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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little sad its my car that's being sold

50 replies

IliveonCoffee · 07/04/2021 18:43

We've decided to go down to one car (well one car and a motorbike). He's getting a bike, transferring his car to my name, and my car is being sold. The proceeds pay for the bike.

Logically, my car is the oldest, by 6 months and the most miles on it. But I can't help but feel a little sad. It was the first "proper" car I bought, I love driving it. I had every intention to run it till it died (or at least started to "need a new [insert part here]" every time I take it.

His car is technically better - it has a reversing camera, touch screen all that jazz. But it doesn't feel like I chose it, or that its really mine. It will always be his old car.

I just feel a little sad even though I'm happy with the decision....

YABU - get over it...a car is a car
YANBU - you can feel sad for a car. make sure you take it out for a good drive with a coffee before it goes

OP posts:
LemmysAceCard · 07/04/2021 18:49

I think it depends on the car to be honest. If I had, say, a big car like a Nissan Juke and was getting rid of it and my new car would be a Fiat 500 I would be gutted. But if it was the other way round I would be happier to get a bigger car.

I have just got a new car and was a little sad to see my old car go,I felt a little emotional seeing it drive off (even if the bloody thing was falling apart) so I do understand what you mean.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/04/2021 18:52

Yanbu

It's not necessarily better than yours Confused

He could have driven it like shit whereas yours is a known quantity to you Grin - six months isn't that different age wise....

What I'm saying is that you don't HAVE to sell yours - he's getting a bike, you get to choose YOUR vehicle

So be really sure before you sell it Thanks

Theunamedcat · 07/04/2021 18:54

Sell both cars buy one of your choice? I was gutted when I sold my first car

Twospaniels · 07/04/2021 18:56

Sell both cars and buy one that you want / like.

Ultimatecougar · 07/04/2021 18:56

Keep your car. It sounds like you prefer it and you'll be the one driving it. Let him sell his car to get a bike

Operasinger · 07/04/2021 18:59

@Ultimatecougar

Keep your car. It sounds like you prefer it and you'll be the one driving it. Let him sell his car to get a bike
This sounds like the perfect way to go.
RatsolutelyFabulous · 07/04/2021 18:59

Definitely not being unreasonable. When my beloved Ronnie the rover kept fucking up with everything and I was away at uni, my mam and stepdad offered to put a deposit down on a brand new seat and I’d pay the monthly payments. Don’t get me wrong having a new car was amazing and it was lovely of them both.

However, he was my first car and when I went to test drive the car I was buying. I cried at the dealership, the look on my mam and sales persons faces was priceless. Might of been an overreaction but I worked two jobs to buy and pay for it all for years and felt like I was losing a limb!😂

Do what’s best for you, you’ll be driving it at the end of the day and if you feel more comfortable in yours, keep it and sell the other!

ThatOtherPoster · 07/04/2021 19:00

He sells his car and gets a bike. You keep your car.

Ding let him talk you into selling yours. If you do, then he effectively keeps his own car AND gets a bike, whereas you lose your car. It’s not fair.

Just say you’d rather keep yours.

Sansaplans · 07/04/2021 19:01

Keep your car then. He probably wants to keep his so the feels he can drive it whenever.

Dogscanteatonions · 07/04/2021 19:06

If his transport is going to be his bike then you keep the car YOU want - after all you'll be the main driver. All the bells and whistles on his car don't mean anything if you're not bothered and you'd rather have your car!

My relative has offered me their car as they no longer drive it but I'm super happy with my car and don't want a massive big SUV despite all it's extras. My car is ideal for me because I chose it for what I need.

1Morewineplease · 07/04/2021 19:10

I shed a tear at having to say 'goodbye' to my fantastic Fiat Uno. My husband's Sierra Estate trumped .
Sometimes you have to move on.

SunshineCake · 07/04/2021 19:14

Why does he get to decide all of this? No way. His car is sold for him to buy a toy. You keep your car.

End of.

somuchpainouch · 07/04/2021 19:15

YANBU. I still miss my first car.

Original poster
IliveonCoffee · 07/04/2021 19:15

They are much of a muchness. Mine is Kia C'eed and his is Peugeot 308. Despite the age, there is a big difference between miles - as he bought it 2 years ago, with 7000 on it, whereas mine is 4 years starting from 32000.

He takes a lot of care of it, so not worried about it from that point of view.

I have thought about selling both and getting another kia ceed but this whole exercise is part of a finance reshuffle to save some money, wedding etc.

I certainly prefer my car, but then I rarely drive his atm, so it feels odd, but I'm sure in 3/4 years time I'll be back here, telling you how sad I am to have to give it up for a larger one, with room for (theoretical) kids and their accompaniments!

OP posts:
GameSetMatch · 07/04/2021 19:15

Sell both vehicles, and he chooses his bike and you choose the car you want?

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 07/04/2021 19:27

I’d sell them both or keep yours.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 07/04/2021 19:28

Seen your update. Yes I see what you mean about the mileage. I love Peugeots. I’d sell them both though. Start afresh with a bike chosen by him and a cat chosen by you.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 07/04/2021 19:29

I thought Kias were much better than Peogeots and keep going for longer?

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 07/04/2021 19:32

I get it, I felt really sad when I traded in my first car, despite the fact I'd driven him like a tank and he was basically falling apart. But he'd been a long-serving and faithful steed, and I felt like I was betraying him.

The salesman promised me he'd go to a "nice retirement home." We both knew he would be broken up for parts, but it made me feel better!

Jumpers268 · 07/04/2021 19:34

Oh I almost felt like I was having to sell my car then. I love my car. Love it. It's nothing special and has over 100k mileage but I love it. I'd sooner sell my OH than my car 😉.

Ylvamoon · 07/04/2021 19:40

I know how you feel. I had the most beautiful boy racer car and swapped it for a tank one of thouse 7 seater things. 3 kids and 2 dogs just wouldn't fit otherwise!

I still remember the last dive I had and I'm still cross with DH for making me sell it he only had a van through work at the time

Make the most of the time you have left! 🎭

Original poster
IliveonCoffee · 07/04/2021 19:40

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

Seen your update. Yes I see what you mean about the mileage. I love Peugeots. I’d sell them both though. Start afresh with a bike chosen by him and a cat chosen by you.
Oh we are already planning another cat....but I'm not sure I should sell my car to get one GrinGrinGrin

Don't worry, he hasn't talked me into it. It's been a joint decision! After much discussion its the best option but now we're actually doing it...its sad seeing my car go.

Tbh there isn't anything else that would take my fancy...It would just be a new car for the sake of it. There's nothing wrong with his, and I'm not sure we'd get anything any better for the money, other than to say I chose it. I think I need a mindset shift...and decide to "choose" his. might go buy some garish accessories, and transfer all my junk into it to make my mark.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 07/04/2021 19:42

I've kept 2 cars because I couldn't bear to part with my first dream car - BMW. I overlapped them by 6 weeks until I was ready to let it go. I still cried handing over the keys. I had so much fun and made so many memories in that car. Was only looking at photos of it yesterday

PoTheDog · 07/04/2021 19:42

Kia will almost certainly last a lot longer than the Peugeot.

Plus, if you sell the "better" car, will you get more money? Which might help, if you are selling for financial reasons?

SarahBellam · 07/04/2021 19:47

@PoTheDog

Kia will almost certainly last a lot longer than the Peugeot.

Plus, if you sell the "better" car, will you get more money? Which might help, if you are selling for financial reasons?

Second this. You get more money for the Peugeot, the Kia will run for years as long as it’s serviced regularly and is likely more economical to boot. It’s a no brainer really.
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