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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Easter eggs- how would you react

456 replies

Oilpyi · 04/04/2021 10:02

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

OP posts:
Harmonypuss · 06/04/2021 05:53

I've not even got to the end of the first page of responses and can't believe how many people don't read the OP properly.

It was clearly stated that a certain amount of chocolate was set out for the children and they were told they could have it, whilst the rest was put away in another room (supposedly safely) but the children just took it upon themselves to go and collect ALL the chocolate and split it between themselves.

Personally, walking back into the room and discovering what they'd done, I'd have taken the whole lot off them, made them clear up the mess and waited a few days before allowing them any chocolate at all and I'd be seriously rationing it.

Yes, it's Easter, yes, they're kids but were they given permission to 'steal' what hadn't been put out specifically for them? No!

I don't care how young or old they are, they need to be taught a lesson otherwise they'll grow up as entitled brats and no-one likes those!

Emma1234567 · 06/04/2021 07:18

Wow, I think you need to relax! If you leave young kids alone with a pile of chocolate I’m not sure what you expected was going to happen?!?! If I had my own egg that I really don’t want the kids to touch I’d put it somewhere they couldn’t get to! They’re not little for long! Let them enjoy and make some happy memories! Maybe even enjoy the eggs with them next year (egg hunt etc) rather than leaving them on a chair while you go and have a shower!

Luddite26 · 06/04/2021 07:25

I don't understand why if the other pile was going to go to a foodbank why you didn't take it last week. People feel bad enough having to go to the food bank without receiving Easter Egg handouts after Easter.
The fact that you and husband had opened a few i feel you sent your kids mixed messages and enabled the wastefulness by more or less saying fill your boots then leaving them too it.
You and husband didn't have Easter Eggs and don't like how your kids behaved with them - well give them a clearer directive or supervise them better.

billy1966 · 06/04/2021 07:42

Haven't read all the responses OP, but I would be seriously unimpressed.

The eggs were in the other room.

Really bratty, deliberate behaviour instigated by your 11 year old.

Sounds like he needs firmer boundaries.

You sound tired.

Take care.
Flowers

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 06/04/2021 08:02

@scubadive

A bit grabby but why were you not with them to enjoy the occasion. Saying the Easter bunny has been to yrs 1-6 and then going for a shower!! Why!! Why would you not want to share in their moment. This is more strange then you expecting primary school children to show restraint.
Well I will probably take the ‘worst mother in the world’ crown, as after being up half the night with my toddler I had a lie in and didn’t get up to see my children find the chocolate the Easter bunny left. DH got up with them. He also did the Easter egg hunt. Surely the initial reaction to the chocolate (which the OP would have seen anyway) is the only bit you need to see anyway?
Januaryissodull · 06/04/2021 08:10

Late to this thread so not sure if op will read this.

But I think that this is one of those situations that makes you cross at the time, but you'll laugh about in years to come.

It is a bit greedy and unpleasant, but it's a learning curve.

I have a dc who is very greedy when it comes to sweet treats and would need telling to only open one at a time. One Christmas years ago he received several advent calendars from family etc. We found out he'd eaten all the chocolates before the dates, AND his younger siblings chocolates. I was so annoyed, but we wind him up about it now.

I think I would have had them clear up the mess and put most of the chocolate away. Then next time made sure they were under strict I truncation as to which ones they were to open. They got overexcited.

Address the other behaviour separately but don't be too hard on yourself, it's been a tough time.

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 08:14

‘ I don't understand why if the other pile was going to go to a foodbank why you didn't take it last week. People feel bad enough having to go to the food bank without receiving Easter Egg handouts after Easter.’

@Luddite26 so you reckon you’d manage to somehow take a load of eggs to the food bank before you unexpectedly received them. Really?

Whilst people have been well meaning in their key worker/ volunteer gifts this year they haven’t been giving it at the beginning of the week giving us plenty of time to redistribute them. Frankly also we’re tired. Maybe we could’ve run around on Saturday and cancelled a family day to seek out an open food bank that could distribute them last minute but it felt unrealistic. I finished at 9pm on Friday!

Very holier than thou, what were you doing to ensure everyone got their Easter in time yourself?

OP posts:
MadameBoulaye · 06/04/2021 08:39

Get over it. Let them have fun and be a bit naughty!! You didn’t pass them on to charity and your instructions weren’t seemingly clear enough. See it through a child’s eyes.

Luddite26 · 06/04/2021 08:42

@Oilpyi

‘ I don't understand why if the other pile was going to go to a foodbank why you didn't take it last week. People feel bad enough having to go to the food bank without receiving Easter Egg handouts after Easter.’

@Luddite26 so you reckon you’d manage to somehow take a load of eggs to the food bank before you unexpectedly received them. Really?

Whilst people have been well meaning in their key worker/ volunteer gifts this year they haven’t been giving it at the beginning of the week giving us plenty of time to redistribute them. Frankly also we’re tired. Maybe we could’ve run around on Saturday and cancelled a family day to seek out an open food bank that could distribute them last minute but it felt unrealistic. I finished at 9pm on Friday!

Very holier than thou, what were you doing to ensure everyone got their Easter in time yourself?

In your first rant you said the boxes of chocolates had been on the side for a few days so i assumed you had time to donate them as you planned before Easter Sunday.

I work 48 hour shifts Friday to Sunday keyworker too so I sorted Easter last week for everyone i needed to.

