Arrogant speech therapist

[Rosiebelle17]

Hello, I took my child to a speech therapist yesterday, I feel he has a slight stammer , this is my second time attending, however I feel I was brushed off yesterday and that she didn’t have any interest in us other than when we paid 🙈, she passed a few remarks as in ‘you appear very stressed out ‘ and when she was asking if I could spend individual time with my child that I needed to get my husband to help , also when I said my husband is away a lot as he is self employed she said in a cocky manner ‘ I’m self employed and I choose when I work and who I see ‘ she also banged the door when we left , I’m really annoyed 😒, I feel like making an official complaint but I’m just wondering if that is a waste of time ?

An official complaint about what

Her attitude and the way she commented on my situation without knowing anything about my lifestyle

The best thing to do would be to go to someone else. She doesn’t sound like the right SLT for you op. Odd comments by her.

you need a thicker skin. your complaint would go nowhere apart from giving whoever reads it a brief chuckle

Problem is, it’s subjective. There are no witnesses, and she’s independent.

You can only really complain to HCPC. It’s hardly a ‘fitness to practice’ investigation.

I agree with her in that people who are self employed can make time to spend with their children. When your husband isn’t working away he can take the opportunity to spend time with your son .

Did you appear very stressed out?

I don’t think I appeared stressed out , when we arrived she barked at me whether we had used sanitizer etc , which we had. I understand people that are self employed can work differently but every industry is different in my opinion, she seemed to generalise without knowing our circumstances

Doesn't sound very nice of her. My son had 8 years of speech therapy and we see many different people but none of them were rude.

She doesn't sound very professional or very nice. Her job is to help your child, not to critique your husband's work situation. I don't think there's any point complaining but try and see someone different if possible.
If you were saying that you had no time to help your child because your husband is away a lot I can kind of see her point, as it's not really her problem to sort and she can't help your child unless you're willing to put the time in at home. But it sounds like she was already rude before that part.

Maybe she thinks the slight stammer is fine and you are overreacting compared with the cases she probably sees usually? Not making excuses for her though and obviously it's no excuse for rudeness.

I think you'd get nowhere complaining to anyonr. I'd find a new speech therapist and maybe you could send her an email explaining how rude you thought she was. Perhaps she won't care, perhaps she'll be mortified.

If she's self employed word of mouth is important and you'll be telling anyone you discuss this with about her rudeness so I think it would make sense to let her know you are disgruntled and leave it at that.

Are you sure she hasn’t just hit a nerve? Was there a conversation about you needing to do the speech therapy with your child every day? You could have replied about not having time because your dh works a lot?

Also if you gave the impression you do everything for your son because your husband is always at work her comment may have been meant as a supportive comment suggesting maybe you need more help from him. It sounds clumsy at best and yes it's not her place to say but is your DH actually spending any time talking with his son? Maybe that is an issue she sees a lot.

Is this private or NHS? If you can, I would not bother complaining but rather would find a different therapist.

I had some awful experiences with speech therapists (a child with very severe speech difficulties but they refused to believe me about the precise nature of his difficulties and patronised me hugely). We finally gelled with a therapist at my child’s school who confirmed what I’d been saying all along - that it was a motor issue not a language understanding difficulty - and he made leaps and bounds in progress once the activities were aimed at the actual problem.

Similarly if your therapist is barking orders and making generalisations I would query if she is properly tailoring the therapy to your son or simply adopting a one size fits all policy. You will get on better with someone who listens and gels with you and your son.

Life's too short - take your money to someone who is pleasant.

I paid for the session privately, I feel there is an issue , mother’s instincts, I’m afraid if I don’t act now I loose valuable time in dealing with it

Go to someone else OP. Some comments on here are very unkind, please ignore them.

DSB has been a qualified Therapist for years. But he isn't that nice to women, never settles in a relationship for long, he can also be very cutting and sarcastic, particularly to women.

He's also been unkind to male friends going through a hard time. He's great on paper though, and very popular in his field of work.

I don't know what he's like when he's working of course but still, with all that as well as him being impatient and pretty scornful, I just wish people wouldn't have the attitude that Counsellors and therapists are always right. Sometimes who they really are shows at work, from time to time.

I don't know why some here are doing their best to make you feel bad but that's MN for you.

From what you've written she was arrogant and condescending. She's human, some are talking as if she could never be wrong. Of course she can. Whatever she was aiming to put across, she's just too harsh.

You and your child don't need it. Go to someone else.

I've a child who stammers, he's thirteen now so been there, done that and got the t-shirt,

There is some evidence that suggests if you have special
One to one time with your stammering child (better with a preschooler) they call it "special time" this can have a positive impact on their speech. This may have been what she was getting at.

Just a thought.

She sounds very odd.

We went to one for dd and she was awful. Dd is autistic and hates touch. She kept insisting on grabbing hold of dds hands and stopping her fidgeting/stimming (dd was 15 at the time). She didn’t respect her boundaries. It felt like she was trying to “cure” DD’s autism or at least make her act less autistic.

& you clearly want to complain so just email her, don't worry that it may not get anywhere. At least you'll have done what you feel is right for you.

Thank you , I think I will email her , it might stop her being nasty to someone else ,

Biscuitless

That’s interesting. You said your son had a severe speech difficulty. Were they suggesting it was a language comprehension issue instead? They are two very different issues.

I wouldn’t hesitate to find another Speech and Language pathologist. I had speech for two of my ASD sons, and having a good, long relationship was critical. So was trust and kindness.

Working with special kids requires a certain type of personality. The SLP, me and my boys spent a lot of time together and it needed to work. Your situation sounds like it very much isn’t going to work.

Getting your child the right services trumps everything.

We had a brilliant, down to earth speech therapist who worked wonders very quickly. However that was after deciding not to proceed with the first one contacted as her condescension was so hugely apparent in our initial phone call.
Try someone else OP.

How old is your son Op?

If you haven't signed a contract with her, just cancel the next appt and go elsewhere. It won't work if you can't communicate with each other and if you don't trust her.