To be upset at the GPs comment

[Element4056]

A month ago I noticed a rash forming on my now 17 week old son's forehead. I applied organic coconut oil twice daily to see if it would help. After a few days of this it hadn't cleared, so I called my GP.
GP asked me to bring my son in and after checking him over, prescribed some cream to apply for a week. After a week I noticed that the rash hasn't cleared and in fact spread down his face and across his cheeks. I called and spoke a different GP, and again was prescribed different cream to apply for a week.
Yesterday I noticed that he has a rash all over his back. Clusters of this and different to the rash on his face. I also noticed a rash on his stomach. This morning I called the GP and also mentioned that my son is restless when feeding (he is EBF). We have had issues with feeding for the last two weeks of which I have been in touch with my health visitor. GP asked to bring him in.
My husband went in to see the GP with my son and the GP made a comment towards the end that I feel was unfair. He told my husband in an annoyed voice that he has seen our son plenty of times in such a short time. Suggested that I called often about him. My husband commented that as a new mother I do worry about our son.
I feel really annoyed the GP commented this. As though I've been ringing in for a common cold or a sniffle! I've been made to feel like I shouldn't be calling in and I'm wasting their time.
Any parent with unexplained rashes on their 4 month old would also call their GP for advice. Especially rashes all his back, stomach and face.
Sorry for the rant. It has made me upset and questioning myself.

Not all non-bio washing powders are equal, Fairy in particular does terrible things to my skin!

Of course you did the right thing I’d have done he same

Ignore the GP, and I agree with pp, DH added nothing by telling you.

Stop using coconut oil.

Consider using a bio powder to get clothes properly clean. I still have eczema in adulthood and as is common with sufferers, I have no issue with bio. I have issues if I don't wash at 40 or don't use Ariel. It's normally fragrance people are allergic to rather than enzymes so don't get one like Surf or Bold which are more perfumed.

Yes, both you and your husband should make a formal written complaint to your GP and request they clarify how you should communicate your concerns about your baby so that you are assured treatment that is respectful and proportionate to your concerns.
You are entitled to be treated with dignity and respect and these comments about you to your husband clearly fall far short

IMO, the GP you spoke to was a CF, which is not very reassuring

@Element4056

I also exclusively only use non-bio washing powder for his clothes. I would say my husband is probably more "fussy" than I am to be honest!

But what about your clothes? He could be sensitive to your clothing while being held.

Pharmacist would likely be able to advise you on a rash.

What are his nappies like? If it was something like CMPA causing the rash you would usually (but not always) also have some if the following: digestive discomfort / funny coloured nappies/ congestion / fussiness when feeding /hiccoughs / reflux (this is not an exhaustive list)
If he has any of those as well it might be worth looking up CMPA and paying attention to your diet.
My youngest has CMPA plus other intolerances and I took her to the GP several times. One asked me, ‘is this your first baby’ and sensing I was about to go nuclear my husband said, ‘no, it’s number three and we’d prefer if the symptoms would remain the focus of your consultation’

@Element4056

WTF? How are you meant to get your baby's health problems resolved if you don't consult a doctor? That's what they're there for FFS!

I would be making a complaint about this.

Or at least tell your HUSBAND you are going to, and go through the motions. Some people love to exaggerate, and even LIE, for dramatic affect.

Don't assume your husband is being completely 100% truthful. It may be an edited version of the truth. (Some of what men say is!)

If he IS, then he will fully support you in complaining to the GP practice.

Your GP may have been checking your own mental health and made the comment to see your DH's reaction.
PND sometimes manifests as an extreme anxiety for the baby's health. I remember hiding from the postman when mine was newborn, in case he spread germs to the baby.
I would assume that and not worry about it.

Try changing washing powders to see if it helps. Even the non-bio versions of some brands can cause a problem.
You might also try a plain rinse cycle after the wash and don't use a fabric conditioner.

I was in a very similar situation to you and my gp was lovely.

You were right to call the GP about a persistent, spreading rash on your son. It could have been anything.

Oil of Evening Primrose oil applied to the skin often does the trick with rashes, can clear them up in no time.

