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AIBU?

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Original poster

Arrogant speech therapist

51 replies

Rosiebelle17 · 07/04/2021 23:20

Hello, I took my child to a speech therapist yesterday, I feel he has a slight stammer , this is my second time attending, however I feel I was brushed off yesterday and that she didn’t have any interest in us other than when we paid 🙈, she passed a few remarks as in ‘you appear very stressed out ‘ and when she was asking if I could spend individual time with my child that I needed to get my husband to help , also when I said my husband is away a lot as he is self employed she said in a cocky manner ‘ I’m self employed and I choose when I work and who I see ‘ she also banged the door when we left , I’m really annoyed 😒, I feel like making an official complaint but I’m just wondering if that is a waste of time ?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 08/04/2021 00:21

Like others, I don't feel there is anything there to complain about.

Without any of us being there or hearing the exchange we have no idea if she touched a nerve or was trying to help you with thoughts and suggestions, or if she was arrogant. Though even being somewhat direct isn't wrong necessarily, it was not appreciated by you, so you can take your custom elsewhere.
In all professions and trades there are people who can come across as a bit rude, or blunt. When you are employing them, or not, you can decide if this matters in the scheme of things, and whether their reputation for being good at what they do over-rides that or if it is too big a barrier for you to put aside in order to get the help you paid for. It is a 'supply and demand' situation - if you have several local SaLTs that you can afford and have space, then you need never see her again. If you don't, then accept she might still be offering some vital support to your dc and that you might never like her. Or, of course, she might just have been having a really bad day for some reason, like most of us do at some points in our lives.

Original poster
Rosiebelle17 · 08/04/2021 00:22

My son will be four soon , no issue going somewhere else other than having to pay a large first assessment report fee

OP posts:
denverRegina · 08/04/2021 00:28

He's only three? Maybe she's pointing out your "stress" and life factors like his dad working away because that's the real issue.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2021 00:29

If you're in the UK have you tried the NHS? I couldn't complain about ours at all, although no face to face ATM! Obv it depends of you can get a referral from GP.

There really isn't enough to make a complaint to a professional body about and if she's sled employed, you else do you complain to?

You could try challenging it as it happens -
‘you appear very stressed out' not at all, just eager to get on
asking if I could spend individual time with my child that I needed to get my husband to help oh no we manage 121 time thank you
I’m self employed and I choose when I work well that's lovely for you.
So not getting into it but just closing the conversation down

Boringlynormal · 08/04/2021 00:51

She sounds like a cow, OP.

Definitely find someone else.

Beepbopadooda · 08/04/2021 01:26

I'm not sure you have grounds for a complaint to HCPC, but I would email. It sounds like a clash of personalities here and maybe that you're not gelling with her, I'd be exactly the same after hearing those remarks. Sorry if you already know this but please be reassured that stammering at this age is fairly common and that it's nothing you've done. Parents don't cause stammers or make them "worse".

Witchcraftandhokum · 08/04/2021 01:29

You keep saying "I Feel" my son has a slight stammer. Does everyone else around him "feel" the same?

Crazycatlady007 · 08/04/2021 07:09

It doesn't sound like she has very good consultation skills. Saying 'You appear very stressed out' is not very helpful. I would send in some feedback so that she can reflect and learn from it.

Foxhasbigsocks · 08/04/2021 07:12

An SLT once told me it would benefit my dc not to be an only. I found this quote frustrating given that I was trying without success (eventually got pg). I think hcp sometimes throw out comments without really thinking about the consequences

Sirzy · 08/04/2021 07:27

Does he attend nursery? Have they raised any concerns?

I do wonder if part of the problem is she simply doesn’t see it as being as much of an issue as you feel it is.

I don’t understand why you took issue with suggestions about spending more 1-1 time with him and involving his father because that can only be in his best interests surely?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 08/04/2021 07:34

If she’s a private therapist, you can leave her a review somewhere.

DYWMB · 08/04/2021 07:55

@Rosiebelle17

My son will be four soon , no issue going somewhere else other than having to pay a large first assessment report fee
Lots of scammers in private healthcare. Tgeyd do well to remember they're providing a service and certainly charge enough. Find a new one. Can they use your assessment from her?
Tanfastic · 08/04/2021 08:05

@denverRegina

He's only three? Maybe she's pointing out your "stress" and life factors like his dad working away because that's the real issue.
If he's three the chances are he'll grow out of his stammer, honestly I wouldn't waste your money.

There's a great support group for parents of children who stammer on Facebook that will give you all the information you need and tips on how to tackle a stammer in a preschooler for free. There are adult stammerers on there and also very experienced speech therapists as well as teachers who stammer etc. It's been a godsend for me over the years.

