Deadbeat Dad

[Jiggyjigsaw]

My daughter is almost 2 and her father hasn’t contacted her since her first birthday. He comes from and lives in a foreign country. I sent him short messages, photos and videos about our daughter but slowly stopped because it didn’t seem that interested and he didn’t request any more.
He sent her money for Christmas but apart from that he hasn’t sent anything and we don’t have any agreement in place. We didn’t officially 'fall out’. We were in temporary accommodation together because of Covid related circumstances and then I moved back to the UK with our daughter and communication just dwindled.
I wouldn’t stop him from contacting her if he wanted to but I would rather have full responsibility for my daughter than take any money off him. From things I have read online since I have his name on her birth certificate he has equal responsibility and there doesn’t seem to be anyway I can prevent this. I think it will cause problems in the future if I have to get his permission to travel and cosign documents as he is absent. Please can you share some advice and experience with me, I don’t know what I should do next. AIBU to just want him to fade away and let me focus on providing for my daughter.

This is the thing I can never understand. If you turn up at the airport with a scrappy piece of paper how do they even know that the other parent has signed it?

Do they check the letter is genuine? How can they if the father isn't there? Seems a bit pointless to me and not a good way of preventing child abductions.

This is to stop child trafficking so you will find that young children and babies are much more likely to be stopped than older children and teens who are able identify their mum/dad verbally and assure airport staff they are not a victim.

Even getting the piece of paper authenticated seems to be able to be done online cheaply enough, I wonder how stringent the process is.

OP, I'm sorry you are going through this.

I also have a child whose dad is from another country, went back and is not involved. We are still in contact with the family though.

I did get stopped once at the airport - still able to fly though. I'm not in UK and got my ex-married name included in my passport as that is their surname.

Have you heard of Reunite? Don't be alarmed because it's basically for children who have been abducted abroad by the other parent, but they do have all the information you may need. Good luck!

www.reunite.org/

@Iflyaway Thank you, I will have a look through that, it looks like it has some useful information. I am planning to change her name surname to mine as well, if he will agree ...