To think living within your means has become the exception?

[SmokeyApo]

Hi all, I just wanted to share some observations and hear other people's inputs.

It seems to me that is becoming more and more rare for people to live within their means and try to save a little money for a rainy day. In my circles I know many people on good and even great salaries, that lead seemingly extremely expensive lifestyles and don't save a penny, or even go into debt to afford extravagant holidays or cars.

A good friend of mine is a senior executive in tech, makes an absolute fortune and had to ask around his friends (me included) to borrow money when he bought a house last year, because he couldn't cover the down payment. Another friend of mine got divorced last year, both spouses on really excellent wages, and it turned out that they had almost no assets to share after being married for 15 years because they had spent everything they got.

I am starting to wonder if I live in a bubble of financial irresponsibility or if this phenomenon is widespread. AIBU to think that saving and being mindful with money has become the exception rather than the rule?

"I don’t think you got my point. I will spend anything with friends if it’s an experience I think worthwhile - a decent meal, a trip to a spa, whatever. But To me, coffee isn’t! In my first post I said if it is worth it to you, go for it 👍"

I got you, but I still think people who won't go for a coffee with friend, when they can afford it, are miserable.

I understand the wish to have contact time with friends, but I still don't want to spend a lot on over-priced gash coffee (or tea) to make an excuse to get together.

A great cup of coffee is worth it though. But it needs to be great coffee, well beyond a Nespresso (I have one at home, thanks) and better made than I can.

@Gwenhwyfar

"I don’t think you got my point. I will spend anything with friends if it’s an experience I think worthwhile - a decent meal, a trip to a spa, whatever. But To me, coffee isn’t! In my first post I said if it is worth it to you, go for it 👍"

I got you, but I still think people who won't go for a coffee with friend, when they can afford it, are miserable.

I've never met anyone quite as obsessed with coffee as you are 😂

Ok, I'll buy a tea and a slice of cake if you insist.

I think it's a combination of many factors, greed entitlement upbringing listening to the Jones's/ plain stupidly. If you don't have a minimum 3 months Bill money to tide you over you're screwed. You can't have all these "experiences , holidays and lifestyle if you want to get in the property ladder! Get a grip!

life expectancy might go up again, unless made worse by a recession

Imminently I suspect life expectancy will go down with so much undiagnosed disease. In the medium term I think the government will have to look at voluntary euthanasia again. Most people don’t want to live for years with no quality of life. I certainly don’t.

I'm getting to the age /health status of being afraid- seriously of becoming a burden to my adult children whom I love dearly. Whilst
euthanasia goes against many of my beliefs.. for my mortal soul do I have to do my damndest to strive to be independent
God forgive me if I fail the battle and cause them them the caring heartache I've experienced
over decades. We all wish better for our children .

@thirstyformore

We spend a lot. Only realised this last year exactly how much money we must have spent previously on holidays, food, shopping, nights out etc. With the money we've saved we've changed the carpets upstairs, replaced all our windows and doors and replaced the main bathroom!!

I don't worry about having much money saved for a rainy day as we don't have debt and have quite a bit of equity in our house, so could access that if needs be.

And then how would you repay that?

I always worry that I might get made redundant or something so I've tried not to increase my spending as my pay has improved. I'm a bit paranoid about it tbh.

Also not having enough money when I'm old....I worry about there being no state pension by then too.

People are encouraged to take on a lot of debt and the values around that are quite different than they were a few generations ago.

I used to belong to a women's social group where at about 30 I was one of the youngest. One of the older ladies one day told a story about how she'd been so embarrassed, she'd forgotten to pay of her credit card in full that month, something that had never happened before. I told her the company was probably pleased as punch that they had finally made some money off of her! That was a common attitude in that generation, very few things were bought on longer term credit, people didn't carry a balance, you lived within your means and saved. A mortgage was about the only exception.

It's easy enough to see why society encourages a different approach now, when you think about where the interest goes. But it's unstable and that's a real flaw. (Apart from the fact that it funnels money to the already-rich.)

@SmokedDuck

People are encouraged to take on a lot of debt and the values around that are quite different than they were a few generations ago.

I used to belong to a women's social group where at about 30 I was one of the youngest. One of the older ladies one day told a story about how she'd been so embarrassed, she'd forgotten to pay of her credit card in full that month, something that had never happened before. I told her the company was probably pleased as punch that they had finally made some money off of her! That was a common attitude in that generation, very few things were bought on longer term credit, people didn't carry a balance, you lived within your means and saved. A mortgage was about the only exception.

It's easy enough to see why society encourages a different approach now, when you think about where the interest goes. But it's unstable and that's a real flaw. (Apart from the fact that it funnels money to the already-rich.)

Credit card issuers make money on every transaction, not just from interest charges.

