AIBU to care about getting a virtual egg?

[Radish21]

Firstly, totally appreciate this is not high up in current day life challenges so please know that I recognise that...

But, AIBU to be a bit peeved that DP gave me a free Cadbury’s online egg hunt, rather than a real life chocolate egg?

As per every year, I made a fuss of the kids with carefully chosen eggs (1 DS + his 2 DD) and bought him carefully chosen chocolate gifts + bought eggs for the nieces (his) and his parents. I even bought the eggs his gorgeous DD used to make us a grown ups Easter egg hunt. He bought me... nothing. He used the Cadbury’s app to do a little egg hunt which took about 2 minutes to both make and solve. I didn’t make any fuss and played along and of course I’m not hugely fussed about extra chocolate (I can buy my own whenever). But when I later jokingly mentioned he was a bit cheeky for not bothering to get me anything, he seemed shocked and felt the free virtual egg hunt was very thoughtful of him.

It’s not a huge deal by any means but AIBU to feel a bit miffed?

Stop getting eggs for his parents and dd, let him sort it!

@AuntLucy - That’s very true and yes I feel the same too. I love making people feel loved too. The world needs Aunt Lucy’s and I’ll happily try to be one.

OP, the clue here is your repeated use of "carefully chosen" when talking about you buying eggs for the family. For you, that's how you express your love and care for them - you spend a lot of time and energy selecting the thing you think they will like the most.

So when your family don't equate "giving gifts" with "showing someone that I love them" - to them, "giving gifts" is just a tradition, devoid of any deeper meaning. They express their love and care in other ways - with acts of service, or words of love.

It is okay to be a thoughtful gift giver, in fact it's lovely! But you need to accept that others don't give it the same emotional weight.

We don’t buy each other Easter eggs as such but we will mention which ones we want this year and whoever goes shopping will pick them up. So technically this year, he bought me one and I didn’t buy him one. We have a different one we fancy each year so trying to surprise each other would likely end in disaster. To be honest, it nearly ended in disaster this year because I wanted a malteaser one and Tesco had run out of those when DH bought them.

Why are people feigning surprise at adults getting eggs at Easter? Come on now, there’s a whole market for eggs aimed at adults. Always has been. Which means the demand is clearly there.

OP, whether you can buy for yourself is neither here nor there. I could buy my own flowers but it’s lovely when they’re bought for me. I’d be disappointed in his response more than anything.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation - that’s very insightful and very well put. I agree that’s probably it. I demonstrate my love through thoughtful acts and other people show it in other ways. I’ll ponder that while I eat his Lindt bunny later 🙂

I understand where you are coming from... I had a wisdom tooth out and guess what? Yep, no bloody fairy and no money under the pillow.
I know the tooth fairy may not exist and with Covid she probably shouldn't come into the house anyway but I was disappointed.

(but with less teeth than shown here)

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles oh man, I totally would have got you a gift from the tooth fairy! Adulting sucks!

If I were you he’d be getting a voucher for a virtual BJ (or appropriate treat) and see how he liked it...

Wait, what? Do you get an egg after completing the online hunt???

If not I’d tell him to get to fuck for sitting me down to play a children’s game on the computer

An egg sent to you buy Cadbury’s I mean

We just buy our eggs together. No disappointment that way!

I didnt know buying for husbands was a thing.

@AuntLucy nope I’d be calling out the people I had some lovely things over the years and be asking them where my lovely things/thoughts are, too! If you don’t say anything, it carries on. Sometimes I think you need to be clear about your wants and expectations. For me, I want a cup of tea every morning and hugely appreciate that and make my appreciation known. Dp does that for me despite it being a gigantic pain for him. He wants regular physical contact and appreciates that hugely. Neither of us are fussed about ‘occasions’ as we show our appreciation and thought for each other almost every day of the year. Sorry if that’s vomit inducing but it’s true.

@Yapplepearora - no it was just a little map game. @Wormwoodgal - I like your thinking 😂

A virtual egg with no actual chocolate
Ltb

Frankly, yes, I'd be miffed if I'd done everything and he got me nothing-- if it was our tradition to buy things for one another.

Next year, I'd buy something for myself, tucked away where no-one would find it. Whether or not I also got something for him would depend on how I was feeling (and whether I'd forgotten earlier transgressions).

I can’t think of anything worse than having to do a clue trail to find an egg! It takes me long enough to put trails together for DC.

I got no egg either but I didn't expect or want one, is this a thing? Actually me and Dh ended up sharing one because there were multi buy offers on eggs that left one over for us, that was just an unexpected bonus though

We got married in 1992.

Easter morning 1993 I handed H an egg and then revealed that I'd bought myself one too in case he hadn't thought to get anything.

He was offended. Of course he'd bought me an egg! How could I possibly imagine that a man might not buy his wife an Easter egg?!

It’s just chocolate.

Repeat x 5.

I buy all of our eggs, my own included. If I told DH I expected something, he’d get it, but I’m genuinely not bothered. I mostly do it because it’s nice for everyone to have something left from the Easter bunny in the morning.

I think if you expect him to get you an egg, you should talk to him about it.

However, I am married to an engineer so I’m used to needing to articulate exactly what I expect. There’s no assumption of societal norms in this house

See, you sound like you enjoy the whole process. I've never carefully chosen an Easter egg. I just pick whatever looks right from the selection in the supermarket. Not everyone makes a ritual out of these things. However to not buy you actual chocolate on a chocolate holiday (joke, kind of) is a faux pas.

He's probably one of those baby-husbands who will need plenty-of-time-but-not-so-much-time-he-forgets reminders every year. So just do that.