Blending within an area- just doesn't work

[Justaonetimeting]

I live in an area of a big city which for many years was a poorer part of the city. It was also home to mostly people of Caribbean descent, people of Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani descent and working class white British people. Over the last five years lots of 'down from Londoners' and people moving from other parts of the city have moved here as you get more bang for your buck in terms of house and we have some really decent parks.
When I'm in my local park I feel sort of a detachment from the community as I don't really know where I fit in. I'm from the city and working class, my dad is an immigrant but we have no connection to that community and I don't speak the language but part of me feels like the area doesn't really know what it is anymore.
In the park there was a group of local kids, swearing and dropping litter, some Bangladeshi mums with their kids, some young mixed race teens playing basketball and some loud MC people talking about their preconceived ideas about the area being full of 'scum' before they realised it was actually 'quite nice' and 'so cheap!'
I can't figure out how the area will ever function together. How it will 'blend'? Are Hugo and Nancy's kid going to bring Umaka round for tea, or Harper Lee or will they navigate towards another Iris? Will Hugo and Nancy be dismayed at their child's prospects when they get to secondary and leave the area all together? Or will we all stick to our separate parts of the park forever? And is that actually ok?
I've always wanted a more diverse group of friends but now I see that's artificial. You are friends with those that you meet in life and gel with. I am friends with different types of people because we have met organically so is it artificial to expect people to mix just because they live in the same postcode? The same street?

There were lots of points of difference. For instance “Mums” will be a separate group to “couples”. Perhaps another day if you were there on your own one of those mums might want to chat.

I do think yiu are making a lot of assumptions and generalisations about people. For example assuming all the down from londoers (whatever yiu mean by that) are the same. As well as assuming all the people from each ethnic group are the same.

They will mix at primary school but then be sent off to board if upper middle class. If middle class then probably won’t mix. As previous poster has said religion will play a bigger part. I’d love to know where in London?

In the park there was a group of local kids, swearing and dropping litter, some Bangladeshi mums with their kids, some young mixed race teens playing basketball and some loud MC people talking about their preconceived ideas about the area being full of 'scum' before they realised it was actually 'quite nice' and 'so cheap!'

Once again, there's Bangladeshi mums and mixed race. Then there's MC people (I assume you mean white people). Others are just their colour and ethnicity, innit.

The British MC need to stop obsessing about ‘good schools’, which is as much about social class as exam results.

I’m now no longer living in the Uk, and DS goes to an inner-city school which is a genuine melting pot, ethnically and socially — the kids in his class have Nigerian, Polish, Bosnian, Rwandan, Canadian, English etc heritage, and the parents of his friendship group include a hospital cleaner, two architects, a CEO, a hotel housekeeper and a post-office worker.

In our school (and area) it’s extremely multicultural. Everyone seems to get on and kids mix fine.

However closer friendship groups between adults tend to be amongst people of the same languages, nationalities and religion.

This I think is absolutely normal as people have things in common, or it’s easier to converse etc..

Umaka is the love child of Hugo and Annamarta. Hugo is unaware of this, he’s also unaware Nancy and Annamarta have been watching Killing Eve are out to get Hugo.
However, Hugo has watched Mr and Mrs Smith and wants to get Nancy out if his life because he’s in love with Sally, the schools year 3 teacher

What a ridiculous post!

I grew up in a slightly posher area of a working class town. There was no mixing between the "back streets" and the "main road". No "heritages" involved - the entire area was 100% white. Then they built a spanky new set of apartment blocks that largely went to even better off "whites". A third group that refused to "blend".

40 years later and they're all just people earning a living and getting by.

People in a community eventually find commonality or they move on. Doesn't happen overnight, but it always happens eventually.

40 years later and

@Constance11

OP you are most definitely part of the problem, you seem to be fixated on people's differences and how comes only the white people get to be 'British' and everyone is of xxx descent?

I couldn't have put it better myself.

We need to catch ourselves when we feel like this. We live in a sort transitional world where the values our parents and grandparents were brought up with just don't make sense anymore. But to continue the conversation making all of these groups the "other", alongside "white British", doesn't help.

Adults with fixed views are the problem.

Their children will all go to the same school (unless the wealthy parents want to avoid their children mixing with the locals and send them private) and will make friends with the same interests regardless of the colour of their skin, their religion, their parents' jobs, the house they live in ...

OP - why do you need to work out how you fit in? If you're a parent you'll naturally meet other parents at nursery/school/baby groups/park. If you work, you'll meet colleagues who do the same job. If you have a hobby, you'll meet those who enjoy the same hobby. If you live in a house, you'll meet your neighbours, if only to say hello and make small talk about the weather. Surely you'll make friends depending on whether you like those people or not?

