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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to wonder when parents of teenage children have sex?

72 replies

Raspberrysins · 07/04/2021 20:37

Just that really! I’m presuming that older kids start to stay up late and go to bed after their parents sometimes. So AIBU to wonder when can you ever have sex? At the moment we have young DC so can do it when we go to bed as they’re already asleep. We don’t really do it that often and we aren’t especially noisy BUT it would be enough noise to be heard if other people were awake in the same house 😳 So what happens when they get older?

OP posts:
Waroftherosesandsome · 07/04/2021 23:31

Well out teens very often wanted to talk about their day wef about 10 30 at night.. so that affected night time. I can catagorically say that not all teens sleep in in the morning .. which is something we sort of assumed . .. we did try when they were in the house .. but the closed door was an strange thing to them as they were used to an open door and flopping on the bed to chat .. the closed door therefore simply attracted attention .. and no privacy !

LipstickOnYourCollar5 · 07/04/2021 23:37

Early mornings, or late evenings when they’re all in bed asleep (I hope!) Smile

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 07/04/2021 23:38

You perfect the silent method when they little, you never get out of it, then they are grown up and gone and you’re too knackered to bother. 😕

theuncles · 08/04/2021 00:17

I really don't want my children to hear me having sex! I'd have died to hear my parents - although my younger brother slept above their room and thought it was funny......Wink.

But it's been tricky during lockdown. Yesterday both DCs went out to meet friends and so we made the most of the freedom at about 2 pm - but things have been a bit sporadic in that department over the past year....Smile. As PPs have said - evenings are out now because the children stay up as late as we do - and if the children don't go to clubs etc then our 'us' time is limited. And they never seem to play games with headphones at the same time.......Grin

Good luck!

Troublewaters2021 · 08/04/2021 00:25

Whenever my ds is very aware that adults have sex 😂 I mean we don’t make a habit of being loud. But he knows not to enter room etc. He knows we have sex.

avamiah · 08/04/2021 00:36

Daughter is 11 and is on Easter break at the moment .
She is obsessed with tick tock and playing roblux( all which I monitor may I add)
However, I could probably make a 6 hour round trip somewhere and she still wouldn’t of left her room and known I had left .
Not that I would , but my point is that a quickie, upstairs , downstairs or in the garden shed is not a problem here .
lol

Totallyfedup1979 · 08/04/2021 02:01

Whenever we want to. We are quite fortunate to have a three story house and can lock ourselves away upstairs easily. DS never bothers with us and we invested in a silent bed and mattress, so it’s possible in the morning, noon or evening.

malificent7 · 08/04/2021 02:26

Can anyone tell me where to get a non sqeaky bed...ours is so noisy !( sorry for derailment!) But we do it when dd goes out with friends.

avamiah · 08/04/2021 02:30

malificent7,
Hahaha
Do you have a Divan bed ?
The base or mattress sounds like it needs replacing .
Depends on how much you want to spend , you can go John Lewis , or Dreams etc

SionnachGlic · 08/04/2021 02:40

Sometimes in the shower...saving water! Kids hear shower running & never come in. When they are out of the house with friends or at sports ...when they are asleep, week nights they'd be in bed by 10ish...or very early morning...the first thing you'll hear from ours in morning is bathroom door, then loo flushing, taps & we've about 30 seconds to get ourselves straight cos they are immediately in the room...

StarlightLady · 08/04/2021 05:49

People have sex. That is how children get into this world.

Sometimes l heard my parents having sex. As l got older, l heard my sister having sex and before l left the parental home, l expect sometimes they heard me.

None of us were scarred for life. There is no need to shout from the rooftops, but likewise it should not be seen as such a great taboo!

Kittykat93 · 08/04/2021 07:33

Why cant you just do it quietly when they are asleep or playing video games downstairs or whatever?

BraveGoldie · 08/04/2021 10:06

I recommend divorce with 50-50 custody! You have half the week for noisy sex and the other half of the week for quiet sex! 😂😂

Trustisamust · 08/04/2021 10:10

@BraveGoldie This was me for many years...until all of the sex ended up in a pregnancy!! Grin

BraveGoldie · 08/04/2021 10:11

[quote Trustisamust]@BraveGoldie This was me for many years...until all of the sex ended up in a pregnancy!! Grin[/quote]
Lol fair warning!!!!! Thank you! 😂😂

BraveGoldie · 08/04/2021 10:12

Sorry not to imply you are not delighted!!!!! But I kind of enjoy life as is! Smile

Trustisamust · 08/04/2021 10:18

@BraveGoldie Well she was planned...first (and last!) baby for my OH. My other kids are 11 and 13 so yes, it's been mad starting all over again! Smile

Bagamoyo1 · 08/04/2021 10:24

I couldn’t enjoy a quickie while the kids were on their Xbox, however “zoned out” they might seem. In my experience, however absorbed they might be, the minute I was not visible they’d suddenly develop some pressing need. Bit like if you dare to try and make a phone call.

I have a teen who is up till late, and a younger child who wakes early. So mornings aren’t possible in case we’re disturbed, and evenings aren’t possible because we’re too tired by the time teen goes to sleep.

We take a day of annual leave every couple of months!

Kimchidreams · 08/04/2021 10:37

“We take a day of annual leave every couple of months!”Shock. You take annual leave to have sex?
We have teens and usually do it either at night(quietly) or first thing in the morning. Scheduling in a session is such a turn off.

Bibidy · 08/04/2021 10:58

@StarlightLady

People have sex. That is how children get into this world.

Sometimes l heard my parents having sex. As l got older, l heard my sister having sex and before l left the parental home, l expect sometimes they heard me.

None of us were scarred for life. There is no need to shout from the rooftops, but likewise it should not be seen as such a great taboo!

I agree with this. Don't think it's a massive deal tbh.

Might make teenagers cringe but so what??

TheVampiresWife · 08/04/2021 13:15

@Kittykat93

Why cant you just do it quietly when they are asleep or playing video games downstairs or whatever?
Not if you live in a flat with a pretty much nocturnal young adult!
LuckySantangelo35 · 26/10/2022 15:43

Bagamoyo1 · 08/04/2021 10:24

I couldn’t enjoy a quickie while the kids were on their Xbox, however “zoned out” they might seem. In my experience, however absorbed they might be, the minute I was not visible they’d suddenly develop some pressing need. Bit like if you dare to try and make a phone call.

I have a teen who is up till late, and a younger child who wakes early. So mornings aren’t possible in case we’re disturbed, and evenings aren’t possible because we’re too tired by the time teen goes to sleep.

We take a day of annual leave every couple of months!

@Bagamoyo1

what if you don’t fancy it on your days annual leave

seems very regimented

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