@NailsNeedDoing

I’d be more annoyed at your husband for telling you, he had no need to do that when it was going to upset you. You weren’t there to hear the real tone that the doctor used or the exact context, and the doctor might not even have said it if it had been you that took the appointment, so you shouldn’t need to feel upset about such a minor comment.

My husband would have told me that sort of thing because he would have been as unhappy as I would have been and upset by the comment.

I agree with the comments about the coconut oil though, that won't be helping. I also think you should look at your own diet.

wow what an annoying comment, especially as the main reason why GP has seen your baby "so much" is because they havnt sorted the issue! sounds proud and maybe fraitrated at their own imcomptenence/misdiagnosis?

I sometimes feel you have to 'use' GP's as a service and not expect any sort of personal service from them (our surgery is really hard-nosed from the receptionists onwards and I am pathetically grateful whenever we get listened to and try to never use them)

frustrated I mean sorry

Ignore the doctor.

Is there a woman doctor at the practice you could change to?

You could try not eating any dairy yourself. Some people definitely find this helps if their child’s rash is being caused by eczema.

Your GP may well have wondered why it was your DH who brought the baby to the surgery, not you, the anxious mother who often seeks advice. The DR may wonder if you are so anxious you're afraid to go outside the home ; or, are you stuck there because your DH is very controlling. (SOME women suffer those problems).

So very tactfully, the DR lets your DH know that they are aware of your new-mum anxiety levels. It gave your DH an opening to ask for help or advice, or just reassurance that lots of first time mums worry.

Your GP kept your DH in the loop. That was completely the right thing to do for you and your child.

It's reasonable to call a GP about an unexplained rash imo- perhaps if they had looked into the cause you wouldn't have had to keep phoning. Have you spoken to the HV?

My dc had a sudden rash appear all over his body last year, it looked like a heat rash but never went away, the more lotions and steroids creams I got from the drs I put on it , the more it spread! She had no symptoms and it never caused her any grief. I stopped putting anything on it and removed her plastic sheet on her cot and it went pretty quickly , think the plastic sheet under her cotton sheet was causing it. All the creams I got given just seemed to feed it

All GPs I have ever come across rather parents of babies call a few times too many.

Firstly, please always see someone about a rash even if they think you're wasting their time (you're really not!). You done the right thing by your son.

GP's around my area are acting very precious at the moment and not really seeing anyone. Fob people off to the nurses yet a dentist can look in someone's mouth during a pandemic... .

He/she was a complete an utter twat for saying that and was just simply rude. Phone 111 OP if it continues they seem to be more helpful during this pandemic than our local practice.

The GP was out of order. It's his job to deal with patients not alienate them. You were taking care of your son - as any parent would. Please don't let this put you off going to a doctor when needed. Could you find a new surgery? Or find a named doctor you like and always ask for them?

If it's eczema - it will be finding the right cream for your child skin.

Aveeno was DS - and persil non bio washing powder - but getting there was a long process.

I had similar issue with last GP surgery - absolute trial to get any appointments then told off for too early to be seen or seen too much then suddenly wtf haven't you brought them in earlier. Left me very anxious about having anything to do with that GP surgery.

As other people have said, maybe your DH misinterpreted tone? Perhaps GP was subtly trying to imply to DH that you need more support (from DH).

@2bazookas

Your GP may well have wondered why it was your DH who brought the baby to the surgery, not you, the anxious mother who often seeks advice. The DR may wonder if you are so anxious you're afraid to go outside the home ; or, are you stuck there because your DH is very controlling. (SOME women suffer those problems).

So very tactfully, the DR lets your DH know that they are aware of your new-mum anxiety levels. It gave your DH an opening to ask for help or advice, or just reassurance that lots of first time mums worry.

Your GP kept your DH in the loop. That was completely the right thing to do for you and your child.

You do realise just because someone is married doesn't give them instant access to know about the other person medically, right?

Not being rude but I've worked with patients and I couldn't tell them when their husbands/wife's appointment was without the husband/wife confirming this is okay because of GDPR. Sounds silly when said out loud but because of things like DV, abuse we just couldn't do it.

So I don't think the GP should've shared she was anxious tbh.

My son has eczema we use Surcare for washing powder and child’s farm products