I am not holier than though i just don't understand why you are moaning on here about your kids eating chocolate in a frenzy. instruct them a bit clearer in future if you want them to understand your intentions.

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 08:52

@Luddite26 ‘In your first rant you said the boxes of chocolates had been on the side for a few days so i assumed you had time to donate them as you planned before Easter Sunday.’

A few days. The post was written on Easter Sunday, so yes exactly as I said. Mainly turning up Thursday/ Friday. A few days does not translate as a whole week of good planning, not a Saturday food bank opening. If they came home from work a few days before, ie Friday, after work, then it’s not rocket science to know that means Saturday is the chance to drop them off.

I’m saying your actual bf holier than thou as you are saying you could have managed all the above. How did your food bank drop go?

I did sort out my kids Easter eggs also in advance.

The issue I’m referring to are the gifted ones.

Anything else you don’t follow?

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 08:59

@scubadive

A bit grabby but why were you not with them to enjoy the occasion. Saying the Easter bunny has been to yrs 1-6 and then going for a shower!! Why!! Why would you not want to share in their moment. This is more strange then you expecting primary school children to show restraint.
Jesus, I could understand this with toddlers seeing the "magic" for the first time, but after a certain point not everything a child does is the sweetest thing in the world. I can't say emotions would really be flowing watching an 11 year old open some chocolate and scoff their faces. I'd be more keen to not watch them than to watch them, personally.
aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 09:09

@EarringsandLipstick

The other eggs I’ve said they’ve seen coming from work and being plonked on the side, and we’ve spoken about how much dads been given. It’s not a ‘surprise’ to see them in the same place as they’ve been appeared all week.

Also you may do a hunt, I never have. Lots of people ever have. They were not expecting a hunt this year when they’ve never done one

From OP's earlier posts.

I think this comment has really passed people by. If they've never done an egg hunt then there is really no excuse for their actions. It was deliberate.
DarkMatterA2Z · 06/04/2021 09:14

If they've never done an egg hunt then there is really no excuse for their actions. It was deliberate.

Only in the sense that, like foxes in a henhouse, they got the taste of choc egg and then ran mad in an egg-killing frenzy.

RachelRavenRoth · 06/04/2021 09:22

Easter is a VERY LONG season in the Church year, it lasts 50 days ffs, so I’m sure the food bank would have been fine with receiving them after. And what a weird detail to focus on.

HappydaysArehere · 06/04/2021 09:23

Bit late now. You should have been explicit about which ones they were allowed to open. Personally, I wouldn’t have left the room while a bunch of kids opened and broke Easter eggs up unless I was happy with a right old mess. That sort of chocolate can flake and spread easily without the added excitement of the Easter Bunny in the equation.

aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 09:24

@DarkMatterA2Z

If they've never done an egg hunt then there is really no excuse for their actions. It was deliberate.

Only in the sense that, like foxes in a henhouse, they got the taste of choc egg and then ran mad in an egg-killing frenzy.

Yes, people keep using this excuse. They had a whole pile of eggs already, they were being greedy. I'm not trying to say their behaviour was shocking and they would be grounded for a week, but this excuse wouldn't fly with me. An 11 year old is perfectly capable of restricting their "frenzy" to the pile in one room.

Massive punishments aren't necessary but I think it's quite silly and permissive to try and imply they haven't done anything wrong and it was some kind of accident.

Luddite26 · 06/04/2021 09:24

Foodbank drop done in good time in the box at the supermarket thanks.

dottiedodah · 06/04/2021 09:35

TBH I would let this go .Easter and Christmas /Birthdays are days to be relaxed and enjoyed .Lighten up a little .363 other days to teach about waste and so on!

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 09:38

@Luddite26 with the gifted items from Thursday and Friday you received?
Many of us managed the usual one. But the one you didn’t plan last minute with the extras yeah?

OP posts:
VaVaGloom · 06/04/2021 09:54

I am only just getting sensible behaviour from my secondary age child. My 9 year old needs really clear direction - I understand it’s massively frustrating when they don’t engage their brains or do what suits them instead! But they are not adults and their brains don’t function in the way adults do so it’s better to change your expectations of them - they may not be babies but are still children and prone to impulsive behaviour.

I’m surprised you’d leave them with a pile of chocolate without overseeing dividing it out, as often that part can end in tears anyway, so at least they managed that part well.

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 09:56

@VaVaGloom to give mine credit I’ve never seen them take from each other. They are a small gang and everything is distributed. That’s something I’ve not dealt with and it would be not nice to see.

OP posts:
VaVaGloom · 06/04/2021 09:59

And perhaps there are better times to nip in the shower than when a year one (5year old) is about to get messy eating an Easter egg? That way the whole episode wouldn’t have happened.

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 09:59

👏

OP posts:
VaVaGloom · 06/04/2021 10:04

@Oilpyi that’s good that they act fairly between themselves and I’m sure a lesson has been learnt (and they didn’t purposefully set out to upset you) it may even become a story about their childish antics that you laugh about together when they grow up. Enjoy the rest of your Easter hols.

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 06/04/2021 10:37

@VaVaGloom

And perhaps there are better times to nip in the shower than when a year one (5year old) is about to get messy eating an Easter egg? That way the whole episode wouldn’t have happened.
My year 1 doesn’t get messy eating chocolate Confused. If she gets any on her hands she does and washes them. Doesn’t need my supervision.