To ask you to tell me about 14/15 year old girls

[Cheeseandlobster]

I am finally writing a novel which I have wanted to do for years. My main character has a 14 year old daughter and I have realised I don't know a lot about them. I really don't want to be one of those authors who gets teen speak/music/interests/fashion wrong. I was a 14 year old girl once and I was a bit of a goth which isnt what my character is. She is probably a bit more trendy, used to be sporty (maybe lapsed though now), has moved away to a new area with her mum so is a bit moody/ uncommunicative.

Please tell me about girls this age now, or rather in 2019 as I have been agonising about including covid too and decided not to.

What type of music / bands might they like?
Do they like gaming?
What sort of clothes might they wear?
What phrases / slang might they use?
What social media? I understand Facebook is for oldies so I am assuming Instagram and Snapchat?
And anything else at all. For example how do they hang out these days? Ds is 19 but when he was 14 he was so antisocial and insisted that people his age communicated via their X box headsets. Thankfully he is more sociable these days

I appreciate teen girls are all different and not a homogenous bunch but anything will be helpful as I am a bit lost with this. Thank you

Never watches tv
Very much a gamer. Online with her friends ALL the time
Uses Tiktok but not Snapchat or FB. Whatsapp is best and watches loads of YouTube.
Not interested in clothes or make up
Is always tiiiiirrrreeeeed
Listens to Indie and Bedroom pop
Like Anime
Refuses to do any exercise except exercising her thumbs
Can be delightful and funny
Can be awkward for the sake of it
Hates hates school- too stressful

Oh yes, won’t answer phone but is glued to it , usually on discord.

@PatriciaHolm

Mine (16) doesn't game, never has; she uses art apps, that's about it. Agree with the consuming a lot of media, including watch parties over text/chat (more of a covid thing maybe). Likes horror movies, many 18s have been watched between the ages of 15/16.

Mine isn't a cool girl, doesn't wear (or even see the point of) makeup, though has 2 holes in each ear; clothes are generally selected because they are comfortable and suit her, not because they are in any way trendy. She flips between happily talking nonsense with her brother (15) and I, and sitting in her room not wanting to communicate at all!

I find the tendency for teens in books is for them to speak either far too archly and wittily, in a way that the author perhaps wanted to be at that age, or to grunt like Harry Enfields' Kevin....

Yes I have noticed this too. I want to avoid the grunting or too witty thing

They buy their clothes through an app called depop. They watch lots of YouTube, Netflix and prime. And of course Tiktok. They definitely do the short video messages thing. All. The. Time. They still like cuddles with their mum. In private. They like going to dessert places like creams to meet up with friends.

Just read some other replies. Yes to every look being an 'aesthetic' eg 'Mum, I'm into a black and white aesthetic at the moment' (wears only black and white and drools over two tone items). Or 'I'm just browsing a kind of steampunk aesthetic on Vinted do you want to see my favourites?'.

And YES to having friends on speakerphone and not conversing the whole time... Just like background. I thought that was just my daughter and her best friend that did that. They will set aside time to 'draw together' for eg, and have long silences interspersed with conversation and send pictures to compare later. If she is on a group call or online game she mutes herself as soon as I walk into a room so I don't embarrass her apparently.

Also a good point about not using language that will date. 'Cool' is still used a lot so I don't think that will date, I wouldn't bother with the current alternatives.

The only help I have is that year9 girls tend to be the most problematic.
Self harming, vodka binges, home made tattoos, befriending all sorts but still little girls... it can be quite a ride. They mostly come through it unscathed but I remember my DD at that age; many of her friends were sexually active, almost all were self harming and some wee absconding. It can be a ride.

Facebook is for oldies, Snapchat, IG and FaceTime, like another poster said I have also never seen DD talk on phone.
Jeans/leggings, short tops but will wear baggy ones too.
Not into heavy make up but skincare products cost me a fortune, she nags me because I use soap on my face!
Has never played a computer game past the age of 9, she reads a lot of classics and watches documentaries, hates horror and romance!
In the shower for hours, thank goodness we have two bathrooms.
Eats really healthy and exercises but will then munch a whole big bar of chocolate in one session.
Always hunts out discount codes before she buys anything online.

Agree very woke-had to explain to dp and I what pansexual means.
Sleeps as much as possible.
Tiktok and Snapchat.
Wears something for 5 minutes then puts it in the washing basket.
Minecraft
Still watches friends, modern family and big bang theory.
Whatsapps me from upstairs when she's hungry.
Unfortunately suffers from terrible anxiety and sees a counsellor (mostly social anxiety brought on by school)
Isn't 1 of the "populars" and likes it that way.
Has a small circle of friends but 1 "best friend".
Is amazing with her much younger brother.
Used to be an avid reader but this changed around 2 years ago.
Wears make up but mostly blush and far too much eyeliner imo.
Has just dyed her hair blue!
Loves a crop top but ironically also oversized hoodies
Is currently horrified that the school are clamping down on skirt length and all the girls are going to protest apparently.
Loves a chat about issues such as environment, LGBTQ, women's rights, capital punishment etc

My book is aimed at predominantly women between maybe 20 and 50 so I guess I will need to find the balance between creating an accurate 14 year old without baffling the reader

I don’t have a 14 year old, but it’s not that long since I was one.
I mostly read mumsnet .
And was very into communism and bodice ripper novels

I have teenagers.

