Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibuly lax re night dryness

51 replies

LoudNowSing · 06/04/2021 21:04

Dd has just turned five. She's been out of nappies during the day since she was 2.5, but is still in a pull-up at night. About 3/4 days a week, she's dry in the morning.
I've seen it said on here several times that overnight dryness is hormonal, and that if she doesn't have the whatever hormone, then there's no point in trying to teach her to be dry overnight...but still, she is 5 now. Am I being unreasonably lax in not making more of an effort with her in this regard?

We did try for a bit last summer when she had a run of being dry every morning, and she was fine for about ten days/two weeks, then started wetting the bed every night again. Eventually we caved and reintroduced the pull-up.

Are we doing her a disservice in just waiting for her to be ready, though? She doesn't seem to care either way herself.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 06/04/2021 21:07

I can’t see how you can train a sleeping child.

www.eric.org.uk/ Specialist guidance here.

Original poster
LoudNowSing · 06/04/2021 21:21

Hmm. Answer 7 here does seem to suggest we should be making more of an effort though.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoudNowSing · 06/04/2021 21:21

www.eric.org.uk/potty-training-faqs forgot the link

OP posts:
TiggeryBear · 06/04/2021 21:24

I'm in the same boat. For my sanity (not washing bedsheets every single day) we are sticking with the pull up. I'm about 80% certain that she can remain dry all night & when I've checked her at 6am (Post night shift & before she's awake) she's dry but if I try & wake her or lift her to the toilet she wees instantly in her pull up. It's like she can't figure holding it as she wakes.

ThePlantsitter · 06/04/2021 21:26

I thought you didn't need to worry until they're 7. Can't remember where that info came from though

Original poster
LoudNowSing · 06/04/2021 21:30

@TiggeryBear

I'm in the same boat. For my sanity (not washing bedsheets every single day) we are sticking with the pull up. I'm about 80% certain that she can remain dry all night & when I've checked her at 6am (Post night shift & before she's awake) she's dry but if I try & wake her or lift her to the toilet she wees instantly in her pull up. It's like she can't figure holding it as she wakes.
Same with the sanity. Not just about the washing bedsheets either...if she wets the bed without a nappy, she wakes up i the middle of the night crying, and then none of ys get much sleep after that.
OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/04/2021 21:52

My Ds just one day started to be dry at age 6.5

Florencenotflo · 06/04/2021 22:11

Same here. She cracked day time really quickly at around 2.5. Night time just isn't happening.

She is 5 now and we've tried about 6 or 7 times. Each time just results in Dd waking around 10:30, soaking wet. Change of pj's and bedding (if it's got through or round the disposable bed sheet pad). Then again at 2 or 3am. Which also wakes dd2. Another set of pj's and bedding. Then around an hour for me to settle dd2 back to sleep. Then they both wake just after 5am.

Plus each time Dd wakes up wet, she gets upset and is disappointed each time. I haven't tried since the end of last summer. Once the weather is better regularly I will try again. At least I can dry sheets easier when the weather is good.

TheLongDark · 06/04/2021 22:33

How much liquids are you giving around bedtime? For me that was key, no restrictions on fluids all day but at supper time just a small glass of milk or water. I'd be waking up bursting for a pee if I had a big cup of water/milk/whatever right before bed so I figure kids are the same, and less in tune with the 'bladder full' signal while asleep. By 3.5 yrs old the only time mine wet the bed was if they'd had a lot to drink after about 6pm.

PenguinLove1 · 06/04/2021 22:36

I was the same with my son, he was in a pull up untill 5.5 and it was still sometimes wet, one day. I decided to get rid of it, and he has been dry every day since - im convinced he was only wet sometimes as he knew he had a pull up on!

Littlebluebird123 · 06/04/2021 22:37

My eldest was dry day and night from 3. Started school just before she turned five and started bed wetting. She was so tired she was sleeping through. No pull ups meant that she would often wake up in a cold wet bed and her skin began to break down. Pull ups were a life saver.
When she was six it still hadn't stopped so we contacted school nurse service who referred us to emenurensis (sp?) service. They gave us lots of advice and tips, including making sure she was drinking enough. We also bought an alarm. Both of those together cracked it. They said it was very common at that age and sometimes it hormone related, sometimes it's not drinking enough and sometimes too tired.
It may be something you can work on but equally,may be something she will outgrow.

WoolieLiberal · 06/04/2021 23:50

You’re not lax at all. A significant proportion of kids are not dry at night at 5.

I was a bed wetter at a time when many kids were given a hard time for it or even punished. I’m glad my parents just let me wear giant sized nappies as it meant I got a good nights sleep and wasn’t traumatised by the experience. Try giving up cordials though. It might be your miracle cure as it was for
My DDs!

DramaAlpaca · 07/04/2021 00:03

Five is still really young. Being dry at night is controlled by hormones and there's no point in intervening at this age. Two of mine (both boys) weren't reliably dry until 8 or 9. The youngest was dry day and night at the same time. Children vary a lot.

If I were you, I'd keep her in a pull-up for a while longer. She'll get there.

