To be upset at the GPs comment

[Element4056]

A month ago I noticed a rash forming on my now 17 week old son's forehead. I applied organic coconut oil twice daily to see if it would help. After a few days of this it hadn't cleared, so I called my GP.
GP asked me to bring my son in and after checking him over, prescribed some cream to apply for a week. After a week I noticed that the rash hasn't cleared and in fact spread down his face and across his cheeks. I called and spoke a different GP, and again was prescribed different cream to apply for a week.
Yesterday I noticed that he has a rash all over his back. Clusters of this and different to the rash on his face. I also noticed a rash on his stomach. This morning I called the GP and also mentioned that my son is restless when feeding (he is EBF). We have had issues with feeding for the last two weeks of which I have been in touch with my health visitor. GP asked to bring him in.
My husband went in to see the GP with my son and the GP made a comment towards the end that I feel was unfair. He told my husband in an annoyed voice that he has seen our son plenty of times in such a short time. Suggested that I called often about him. My husband commented that as a new mother I do worry about our son.
I feel really annoyed the GP commented this. As though I've been ringing in for a common cold or a sniffle! I've been made to feel like I shouldn't be calling in and I'm wasting their time.
Any parent with unexplained rashes on their 4 month old would also call their GP for advice. Especially rashes all his back, stomach and face.
Sorry for the rant. It has made me upset and questioning myself.

I think with the “restless when feeding” issues over the last couple of weeks feeding, and thr rash I suspect it’s an intolerance to breast milk. Which could be something thr op is eating, it’s likely dairy related, but could be nuts, or something else, the only way to work out what it is is for the op to start doing exclusions and see if it helps her baby or move to formula that is suitable

Op have you googled cmpa?

Surely if the doctor actually diagnosed what the problem was in the first place and prescribed something to get rid of the rash you wouldn’t have needed multiple appointments

I always find you need to go the doctors 3 or 4 times at least before they take you seriously.

I have had 3 appointments about a painful rash I developed on my face, 3 lots of prescriptions of useless cream ending up in A&E because of the pain. I looked like a burns victim before I was given what I needed to get the problem under control.

I would be worried if your baby was not feeding, looked unwell, had other symptoms inc high temp.

Kids do get unexplained rashes.
It's hard to advise without knowing the tone the GP used. It is perfectly normal of a GP to discuss first time parents being more anxious with multiple visits in a short period of time - basically checking in on the parent's wellbeing.

Unless it was said aggressively, I would prob not raise a complaint but ask to give "feedback" about the comment to make the GP aware of the impact and also to ensure the practice can build a picture if it is a recurring theme.

Ignore the advice to complain.

New mums are anxious and it is usual for people to take their newborn to the GP. However, of course there will be times when a parent might be overly anxious and go very frequently. When that happens, a GP needs to gently voice it and reassure a parent about the issue even if it’s ongoing. It isn’t wrong to do this. Of course tone is everything g and we don’t know the tone used and neither does OP as she wasn’t there to hear it.

In reality, OP might well be hyper-sensitive....it’s not unusual with a newborn. Feeling worried is totally normal and going to the GP, sometimes several times for the same thing is fine. You do have to go with your instinct, but also it’s right to listen to the professional and it isn’t a personal attack to comment that someone has been very frequently wily for an issue...it might well be said to reassure them and try to help them not worry.

People are too quick to be critical of the GP.

Op, hopefully you feel a bit reassured about the rash now. If you feel worried about other things, absolutely contact the GP again....they did not say (according to your report) that you are a nuisance or that you shouldn’t go to see them. They made a seemingly factually accurate comment that you have been in touch a number of times about this particular issue. It doesn’t sound like it was a critisicm of you at all. In fact as the comment was made to your DH, quite likely the GP made it as a comment to your DH and did not particularly intend it to be reported back. We don’t know the context, but perhaps the GP has seen you are pretty anxious and was making a comment about that to your DH...not as a criticism at all, but an observation. Or perhaps the GP was simply pointing out to your DH, in case he wasn’t aware that the baby has been brought in several times already about the rash. As the GP hadn’t seen DH before, he couldn’t assume DH knew what had passed. There are all kinds of possibilities and the comment was made in the context of an appointment with DH not Op and what GP might have said to OP directly might have differed a little.

Anyway, don’t dwell on this. Honestly it’s a nothing issue. You can build it into something bigger than it is and fret and worrry and decide you don’t like the GP or build a whole story of what the GP thinks of you, or just move on from it. Acknowledge you are tired and possibly a little sensitive which is entirely normal and carry on doing the great job you are caring for your DC.

I think the gps response is not typical of most gps. In our experience they would rather see and check a baby/toddler.

When my son was 18 months he had a cough he couldn't shift and we saw a gp twice in 10 days and their view was they wanted to check it was just a cough (pre covid).

@Bluntness100

I think with the “restless when feeding” issues over the last couple of weeks feeding, and thr rash I suspect it’s an intolerance to breast milk. Which could be something thr op is eating, it’s likely dairy related, but could be nuts, or something else, the only way to work out what it is is for the op to start doing exclusions and see if it helps her baby or move to formula that is suitable

Op have you googled cmpa?

Unlikely given he's 17 weeks old and the issues have only started in the last two weeks.

