Do you ever fantasise about buggering off on your own for months?

[FortunesFave]

I do! I'm in my late 40s with two teenage DDs and a DH who I love very much. All of them. I could never actually DO it but I sometimes imagine myself moving to a small town in England and living in a bedsit all on my own...preferably an older town with plenty of history.

I'd spend my days reading and writing and painting and going on long walks.

I'd eat party food every evening...and probably start smoking again.

Then after a few months I'd come home again, completely refreshed.

@BarbaraofSeville

But I think a lot of these fantasies are driven by prioritising the food needs of other people - lots of comments along the lines of eating small meals, party food etc and 'not having to cook big meat heavy meals for other people' and the place staying clean, tidy and clutter free, so if that's you, think about what you can change.

Especially if you don't have to cook for small DC, don't feel obliged to make proper meals for male partners and teenage DC when all you want is an omelette. Have your omelette and let them make their own food.

It's true! I feel trapped by cooking! I don't cook big, meat heavy meals...we eat meat about once a week...but I'm always thinking about what to make.

They all expect it now.

I do sometimes say "I'm not cooking tonight...make yourself something" and then I have an egg or whatever.

But meals are so intrinsically part of family life aren't they?

Yes definitely. I often think about just carrying on driving to somewhere and not coming back for a week or so. I’d do it when the kids are in school & dh is in work and see how long it took them to notice! I love my family but I’d love a week off too.

I do! Not a bedsit but a small basic functional flat - warm, easy to run, nothing to go wrong. Lots of time, not many obligations, just pottering around. A cat would make it perfect.

Basically I would live like a pensioner, which I am beginning to see the charm of.

@TeenMinusTests

I fantasise about going to a lovely hotel with sensibly sized but delicious meals, and activities I want to do, and no responsibilities or decisions to make. To be nurtured.

What if the meal size wasn't sensible? 🧐😆

This sounds depressing. Why on earth are you doing their laundry? I can't imagine letting my mum do my washing.

Well it seems churlish if I'm putting a load on not to put it all in together? In fairness DS does put washing on and hang it out sometimes, everything goes into the washing basket in the bathroom so it's more hassle to sort through it for my own stuff than to bung it all in. I don't iron anymore (I was doing so until I realised how long it was taking me...I now just find my own clothes and iron what I need)

I dream about having a small cottage in the sun on a daily basis. I thought I was odd but it seems there are many of us. I picture myself sipping red wine on a warm summers evening.

It is pure escapism for me - life is busy, I cook almost every day, housework is never ending. I am unhappy in my marriage and feel suffocated working from home after a year. I also browse pretty houses I cannot afford online and again only picture myself there. I think about where my furniture would be placed.

I am a born dreamer- spend the majority of life 'in my head'.

Dreaming gives me hope and a little joy.

I have frequently fantasised in that way, FortunesFave.

I do all the time! Somewhere quiet in the middle of nowhere and to shake it up someone quiet near bars.

When my DS was small I used to often think of just us getting on a train and living wherever it took us.

I'm in the process of getting rid of stuff and plan to live with as few possessions as possible. Having stuff makes me itch

Well it seems churlish if I'm putting a load on not to put it all in together? I don't want to hassle you, so ignore me if you feel hassled, but I'm really struggling to picture this. I can picture saying something like, "would you put these jeans in?" if I saw my dad or mum doing a dark load, but I cannot imagine them doing my laundry generally. It just feels a bit too personal. If you house-shared with a friend, would you do her laundry too? I'm not sure I would, but I think I may have done so as a student.

In between work, housework and grandkids, I've not got much time on my own. I usually have the grandchildren on Fridays, school run, looking after the youngest all day etc and usually have them in the school holidays as well. I had a plan to go wedding dress shopping next week with one of my daughters on Friday so I wasn't having the children but that's been cancelled now. However, I'm having the day to myself, no housework, stay in bed late, go for a wander round the shops, listen to the radio instead of non stop cbeebies, can't wait. Just me, no one else.

Oh yes. Little white cottage facing the Atlantic Ocean. Just goats for company. Bliss. Never gonna happen though. I'll end up working until I drop.

I fantasised when I was youngster about riding a bike across USA..when DC were little I dreamed about a tent/ shack grizzy Adams style somewhere remote away from anyone (pnd) . Then a yacht sailing ⛵ round the world. In fact that one appeals. Thinking about it I could fancy any of those if I had £ to carry it off.

Read Ladder of Years - Anne Tyler.

YANBU

Not so much now, but when my children were tiny I'd dream of a tiny cottage by the sea, just big enough for me. I'd spend time on rightmove looking at possible places. I think there were occasional threads on here comparing fantasy houses. I wanted somewhere I could sit and read and no one would touch me!

I do this periodically. There’s a Buddhist retreat centre I go to and stay at, in a tiny cottage overlooking the sea. I also rented a lighthousekeeper’s cottage for a bit a few winters ago.

@Coving

I do this periodically. There’s a Buddhist retreat centre I go to and stay at, in a tiny cottage overlooking the sea. I also rented a lighthousekeeper’s cottage for a bit a few winters ago.

Funnily enough, I've had a few friends do similar...go to a retreat...and it seems more acceptable somehow. Than just saying "I'm buggering off for a bit!"

Oh, I just say I’m buggering off — I’m not a Buddhist!

@Coving

Oh, I just say I’m buggering off — I’m not a Buddhist!

Can I ask why the Buddhist retreat then? Rather than an Air BandB?

Incredibly beautiful location, excellent vegetarian food, meditation classes if you want them, anyone else around is often on a silent retreat of several months.

Yes often especially when going through nasty divorce.

Somewhere remote where no one can bother me so I can be in peace.

Yes. The Scillies, or Scotland. A little flat. Quiet. Peace.

I buggered off on my own for a month to spend the time painting and writing in the middle of nowhere thousand of miles away from my home. Loved it, it was life changing.

I was childless then, but I found many women in my programme where mums recharging batteries to keep them going throughout the years.

Now DS is buggering of to uni, I am looking forward to start disappearing again!

God yes. Always have. Life is very tough at the moment and I'd love to run away for a while. It's one of those times when everyone needs a piece of me (not unreasonably) and I want to jump up and down, say 'what about me' and just bugger off to a summer house on a Scandinavian lake. Or something like that.

Definitely

I used to live in a bedsit in an unremarkable English market town before I met my DP loved that time so much!

Currently I have the flu and am just dreaming of the days when I would have been able to stay in bed and recover alone, pre-children.

We travel together and live as we please, I've no need to get away on my own though.
If you can't do it yourself why not include family rather than leaving them behind, and smoke if you want to, nothing stopping you doing what you want to, now.