Gaming - yes. Among Us, fortnite, minecraft, animal crossing.
Make up - a little bit for general use but mostly applied to make videos for likes. They do things like make up one side of their face or make themselves up to look like Donald trump or other ridiculous ‘challenges’ then watch all their friends doing the same thing. They make split screen videos of themselves with friends. Viral dances, lots of those. Not flossing, that’s SO three years ago.
Most of them have declared themselves bisexual/lesbian/transgender/pansexual/asexual to their friends but not to their parents. Mine haven’t declared any of those to me but see above.
Music - not much into it really, usually the viral songs and dances and just ask Alexa to play things.
Books - Read, read, read, they read lots and review the books online or make videos about them and share them with their friends.
Crop tops called ‘belly tops’ jogging bottoms, massive jumpers - oodies. Have to have a pocket for their phone.
Have to be chased into the shower.

Constantly on video chat with someone. Even if reading or doing chores. I never know who can see or hear me as someone’s phone is always propped up somewhere as background noise.

My 14 year old daughter is a real mixed bag.
She is obsessed with acquiring 'little moons' (Mochi) which, I believe, is a Japanese ice-cream treat. They trended on social media, and the shops are always sold out!
Mine is seldom contented with what she has. She dreams of us moving to a bigger house, etc. I think she'll have a lot of drive when older.
Incredibly sensitive. Like, unbelievably so, with a bit of a victim complex!
Wannabe vegan. She's crunching on roasted carrots as I type! She will lapse for a MacDonalds though ...
Trendy clothes. The 90s are back in fashion. Think ripped jeans with a bit of flare, and oversized sweaters, often with the names of cities on. North Face puffer jacket is a must.
Fairly competitive - she doesn't like it when her two sisters are getting on better with each other than with her!
She can be very sweet. She is the family dog's favourite. And she absolutely adores him.
A very loyal big sister to my youngest, and little sister to my eldest (she's the middle child).
Suffers from bouts of anxiety. Way too concerned with how she comes across to others.
Her moods go up and down like I don't know what. Her periods are bad.
Zany sense of humour.

I love her dearly, but of my 3 she is undoubtedly the hardest work
Hope this helps.

Oh, and very 'right on' with everything. She showed me a picture of a social media influencer person she likes. I commented on how nice the girl looked, and how good it was that she could make her point - and still be popular - while keeping all her clothes on.
Well, you'd think WW3 had started Girls should be able to wear whatever they want, or just a bikini if that's their preference. My point of 'yes, but I can take someone more seriously when fully dressed' was positively inflammatory!
It wouldn't occur to her to be 'anti' anything good, which is a positive thing.
Well, maybe anti mum at times

I own a 14 year old DD.
Facebook is definitely for old people but she uses insta/Snapchat/WhatsApp to chat to her friends, discord is the big one at the moment though, all the kids use it. The only person DD telephones is me to pick her up like a taxi service
She’s very into skincare especially Korean stuff but not makeup, she’d rather have an extra 15 minutes in bed in the morning!
She loves everything Japanese, anime, Kwaii, and drawing it.
Clothes are baggy jeans, oversized hoodies and a bucket hat, with vans or docs.
She loves art and drawing but very rarely watches tv, it’s nearly all streaming and Netflix, plus Spotify.

DD turned 15 during 2019, agree with the wokeness and she was really in to Dodi Clark. She had her helix pierced at 14.
Bands 22 Pilots, Imagine Dragons, David Bowie, Queen (Bohemian Rhapsody came out the end of 2018 and she saw it about 3 times)
She trains and competes for a sport and still loves it.
Lots of male and female friends

Yeah, right.

15 year old DD

Never wears make up
Has never games
Reads Insta, rarely posts, communicates with friends via WhatsApp
Netball crazy, and any ball sport really
Favourite foods are pasta, hummus, cherry tomatoes and profiteroles
Her bedroom is always a total tip
Wears jeans in the winter, denim shorts in the summer
Currently ploughing her way through Greys anatomy

15
No make up
Watches Asian subtitled mini series mostly
Anime
No gaming
Not that into music
Hoodies and jeggings
Minimal social media
Doesn't like texting
Not in to boys (or girls)
Very creative and a bit of a swot
Tight group of friends who are similar but she is the most anti social
Very loyal, very rule abiding, very much aware of social injustice.
Very stubborn

As set in 2019, VSCO girls was a thing at that time (often would be saying SKSKSKSKS, wearing scrunchies). I was in one of the aforementioned age group in 2019 so these are mainly my experiences

