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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to care about getting a virtual egg?

49 replies

Radish21 · 04/04/2021 19:15

Firstly, totally appreciate this is not high up in current day life challenges so please know that I recognise that...

But, AIBU to be a bit peeved that DP gave me a free Cadbury’s online egg hunt, rather than a real life chocolate egg?

As per every year, I made a fuss of the kids with carefully chosen eggs (1 DS + his 2 DD) and bought him carefully chosen chocolate gifts + bought eggs for the nieces (his) and his parents. I even bought the eggs his gorgeous DD used to make us a grown ups Easter egg hunt. He bought me... nothing. He used the Cadbury’s app to do a little egg hunt which took about 2 minutes to both make and solve. I didn’t make any fuss and played along and of course I’m not hugely fussed about extra chocolate (I can buy my own whenever). But when I later jokingly mentioned he was a bit cheeky for not bothering to get me anything, he seemed shocked and felt the free virtual egg hunt was very thoughtful of him.

It’s not a huge deal by any means but AIBU to feel a bit miffed?

OP posts:

steff13 · 04/04/2021 19:20

What does he usually get you? I find doing Easter gifts for adults a bit unnecessary but if you usually do it, then I think he should have gotten you something. Unless you specifically discussed scaling back this year.

mumof2exhausted · 04/04/2021 19:24

I’ve never bought an egg for my husband, just for the kids. Like you said if you want chocolate just go and buy some

HikeForward · 04/04/2021 19:25

Do adults normally give each other eggs and create clue trails? 😮😂

DH and I don’t and nor do any couples I know! When we were first together he’d get me an egg some years but we were 19/20ish! Can’t imagine wanting to hunt for an egg now I’m in my 30s with DC!

Urbacodon · 04/04/2021 19:27

You’re an adult. You shouldn’t need a special Easter gift. Stop buying them for his parents or him and just focus on the kids.

Timeforabiscuit · 04/04/2021 19:28

I like chocolate, and easter is important to me - so I get an egg.

Dh does not like chocolate, or easter, but does like fuss - he had a scotch egg.

If either of us had a virtual anything, words would be had!

Original poster

Radish21 · 04/04/2021 19:29

Normally we all get something but we always then just share them as a family when we eat them. So yes we’d normally get one for each other. I’m not really bothered I didn’t get anything - I enjoy the giving way more than the receiving - it was more the dismissive way he dealt with it that I didn’t like, esp when he’d had zero else to sort. But hey ho.

OP posts:

HunterHearstHelmsley · 04/04/2021 19:29

Sounds like an awful lot of effort. Don't most people just buy for children and themselves?

RefuseTheLies · 04/04/2021 19:30

I bought my own egg with my husband's bank card and informed him of the purchase when I got back from the shop I'd be upset if he missed my birthday, or Christmas but not by him not putting any 'thought' in at Easter - that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Original poster

Radish21 · 04/04/2021 19:34

Ok, am definitely feeling a bit silly now! Maybe I need more (self bought) chocolate! Thanks for the sanity check!

OP posts:

FredaFox · 04/04/2021 19:34

You could also but an egg with the Cadbury thing so you get one delivered when you find your virtual one (not sure whAt the deadline was for delivery but as long as he didn't leave yours till this weekend he definitely could have bought you one )

ilikebungalows · 04/04/2021 19:43

If I was married and didn't get a socking great big Lindt Easter Egg my DH would be sleeping in the shed.

ForgedInFire · 04/04/2021 19:46

We always exchange eggs and I would be bloody annoyed if DP didn't get me one because I don't buy one for myself. Therefore no egg from him means no Easter egg at all. Words would be had!

AuntLucy · 04/04/2021 19:48

I buy at least 12 eggs each year for family (my own kids, my parents, and nieces/nephews, and my husband). I don't think anyone has bought me one since I left home 20 years ago. Every year I think it would be nice if someone did, but they won't, so I plan for this and buy my own. I see it as a consequence of a life with wifework. But my wifework makes the lives of people I love better, so I do it anyway (and then I pinch some of theirs when they leave them unattended 😊)

FightingTheFoo · 04/04/2021 19:48

I don't think you're over reacting. Despite the po-faced majority on this forum, I think a lot of people enjoy celebrating things and making them feel 'special' - this year more than ever, if only to relieve the fucking Groundhog Day feeling - and when you make a fuss and your OH knows that but doesn't make the slightest bit of effort to reciprocate it is definitely hurtful.

But I think you should tell him (calmly) and, next time, be very explicit that you want an egg/flowers/whatever so he doesn't have an excuse.

Did he do anything for you on Mother's Day?

FightingTheFoo · 04/04/2021 19:49

*make a fuss = as in, make a celebration of the day

WallaceinAnderland · 04/04/2021 19:54

We don't buy anything for each other at Easter. DH buys himself an egg if he wants one.

Gerla · 04/04/2021 19:57

Hmmm...we don't buy for each other but I would still be annoyed at getting a virtual egg in place of a real one. Sounds like homework more than a gift.

BabyBooDueNov21 · 04/04/2021 19:58

In your position I'd be a bit miffed I think!

DH and I buy each other a big, sometimes pricey, egg every year it's just nice isn't it? Especially after you've put so much thought into everyone else's eggs, it hardly would've killed him to pick you one up too as a 'thank you for treating me rest of us, here's a little treat for yourself' type of gesture.

BabyBooDueNov21 · 04/04/2021 20:00

*treating the rest of us

Must start proof reading!

BoomBoomsCousin · 04/04/2021 20:00

Like many others on here, I'mI don't exchange easter eggs with adults, including my DH. But we all have different traditions and if it's something where you normally buy each other something then YANBU to think the virtual easter egg hunt seems like he couldn't be bothered.

It is only one small thing though and we all have our off moments. You'd do better to look at the whole picture than read too much into one incident, especially if you don't really care much about the chocolate.

Original poster

Radish21 · 04/04/2021 20:05

I think that’s probably it @FightingTheFoo - I think I probably saw it as an opportunity to give each other a bit boost and feels like I just had one of those awkward missed high five moments. 😂

OP posts:

TheCrowening · 04/04/2021 20:05

I ordered two cheapy eggs for me and my husband in our last Tesco shop but really I don’t see Easter as a thing for adults (I only did it as an excuse to eat chocolate).

fairydustandpixies · 04/04/2021 20:09

Really?? You are how old?? You can buy your own chocolate you know...what a drama over nothing.

Gerla · 04/04/2021 20:10

I think it's definitely the thought that counts - and he didn't really think this through. Related - I buy a few birthday cards throughout the year and keep them in a box to send to relatives. Last year he got my birthday card out of the box and couldn't understand why I wasn't impressed.

Original poster

Radish21 · 04/04/2021 20:15

@fairydustandpixies 😂 where did I say there was a drama? Is there an age limit on Easter eggs?

OP posts:

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