Twenty years ago I lived in Spitalifields in London, an area with great pubs, interesting restaurants and a really diverse community. Okay, it was rough

Twenty years ago, I used to live very near Spitalfields, and I don't think it was rough. It was up-and-coming even then.

@bookworm1632

What a ridiculous post!

I grew up in a slightly posher area of a working class town. There was no mixing between the "back streets" and the "main road". No "heritages" involved - the entire area was 100% white. Then they built a spanky new set of apartment blocks that largely went to even better off "whites". A third group that refused to "blend".

40 years later and they're all just people earning a living and getting by.

People in a community eventually find commonality or they move on. Doesn't happen overnight, but it always happens eventually.

40 years later and

Shh! It's "the whites" against "others", not "whites" against "whites". That's not the story we want to hear!

@Constance11

OP you are most definitely part of the problem, you seem to be fixated on people's differences and how comes only the white people get to be 'British' and everyone is of xxx descent?

That's what happens when people SEEEE COLOUUURR - they can't get past it.

Im baffled by people saying "this didnt happen".

Ive been in parks and witnessed exactly this - two particular parks (in the same city) that I can think of.

Ive been in parks and witnessed exactly this - two particular parks (in the same city) that I can think of

What, people who are immediately identifiable as middle class loudly making comments that sound like they came from the stupid person’s book of stereotypes.

In the park there was a group of local kids, swearing and dropping litter, some Bangladeshi mums with their kids, some young mixed race teens playing basketball

Why could the Bangladeshi people or the mixed race teens have been local? Do you just mean they werent white. ?

You can still be local and speak a different language, many multilingual households do this. Locally.

When I was teacher training I was told instead of saying "you're silly/annoying/daft" you should say "your behaviour is silly/annoying/daft". It's less offensive that way.

And on a similar note, OP your attitude seems quite racist

Where I live (suburban London) I’d say there’s pretty good mixing of people from mostly white and Indian backgrounds. Fewer black people here. It’s a pretty middle class area (all ethnicities) due to property prices and not much social housing. For clarity I am white British myself and so are my husband and children.

If you visited our local parks you’d see mixed groups and groups that were more white dominated or more Asian dominated. I have a mix of friends but I do notice some of my white friends have mostly white other friends so perhaps not as mixed as I think.

State schools are fairly mixed ethically and private schools are more Asian. I do notice a lot of people send their children out of London to Home Counties grammar schools if they can (all ethnicities).

I am not sure where you are where people come ‘down from London’ but it seems a bit different here.

Oh and I cannot imagine overhearing a conversation where anyone referred to other people as ‘pond scum’.

It was pretty mixed where I lived but I experienced first hand that Asian parents (different religions) seemed wary about letting their kids play at friends houses, refused party invites etc, I know from speaking to their mums that prefer their kids to hang out with extended family

Well I’ve lived in the same house for almost 5 years and I kid you not, I couldn’t tell you who the woman next door is in a live up of similar tall, slim brown haired women.

No one wants to mix here, is out the car head down, in the door and pjs on!

@TableFlowerss

Well I’ve lived in the same house for almost 5 years and I kid you not, I couldn’t tell you who the woman next door is in a live up of similar tall, slim brown haired women.

No one wants to mix here, is out the car head down, in the door and pjs on!

Yeah, but you're doing Not Mixing all wrong, you're supposed to go to the park and shout plummily, 'Hullo, Rafe, out to have a dekko at the local pond scum?' while wearing red trousers.

You seem to have a really negative view if middle class people OP. Im going to guess they wouldnt want to mix with you if you're unconsciously displaying this.

@justwaydamin

In the park there was a group of local kids, swearing and dropping litter, some Bangladeshi mums with their kids, some young mixed race teens playing basketball

Why could the Bangladeshi people or the mixed race teens have been local? Do you just mean they werent white. ?

You can still be local and speak a different language, many multilingual households do this. Locally.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Surely everyone there was local? People aren't really travelling out of their local areas much at the moment.

What was it about the Bangladeshi families and the mixed race teenagers that made you think they weren't local, OP?

And doesn't the presence of mixed race people in the area suggest that there is "blending" between people from different ethnic groups?

What do you mean by blending. Do you mean people live their lives and come across people from different back grounds and cultures on a day to day basis. And when they come across people they build relationships with them through things they have in common.

I think that happens in most major cities. I grew up in a working class area of London. I have a lot of friends that have different cultures and different ancestry from me (and friends with the very similar) . We build friendships/ met through school, work, hobbies, neighbourhoods etc. Very different demographic to my mum who grew up in rural Ireland. I don't think I made many friends or blended the community making friends with groups that happened to be in the park. Especially as they seem at all different stages of their lives. Imagine teenagers playing football wanted anything to do with mums no matter where they're from or the ethnicity!