The biggest issue is that short term, quick disposable items have become part of everyday life.
Whats the best way to make money? -have people coming back for those daily " disposable" items such as coffee, lunches, fast food.
Hook people with " rewards" such as names on cups ( yes its a small psychological boost) or reward cards or making the food addictive , high sugar, fat, carbs.
Fine if that how you prefer to spend your money, totally up to you.
Those of us who dont arent miserable at all.
We just dont view these things as a necessity.
I walk past 5 coffee outlets on my way to work, arrive, flick the kettle on and make a coffee, lunch is a salad and chopped fruit Ive made at home.
Im not pushed for time at all so its not convenient for me to pick things up on the way to work but I get that for someone who has dropped 3 children off at school as is off to a meeting, that coffee and lunch are a life saver.
I think those who spend a lot on these things like to make out those of us who dont are miserable penny pinchers who are missing out .

Putting people's names on coffee cups isn't a reward, is it? Surely not? It's because shouting 'Jane' or 'Fred' is easier than 'Grande soy caramel latte'

Most people find it embarrassing and intrusive, especially if you have an unusual name or one that's hard to spell.

But I've actually tried to buy more coffee out, to support small businesses see what I'm missing and I usually find all the queuing and waiting a faff not a treat and now COVID has wiped out all the good work that was done with reusable cups, there's the paper cup guilt.

@BarbaraofSeville

Putting people's names on coffee cups isn't a reward, is it? Surely not? It's because shouting 'Jane' or 'Fred' is easier than 'Grande soy caramel latte'

Most people find it embarrassing and intrusive, especially if you have an unusual name or one that's hard to spell.

But I've actually tried to buy more coffee out, to support small businesses see what I'm missing and I usually find all the queuing and waiting a faff not a treat and now COVID has wiped out all the good work that was done with reusable cups, there's the paper cup guilt.

I read an article where the research found it gives a buzz, a serotonin hit -will see if I can find it. Yes of course but they could use a number system instead? Not as " hooking"

Everything is disposable these days and that’s a whole different topic. The lobbyists trying to deconstruct the ‘right to repair’ movement and their cronies in international government listening to them are even worse.

@BooomShakeTheRoom has it in a nutshell.

These people on large salaries failed to learn delayed gratification.

Who knows - perhaps thats why they are on large salaries to begin with?

Maybe something psychological/ behaviour trait going on there that this is a useful trait for high salary earning.

It is incredible though. My sister and her partners earn near 150k combined income and yet have no savings to buy a house - late 20s no children.

@TulisaIsBrill

Everything is disposable these days and that’s a whole different topic. The lobbyists trying to deconstruct the ‘right to repair’ movement and their cronies in international government listening to them are even worse.

Why is it a whole different topic? The thread is about spending beyond your means.

[quote LemonSwan]@BooomShakeTheRoom has it in a nutshell.

These people on large salaries failed to learn delayed gratification.

Who knows - perhaps thats why they are on large salaries to begin with?

Maybe something psychological/ behaviour trait going on there that this is a useful trait for high salary earning.

It is incredible though. My sister and her partners earn near 150k combined income and yet have no savings to buy a house - late 20s no children.[/quote]
I agree
There is a fatalistic attitude at work though.
Buying a property is exceptionally hard and the attitude from some is " it will never happen so fuck it"
Making it a certainty that it will never happen.

It is incredible though. My sister and her partners earn near 150k combined income and yet have no savings to buy a house - late 20s no children.

@LemonSwan Eh they'll be fine, they have plenty time, especially if they are on such high wages so young. Fair play to them. It sounds like they have their careers sorted!
Myself and my husband partied and travelled throughout our 20's with no real savings other than what we needed for our next big trip but we sorted ourselves out very quickly in our early 30's, bought a house within a year, started pensions, started saving 25-35k a year etc. Unlike your sister we didn't sort out our careers and start earning a high income until we were 29/30.
No regrets on all the money we blew through while enjoying ourselves when we were young! We never borrowed or used credit cards though.

Fizz - so those earning low wages should just stay in expensive areas so that they can work for the rich? If I earned minimum wage I’d move to a cheaper area. Not one where I spent over half my wages just to rent a home.

I like a balance of the two. A lot of people now bank on inheritance to save them! Risky.

@ConsuelaHammock
Cheaper places usually have less job opportunities (even minimum wage), so it's not always a case of moving somewhere else. You also forget that people might have built a life somewhere and don't want to just up and leave. And it's ridiculous that some parts of UK should be rich only.

@ConsuelaHammock

Fizz - so those earning low wages should just stay in expensive areas so that they can work for the rich? If I earned minimum wage I’d move to a cheaper area. Not one where I spent over half my wages just to rent a home.

Trouble is that cheaper areas are often so due to low employment opportunities and commuting costs can be really expensive.

@ConsuelaHammock

Fizz - so those earning low wages should just stay in expensive areas so that they can work for the rich? If I earned minimum wage I’d move to a cheaper area. Not one where I spent over half my wages just to rent a home.

Which cheaper area? Wages will be less. Even in the North it’s not really “cheap” to live as such.