Deadbeat Dad

[Jiggyjigsaw]

My daughter is almost 2 and her father hasn’t contacted her since her first birthday. He comes from and lives in a foreign country. I sent him short messages, photos and videos about our daughter but slowly stopped because it didn’t seem that interested and he didn’t request any more.
He sent her money for Christmas but apart from that he hasn’t sent anything and we don’t have any agreement in place. We didn’t officially 'fall out’. We were in temporary accommodation together because of Covid related circumstances and then I moved back to the UK with our daughter and communication just dwindled.
I wouldn’t stop him from contacting her if he wanted to but I would rather have full responsibility for my daughter than take any money off him. From things I have read online since I have his name on her birth certificate he has equal responsibility and there doesn’t seem to be anyway I can prevent this. I think it will cause problems in the future if I have to get his permission to travel and cosign documents as he is absent. Please can you share some advice and experience with me, I don’t know what I should do next. AIBU to just want him to fade away and let me focus on providing for my daughter.

Why would you need his permission to travel?

And sign documents?

FireflyRainbow

Technically she does if he is on the BC. She can be stopped from travelling

It’s a shame op I think PR should become invalid if someone has been absent for a certain length of time

😆 she doesn't. Taken my teens abroad countless times

If he was going to do that he would have stopped her leaving the country to come to the uk.

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

If he's absent how would he know when they plan to go on holiday

I've literally taken my boys countless times. Not once been asked for a letter from daddy 😆

She can’t be stopped at the airport 🙄

Can*

I've ever had nor been asked for permission to leave the country with my daughter who doesn't have my surname

@FireflyRainbow

😆 she doesn't. Taken my teens abroad countless times

Uh... she does. I’ve been asked before for a letter from DD’s father giving permission for travel when I was entering another European country. Just because you weren’t asked doesn’t mean it isn’t the law.

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

No single parent I know has either.

Thought I was going mad then, just because pp hasn’t been stopped doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen! It’s the airport that can stop her

If he is absent she can't get a letter. So she doesn't need one.

The rule came in around 2003, some cou tries require it and some don't. I have a different surname from dd, we had a problem leaving one country already and they called her father for permission. Other times I've just been questioned and showed the birth certificate.

My friend has also been stopped and questioned leaving her home country in Europe with her son.

A father still has PR whether absent or not

I've been away nearly every year since then and never been asked. I seem to have quite a few single mum friends and know they haven't either. Strange one. I only know my boys dads still alive as I still get the £7 a week maintenance no way am I asking his permission to go on holiday after 15 years

Yes I know he has pr thats why i get £7 😂

@FireflyRainbow It depends which country you go to and I suppose it also depends on which officers are working and how old you children are. I've traveled several times with her last year and twice the birth certificate and passport were OK and another time they refused to let me fly without speaking to her father by phone since I didn't have a letter.

Yes some countries are very strict on the permission to travel thing. I’ve been stopped a couple of times and I’ve been told by others not to even try to go to certain countries (Canada, NZ) without making sure everything is in place and notarised.

Op wasn't going on a 2 week TUI holiday though she was taking a baby out the country it was born in indefinately so I'd expect them to check with dad then.

@FireflyRainbow I took dd out of the country she was born by myself at 6 months old and we weren't questioned. Anyway, how would they know my intentions! Different countries follow different regulations to different degrees.

I usually travel a few times a year as I have friends and relatives abroad. Would it work if I get a letter from him and just change the details each time?