Depends on the specific issue with feeding, but problems can occur for all sorts of reasons- feeding position needing adjusting as baby gets bigger, baby getting distracted and fussy because they're now older and more interested in what's going on around them, pain from teething resulting in them asking to suckle as pain relief but then getting distressed when they get milk alongside that relief...

Best bet is to speak to someone IRL about the specific issue.

Ignore the comment from the gp. If you feel you need your dc needs to be seen, it’s better to get them checked.

My dd was also ebf and would randomly end up in rashes all over. The gp thought it was triggered by something in my diet. Turned out every time I ate strawberries, dd would get a rash. It took us a good few months to work it out. She was allergic to them until she was around 4 years old, then she grew out of it. The gp told us it’s very common

New mums are anxious and it is usual for people to take their newborn to the GP. However, of course there will be times when a parent might be overly anxious and go very frequently. When that happens, a GP needs to gently voice it and reassure a parent about the issue even if it’s ongoing. It isn’t wrong to do this.

I'd have had to go to GP much less frequently with small DC if they hadn't dimissed concerns so frequently as anxious mother before dealing with the actual problem.

Even with a teen from asthamtic family displaying symptoms - I take her get brushed off again one trip with DH and suddenly it's well we must investigate.

I think OP you do get a thicker skin as time goes on - if you're worried it's worth getting things checked especially as very young children can go downhill fast and most GPs are fine with that.

You do realise just because someone is married doesn't give them instant access to know about the other person medically, right?

*Not being rude but I've worked with patients and I couldn't tell them when their husbands/wife's appointment was without the husband/wife confirming this is okay because of GDPR. Sounds silly when said out loud but because of things like DV, abuse we just couldn't do it.

So I don't think the GP should've shared she was anxious tbh

  If you read the OP, the GP 's comment was not about the mother, they   informed the dad   "I have seen the child plenty of times in a short time ".  Perfectly legitimate when speaking to  the parent presenting it that day.

I did try a food diary with DS - when he was just breast feeding- but never found a trigger in my diet but with DD1 during weaning it was very useful and helped find a few trigger foods which she was fine with at older age.

I wonder if GP was trying to open up discussion with your DH on you, your MH. I don't mean to walk out the 1950s but the GP maybe though it was unusual for the Dad to accompany the baby.

PND does exist, GPs get slated for not spotting it, it has to be worse in a pandemic without baby groups etc to provide peer support.

Don't get defensive about him asking.

New mums are anxious and it is usual for people to take their newborn to the GP. However, of course there will be times when a parent might be overly anxious and go very frequently.

Yeah they made me feel like that when my sons face was leaking (!!!), and I kept taking him back because he was waking every 45 minutes.

According to them there was nothing more concerning than eczema, have some steroid cream (5th time).

He was actually uncomfortable/in pain from digesting things that he was intolerant to, even when I brought that up they didn’t give it the time of day. Said that what he was experiencing was normal

A mother may be overly anxious but they also know their child best and when something isn’t right.

I remember my old GP who had been around forever and who was so lovely saying to me that he never minded looking at children when their parents were worried about them. He said parents often noticed important things and he would rather look than miss something. He was so different to most doctors now. I can also remember him using an old fashioned sort of ear trumpet thing to listen to my baby when I was pregnant!

Please never question yourself about your child's health, you have done the right thing and should trust your gut next time something happens

YANBU I sometimes felt as though I was wasting their time when I worried about my baby DC but was pretty much always told it's better to be safe than sorry.

I’d be furious about this and look for a new GP. A GP should be someone you can trust. Like any profession, there are good ones and bad ones. My GP would never comment about me behind my back to my husband like that.

Also OP, you’ve done exactly the right thing getting your baby seen rather than google guessing or asking for medical advice over MN!

Whatever you do, don't let the prat of a GP put you off contacting the GP surgery whenever you need to. But request a different GP where possible as that one sounds like an arse.

Another one saying to think about potential allergies. When my DS was 14 weeks he started having mucus like stools and developed eczema. Turned out to be a soya and dairy allergy. He’s also breastfed.

Doctor told my mum that I would grow out of cradle cap. I still have it or something that looks like it in my 50s. Only just getting an allergy test.

Why didn’t you take the baby to see the GP?

My husband commented that as a new mother I do worry about our son.

I'd be more annoyed with your husband, TBH. He's just minimised everything you've done and sided with the GP, despite sharing the same view as you.

The correct response would have been 'You've seen him a lot of times because we still haven't worked out what's causing this rash. @Element4056 and I have both been worried about it given it's not clearing up.'

@Feelinghothothottoday

Why didn’t you take the baby to see the GP?

She was at home drinking vodka through her eyeballs and raffling the baby to the highest bidder

You did the right thing in trying to sort it for yourself and then asking for advice from GP. Don't ever be dissuaded from seeking medical help if you think there is a problem.

I think tone is irrelevant: what your GP said was unprofessional on a
few levels. Furthermore, if he'd seen your child several times, he should be asking you about peripheral factors like your diet, lifestyle, etc to get to the bottom of this, or at least referring you to HV for more support with this.

Personally, that would be a complaint to the Practice Manager for me. Huge efforts are made to promote breastfeeding and child health where we live and although I have no problem ignoring a poor GP, other new mums might not be so confident.

GP is a nob
Re: skin problems - sounds like my son- tried all sorts from the doctor but child’s farm nappy cream cleared his up in a couple of days!