Claireshh · 07/04/2021 00:23

My son is ten next month and has only managed to be dry at night in the last two weeks. He had various investigations when he was younger including various medications but nothing worked. Last August we consulted with a specialist (via Zoom).

His advice was
Large amount of water each day
Aim for 7 wees during the day
Take him for a wee when we go to bed
No drinks after dinner
We also realised ourselves that eating close to bedtime made him wee.

He is over the moon. We have been consistent with the above since August so it hasn’t been a quick fix but I don’t care. I’m just chuffed for him that he is dry.

AmyandPhilipfan · 07/04/2021 01:32

My almost 4 year old still has a pull up on for bed and I have no plans to stop. Some nights she wakes up dry but others it’s very wet. My mum said I was about 5 when I stopped wetting so I’m really not bothered. My foster son came to me at 6 and wet about 3 times a week. It got gradually better until it would be about once in 3 months and now that he’s 13 I can’t remember the last time he wet - probably when he was about 10.

I once helped at a holiday camp type thing for kids aged 8-9 and out of every 10 kids there was probably 1 who either still wore a pull up or we were warned to make sure they went to the loo last thing or they might wet. As far as I know it’s considered quite normal until kids are about 10.

ivfbeenbusy · 07/04/2021 05:33

We did try for a bit

This doesn't sound like you've made a sustained effort though?

Your post mentions that a specific hormone controls night dryness and if she doesn't have it then there "is no point" .....but you don't know if she does or doesn't and your post comes across like you are using this an excuse (you've probably not meant for it to read that way but it does) .....the fact she is dry 3-4 nights per week suggests it's not her that has the issue ......

Original poster
LoudNowSing · 07/04/2021 06:05

@ivfbeenbusy

We did try for a bit

This doesn't sound like you've made a sustained effort though?

Your post mentions that a specific hormone controls night dryness and if she doesn't have it then there "is no point" .....but you don't know if she does or doesn't and your post comes across like you are using this an excuse (you've probably not meant for it to read that way but it does) .....the fact she is dry 3-4 nights per week suggests it's not her that has the issue ......

You're saying this as if it's some big ah-ha, but that is literally the question my OP is asking. Hmm
OP posts:
Original poster
LoudNowSing · 07/04/2021 06:17

Anyway, thanks for the replies.

She's definitely not drinking enough at school, especially during the summer (we're not in the UK), and we've said it to her loads of times, but she still comes home really thirsty.
I've thought about mentioning it to her teacher and/or TA, but they have twenty kids to supervise, so it seems a but much to ask them to ensure this one child is drinking enough.

OP posts:
ivfbeenbusy · 07/04/2021 06:26

Ok then in answer to your OP then yes you are doing her a disservice not to have tried consistent and sustained methods

Robostripes · 07/04/2021 06:47

My DS has just turned 5 and has never had a dry night. We have just started taking some steps to look at it as although he’s happy to wear a nappy still he was starting to leak through it almost every night.

We’re now limiting drinks after 6 (which he finds very hard as he guzzles water normally) and taking him for a wee when we go to bed. We’ve only been doing this for a week but even then his nappy is still a bit wet in the morning - a lot less so and no more leaks.

I’m not too concerned about it, it will come eventually and he’s not fussed about it yet. DH recalls that he wet the bed until he was 11 or so, and I’ve read it can run in families.

ExtraOnions · 07/04/2021 06:52

My daughter was the same. She took Desmopressin (to replace the missing hormone) until she was about 12. I was a bed wetter until about the same age, it was horribly embarrassing, I wish my parents had taken me to the doctors.

Sully84 · 07/04/2021 06:54

My child had this issue. I did ask Health Visitors and got different responses depending who I spoke to (I.e one felt intervene from 6, the other said leave it until 7 onwards). We did everything the guides said, the issue we had is my child would sleep through it so would lay in sometimes massive wet puddles until she woke up in the morning.
Once she mentioned it to other kids at school (wearing pull ups) and they laughed at her we decided to get a bed wetting alarm and for us it was a life saver, she was dry within two weeks and hasn’t had an accident since. It was tough getting up each night that the alarm went off but worth it.

MotorwayDiva · 07/04/2021 06:56

DD was over five before it just clicked and we got rid of night pull ups. I wouldn't worry too much yet

Iggly · 07/04/2021 07:02

Well if I don’t want to wee in the night, I have to go to the loo before bed and avoid certain drinks after a certain point. Same for my dcs. So it’s not all hormones.

We adapted by doubling up the bed sheets to make nights easier, and I would lift the dcs at around 10pm for a sleepy wee.

When the dcs were exhausted eg after being back at school etc, they would have an accident. After a time, they could take themselves to the loo.

In my view, it’s both the hormone and learning that if you do need a wee, you wake up and go. But I’m not a scientist!

toomuchfaster · 07/04/2021 07:06

DD is yr 2 so friends are 6, turning 7 this year. She has been dry since 6.5 but has several friends that are still in pull ups overnight. It is hormonal and can't be taught, although there are tips that will help. Lifting them when you go to bed is not recommended as it is simply training the bladder it will be emptied at that point. Check out the NHS guidance, GP in this area wasn't interested before 7 and said she needed to be 9 before they could help.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.