Partner money issues
Hutch19 · 07/04/2021 22:45
Am I being un reasonable to cut a long story short my boyfriend recently asked me to chip in on helping out some of his family members and contribute and send some money over to them , I have never met these people before nor spoken to them what so ever , I was very offended I just think it is a very bold thing to ask of your partner especially if you have never met them said family members asking for money .I didn’t want to seem rude by saying I didn’t want to contribute but I felt like he just dismissed my reasons for not wanting to as just being rude or a bitch because they are more in need than us . Any advice would be helpful
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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lydia2021 · 07/04/2021 22:50
I think it depends how long you have been dating and the normal culture in whatever country your bf comes from. Many adults in the world support entire families with their income. You need more information about his customs etc, before you fire off money, your money to other people. I assume he sends money already. More info for us please.
Elieza · 07/04/2021 23:06
He’s testing you out to see if he can manipulate you and scam you out of money to give his relatives. And if he can get away with it once...
Many people who move to other countries send pay home to their families back home.
But to expect someone else to do that is a bit much. What he does with his money is up to him. And what you do with yours is your business.
I don’t like his dismissive attitude. I don’t think he respects you much and I think he will use you for your money. To consider you a bitch seems a bit misogynistic. Is his culture one which doesn’t respect women?
Inclined to think dump and move on, sorry.
Blacknosugarplease · 07/04/2021 23:06
I don’t think it matters how long you’ve been together or how kind/caring/considerate your partner is, it is not your responsibility to provide for his family. Some people might say it’s a cultural norm- yes it is for your partner to send money- but that cultural norm doesn’t extend to you.
Chloemol · 07/04/2021 23:12
No you are not being unreasonable. I would be considering the relationship now if that’s his expectations. What he does with his money is up to him, but I would be concerned if you did move in you would pay bills here and he would send his money to his family.
Gah81 · 08/04/2021 07:39
Not being unreasonable at all. Regardless of the cultural heritage/norms of your partner it does bot extend to you unless perhaps you have been married for a long time, are close to his family etc.
And the fact that you say he was dismissive of your reasons for saying no is a huge red flag. Huge.
Please be on your guard with this one.
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