There is no cure for a stammer, most preschoolers naturally grow out of it and most speech therapists don't specialise in it.

My son had years of speech therapy from the age of three but it was all useless and I know so many other parents who day the same. Those that don't normally their child would have just grown out of it anyway. I think speech therapy for a stammer (I'm not talking about any other speech problem) is only really beneficial when a child is older or adult. the emphasis now is more on building resilience and confidence and acceptance rather than curing.

Hope that helps.

WaveAndShout · 08/04/2021 08:16

I'm a SALT (not independent). She does sound a bit prickly. If you don't gel with her, don't pay for her services. Leave a review. She's selling a service.

Have you spoken to your HV/GP/preschool about a referral through the NHS?

LookAtAllThoseSocksSaidTheSock · 08/04/2021 08:53

OP she made you feel a certain way, that's all you need. I believe you, she does sound rather condescending and impatient with people.

Email her
Make a report even if it goes nowhere
Leave a review
Never go back.

Original poster
Rosiebelle17 · 08/04/2021 08:56

Yes thank you I will leave a review, the preschool haven’t said anything other than he is quiet shy at times , thanks for all the suggestions I didn’t know about Facebook groups, I was looking for reassurance and help from the speech therapist and I feel all I got was rudeness and lack of manners

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosiebelle17 · 08/04/2021 08:58

Also she banged the door when we left with impatience , my son wanted to know why she was so loud , 😂

OP posts:
LookAtAllThoseSocksSaidTheSock · 08/04/2021 08:59

Unfortunately, a lot of these people only have the paper qualifications but not the personality, character or the temperament to deal with people and emotions.

The good thing is you're not stuck with her. You can keep looking till you find the right fit.

LoudestCat14 · 08/04/2021 09:14

Find someone else (preferably someone who knows the Lidcombe technique, as it has great results for under 7s) and email to complain by all means, but are you sure she wasn't just stressing how you do need to set 1-1 time aside to support your DS and it's really important both parents are on board with this? She may have got the impression you think your DH is too busy for it. As for the door banging - mine often slams if there is a window or door open elsewhere in the house so it could've been accidental.

DYWMB · 08/04/2021 09:14

@Rosiebelle17

Also she banged the door when we left with impatience , my son wanted to know why she was so loud , 😂
She sounds like a twit. Mine had a stutter at nearly 3, outgrew it in 6 months. There's programmes used by speech therapists online that give tips on what to do and not do. I took mine to a speech therapist and once she realised I wasn't interested in the outrageously expensive therapy on offer and just wanted tips to support my child, she lost interest. Charged a fortune for some scrappy piece of paper which she wrote 'has stutter. I recommend -therapy 1 to overcome social issues -therapy 2 to address stutter.

I laughed. Especially as when I'd seen her for the assessment she'd told me there was no evidence near to say the two therapies together worked.

Like others have said, many will just grow out of it. I'd just wait 6mths, completely ignore the stammer and not hurry your child when they talk. Lots of eye contact, wait until they've finished what they needed to say without interruption and repeat it back to them to show you understand.
Get everyone to follow this pattern (or whichever technique you use) and I bet in 6 mths there's huge improvement.

Brainwave89 · 08/04/2021 09:40

I agree she sounds very patronising and her behaviour was inappropriate. I would email directly to her noting these points by way of feedback. I would also ask for any fee I had paid to be refunded.

breatheworks · 29/05/2025 11:24

If your speech therapist comes off as arrogant, it’s okay to find someone else. A good therapist should support you, not talk down to you. I switched to one who uses breathework, and it really helped me feel more relaxed and heard.

Comefromaway · 29/05/2025 11:50

We had a bad experience too. Dd was 14 and had a lisp which was affecting her singing (she was studying musical theatre and applying for professional training). We disclosed that she was autistic.

The ST kept taking hold of her arms (she is averse to touch) and forcing eye contact. She spoke to her like she was 5 years old and was so patronising. There were other things too that I can't remember now but dd still speaks of what a bad experience it was for her.

Shellianotwheels · 29/05/2025 12:11

Send a letter to who? She’s self employed. You’re writing a letter to the woman you’re complaining about then sending it to her… why haven’t you went through the NHS?

Comefromaway · 29/05/2025 12:35

Shellianotwheels · 29/05/2025 12:11

Send a letter to who? She’s self employed. You’re writing a letter to the woman you’re complaining about then sending it to her… why haven’t you went through the NHS?

Her regulatory body?