
It was so screwed up it didnt feel like paper it was flimsy! 🙄
I messaged her touched on a couple of points but said why would you return the note like that....
She was glad I got the note obv it upset me as mine did hers. Given I called her I found less offensive not commenting on other stuff as you said my son wasnt throwing stuff.
I didnt put anything through her letterbox cos of Covid.
If there's a note under the wiper you can put gloves on.
I was being safe.
Am I being unreasonable?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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Arbadacarba · 10/04/2021 09:43
So, to summarise, your neighbour's son J threw stones which damaged the roof of your outhouse. (correct me if wrong).
What outcome are you seeking - do you want J's mum to cover the cost of repairs?
You can wear gloves whether a note comes through the letterbox or is put on your windscreen so I think this is a red-herring. I'd have put it through the letterbox to make sure it was seen quickly.
It isn't clear what your AIBU is so I haven't voted.
Jumpers268 · 10/04/2021 09:46
I think OP is saying Sean (I'm making up names here) was throwing stones and/or a ball at John and in the process damaged OP's property. Sean is the neighbour's son and John is the other neighbour's son. Sean's mum is blaming John saying Sean can't throw and John's mum hasn't responded to OP's note. I think....
MASHD · 10/04/2021 10:04
Lol. I'm new to this!
'Sean' is next door lives on the corner.
'Johns' house is on the adjacent rd.
I can see Johns flat roof from the rear of my property.
They were laughing and shouting as teenage boys do (I dont like the swearing though) but when I heard stuff thrown and went and looked and saw Sean throw something that hit my outhouse roof and there were holes in it.
A ball and three rocks are on it right now.
I was asking John's mum that they could meet outside rather than shouting across alleyways. That's all I was asking of her.
Shes annoyed that I've involved her son.
Obviously I'm not happy that my property has been damaged.
But screw up my note and put it under my wiper blade? I think its a bit much.
I've messaged John's dad he said hes had a word with his son.
Theres been no mention of repair to my roof.
honeylulu · 10/04/2021 10:04
I'm unclear about this. Were there two throwing incidents (one after you had alerted the family of S or possibly both families) or just one incident? And you and/or your children witnessed the incident(s)? And now S's mum has been curt and won't discuss it?
I think if there was just one incident then you need to write it off as an accident and hope that behind the scenes S's mum has actually given him a bollocking and it won't happen again. (It's easy to feel upset and defensive when someone criticises your child but also common to want to address the behaviour. )
If its two incidents then S is taking the piss and if his parents won't take it seriously and discuss it with you if send a final message to say you are disappointed, you had hoped to discuss and deal with it privately but since that isn't an option you will be reporting the antisocial behaviour and criminal damage to the police not least because there were witnesses on each occasion.
Jumpers268 · 10/04/2021 10:13
Ah it's John's mum that got annoyed as you had said you'd only seen Sean throw something? But Sean's parents haven't responded to your message?
I think you should have probably put the note through the door rather than on the car windscreen (I would've viewed that as passive aggressive but not sure that's logical on my part haha).
I would probably leave it now, if you're not expecting them to pay for the damage. However, if you see either of them doing it again I would be getting evidence.
Jumpers268 · 10/04/2021 10:16
Ah I missed post of your reply. Sean's father has said he'll have a word with him. You could get a quote for the repairs and send it to Sean's father? As it was Sean that you saw throw the ball/rocks. I have no idea how much it would cost to repair and that would play a part on whether I'd take it further.
MASHD · 10/04/2021 10:16
This all happened in one episode.
Sean is a pain.
My kids dont go out in the garden much, his swearing and behaviour is dreadful and his siblings too. Theres a hole in my roof from before but I dont know who did it but rocks were in the room below.
Theyve broken my daughters camera, he got on my daughters tricycle and rammed it into the wall and the pedal broke. Getting my kids to copy their swearing. All a few years ago, I try to keep my kids away from them.
I've been in the garden someone shouts F'ing b*ch and shuts the door.
Their dad does have a word it stops and then something else happens.
But now my property?
I just want to live in peace.
thenewduchessofhastings · 10/04/2021 20:42
Sean's mother sounds like a twat who is raising a lying entitled brat.
Unfortunately being a solicitor doesn't make someone a good mother.
If my teenagers were throwing things off a roof they shouldn't be on and my neighbours complained;words would be had with said teenagers but then again my lot although not angels wouldn't lie about it and I'd be more inclined to believe my adult neighbour.
MASHD · 13/04/2021 17:00
So I asked on the nextdoor website if there were witnesses to damage being done to my property.
Stated the junction/corner so as not to identify houses.
Came home last night after 2 days at work NHS). Didnt notice til this am.
Eggs thrown at the front window and upstairs front fascia. :(
This solicitor is a psycho bitch.
Deffo think it was her lot. She was so horrible.
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