Music/bands

• IME I’ve been a fan of Shawn Mendes as have some of my friends
• Eminem
• Billie Eilish
• Some friends do listen to Queen
• Ellie Goulding/Ariana Grande/Anne Marie/Zara Larson tended to have popular songs, as did 5SOS
• Halsey is also rather popular and likewise with NF, Alessia Cara, Lizzo
• Sleeping at last is rather good too, I personally loved them especially when dealing with depression. James Arthur has quite a few good ones and likewise with Blackbear
• Lewis Capaldi is a hit too

Gaming

• Among us
• animal crossing
• Did used to play the sims quite a lot

Clothes

• vintage style, baggy jeans are a hit
• skinny jeans are out

phrases/slang

• Wagwan (means what’s up)
• peng/fit (good looking)
• banging
• bunda (ass)

Social media

• many use TikTok, Snapchat or Instagram
• texting is rare
• on FaceTime won’t always talk, sometimes tend to be in each other’s background and go on phones etc
• SNAPMAPS! Usually will have lots of people all mixed up, useful and going places, sometimes used in place of google maps

other things

• if you support JK Rowling, you’re “transphobic”
• thick eyeliner apparently means you must be gay
• ‘best’ tiktok dances tend to be Savage love and Mariah Carey obsessed with me
• Lots of people tend to be depressed or anxious (there’s a song called all the kids are depressed which many relate to)
• netflix is most commonly used streaming service
• lots of people have an obsession with the vampire diaries. Teen wolf, American horror story, riverdale, Sabrina teenage witch and strange things are very popular

What type of music / bands might they like?
DD (14, nearly 15) loves 80s music, always has her ear pods in listening to music so can’t always hear what she’s listening to. Her best friend loves One Direction!

Do they like gaming?
Suddenly got back into minecraft. Occasionally plays fortnite and among us with her younger brother.

What sort of clothes might they wear?
Shorts. Belly tops. Fluffy fleecy clothes. Leggings. She’s into comfort. Queen of lounging around.

What phrases / slang might they use?
Occasionally tries out slang and then laughs as she has to translate it for me.

What social media? I understand Facebook is for oldies so I am assuming Instagram and Snapchat?
Yes, Snapchat and Instagram, tiktok

And anything else at all. For example how do they hang out these days?
Used to have friends FaceTime a lot. Pre pandemic, used to have her friends over a lot.

Anything else:
Spends a lot of time doing her hair and or make up. Likes buying make up, skincare, body sprays, hair stuff and ‘looking good’.
Is happy to cook for herself or make healthy salads.
Already planned what A-levels to do.
Likes to reorganise her bedroom frequently and have clear outs so she can buy new clothes.
Does no sport. Took up skateboarding with a friend.
Loves the dog.
Watches Netflix any moment she can. (Only had it for a few months). Otherwise watches YouTube.
Can sleep in til 12 at weekends easily if I let her.
Makes amazing cookies and clears up afterwards!
Likes playing on the trampoline.
Stopped being moody at 13 and turned into a delight. Now just waiting for her to turn back again...

Other things forgot to add

• and I oop— was a common phrase
• clothes tend to be from Primark, New Look, ASOS and Shein
• youtube also very popular
• lots of self care
• boob tubes

Music: Billie Eilish, BTS
SM: Instagram, WhatsApp
Clothes: skinny jeans, leggings, boots.
No to slang and gaming.
Ice cream parlours, shopping and the park with friends (always walk one another home afterwards)

Mine is 14, spends all day on YouTube or watching anime.

Also loves bubble tea and all things Japanese. She hates soup but likes miso, hates fish but likes sushi - basically if it’s Japanese, all of her long held preferences go out the window.

She dresses like a cross between a Victorian school teacher and a french maid. Powders her face until she looks like a ghost and wings her eyeliner like a boss.

She wouldn’t be seen dead listening to any of the music her peers enjoy, hating anything “normie” - she listens to lots of classical piano and violin music and random music from the shows she likes. JoJo’s Bizarre adventure is a favourite of her and DS and it has loads of musical references from the Beatles to Arctic Monkeys, so they’ve had a good intro to music of all ages through watching that.

She hates anything spicy - complains about the pepper in sausages - and will always order a plain chicken build your own wrap from any given takeaway, no Mayo, no sauces, no salad. Except katsu curry, which gets a pass because it’s Japanese

She’s obsessed with our cat, a kindred soul who hates people and spends all day loafing around.

She absolutely adores me and will do anything to help, making me cups of tea and washing up huge piles of baking stuff for me. She communicates with punctuation emojis >:( when she’s cross etc and she doesn’t use LOL or laughing emojis, she responds with ‘keyboard smashing’ to funny things that her friends say eg hjjgffdhhjjkkhyygfbjddd
(No, I don’t get it either but she insists that’s how they do it!)

I know these are very specific to anime kids but it might help to have a strong ‘thing’ to hang her likes and dislike on.

Oh, and yes to shein and being vegetarian.

Punctuation emoji didn’t work as it tuned into an MN one!

Without the spaces, her favourite Emoji is

: (

Or XD