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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Easter eggs- how would you react

456 replies

Oilpyi · 04/04/2021 10:02

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 04/04/2021 13:11

@Bluntness100

Exactly. A quick shake of the head and “if you’re not sure ask” etc would’ve done it, rather than an essay on MN

Totally agree, never fails to surprise me how uptight and punitive some people like to be to their own children. It’s not like the op posted they do this all the time, in fact she said the opposite, so what, they are good kids who got excited by the Easter eggs on Easter Sunday, hardly the crime of the century some folks are behaving like it is “greedy, selfish,naughty, give the eggs to the food bank”.

Honestly what a way to live.

I really don't understand why it would "never fail to surprise people" that people would apply basic discipline to their children. They did something naughty, it's perfectly natural to teach them to do better in future. I wouldn't get rid of their eggs or issue a big punishment etc, but I would be telling them I didn't say they could have those ones and I was disappointed they helped themselves, and that they shouldn't open them all at once open or they will go off unless eaten quickly. I would put all the ones they helped themselves to and weren't supposed to have away.

I don't know why it would shock anyone that a parent would want their child to learn something from this experience.

HappyWipings · 04/04/2021 13:12

Ha! You left excited children alone with a big pile of chocolate without explaining that it wasn't all for them. What did you expect to happen?

It's been hard for everyone lately , especially small children. Let them enjoy their stash.

aSofaNearYou · 04/04/2021 13:13

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Sounds like its a rare novelty and they're so not used to it they got excited. You should have been there if you wanted to control it. I feel sad for them that you would moan about it. They're little children ffs.
My DD and DSS just got one Easter Egg each. I really don't understand why anyone would think having only one PILE of Easter egg's is sad. I love chocolate, but nobody needs that much.
aSofaNearYou · 04/04/2021 13:15

@HappyWipings

Ha! You left excited children alone with a big pile of chocolate without explaining that it wasn't all for them. What did you expect to happen?

It's been hard for everyone lately , especially small children. Let them enjoy their stash.

The other eggs were IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ROOM! She didn't leave them alone with them!
LondonJax · 04/04/2021 13:15

@HappyWipings they aren't small children, they're year 1 to 6 so the eldest is 11 years old - about to become a secondary school child.

And the OP told them they could have all the easter eggs on the chair. All the easter eggs ON THE CHAIR. Which they did, then went and helped themselves to eggs in the other room - not in their eye line.

What I would have expected to happen was the kids to have eaten all the eggs on the chair and left the rest alone! That was the instruction.

Bluntness100 · 04/04/2021 13:15

I really don't understand why it would "never fail to surprise people" that people would apply basic discipline to their children

Because these are good kids. Not everything needs to be a life lesson. No one is perfect. We all fuck up at times, always being hard on someone, always having to teach them a lesson is, quite frankly wearisome and does more damage than good. As parents we need to be able to contextualise and react appropriately. To know when to go easy, when to shake it off with a laugh, and when to react hard. So as the pp said, a shake of the head would have sufficed this time.

I’ve a fantastic 23 year old daughter who I have a fantastic relationship with. That didn’t happen because every single time she went an inch wrong I was on her. That happened because I knew when to let it go and when to deal with it.

SofiaMichelle · 04/04/2021 13:16

I can't believe the number of people who seem to have read a completely different OP to me.

The children were given a pile of Easter Eggs that they were free to enjoy.

Separately, there were other Easter Eggs in the house which were not for the children. Which they hadn't been given. Which they hadn't been told to eat.

They went and got the other Easter Eggs from another room and opened them all!

What's not to understand?

OP, I'd have been bloody annoyed, too!

DarkMatterA2Z · 04/04/2021 13:17

Huge overreaction Grin. Your 11 year old sounds like a good kid (if bossy in the way older siblings sometimes are). It's not like he stole all the chocolate for himself, he ensured it was shared fairly amongst all the children.

Tell them not to be such tossers so free with other people's chocolate in future. After that, you've got two options...forget about it or dump them in the wild 100 miles away to make their way home with no money Wink. Low-level sulking on your part is unbecoming.

YABU for not doing a hunt. Sounds like they were bored and created havoc directed their problem-solving energies elsewhere.

joanna67 · 04/04/2021 13:18

It isn't ok and I can understand why you were upset. But it's not the end of the world, put it behind you and enjoy the day. Kids do stupid things sometimes, ass do adults.

This will be a family story that you'll laugh about in years to come.

Cam77 · 04/04/2021 13:21

@aSofaNearYou

I really don't understand why it would "never fail to surprise people" that people would apply basic discipline to their children
It’s not about adults applying or not applying discipline, it’s about adults not getting wound up about about a fairly trifling bit of naughty behaviour from v.excited under 6s!

dementedpixie · 04/04/2021 13:22

They are under 11s not under 6s

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 04/04/2021 13:23

They just got overexcited.

It happens, they're children.

LondonJax · 04/04/2021 13:23

@Cam77 they're not under 6. They are year 1 - 6 so the eldest is 11, almost going into senior school.

PandaFluff · 04/04/2021 13:32

I would have taken the excess eggs to food bank before now or hidden them away. But I would be upset if they'd opened all the eggs when told explicitly which were theirs.

StringyPotatoes · 04/04/2021 13:35

I've read that you consider it resolved but I think you've conflated several issues here. It is totally okay to be cross that the children raided Easter Eggs that don't belong to them. That's fine.

The "wastefulness" and viewing them as "entitled" and "spoilt" because you walk in to find them surrounded by boxes is not. You told them to help themselves to the chocolate. They were sharing out their spoils not arguing and hoarding. Whether they had taken your eggs or not they might still have decided to open them up and share the contents - "I'll give you one of my mini Flakes if you give me a packet of your Mini Eggs".

Normally you let them open them up one at a time but this year you left them to it and told them to enjoy. The rules were clearly different. And they're young children. Whilst they should have known better than to take things that did. It belong to them, I wouldn't expect them to know not to gobble up all the chocolate when left unsupervised with no instruction not to.....

Ilovemypantry · 04/04/2021 13:37

I wouldn’t be happy about it either but I would have made it clear that some of the chocolate was to be given away to those less fortunate.

SunshineCake · 04/04/2021 13:40

That is really bad behaviour. If they had got six each and opened them all that would have been greedy but to open all yours as well is not on.

If it was me all would be removed and they would not have free rein on theirs now.

HeddaGarbled · 04/04/2021 13:40

I actually think it’s mean to build up a visible stash in the days preceding Easter and then not let them have most of them. Fair enough, keep a few back for yourselves, or have donated them elsewhere before Easter, but not to have them sitting there in temptation’s way. It’s almost like you were testing them.

SunshineCake · 04/04/2021 13:41

Rubbish, Hedda.

Horehound · 04/04/2021 13:44

No. Rubbish @sunshinecake. I agree with Hedda. I think a lot of folk here have forgotten what it's like to be a kid and they will have had their eyes on their other eggs from the moment they saw them!

C8H10N4O2 · 04/04/2021 13:46

You told them to help themselves to the chocolate. They were sharing out their spoils not arguing and hoarding

Did you read the OP?

lerelaisdelachance · 04/04/2021 13:50

@SunIsComing

You are being unreasonable and a misery. You told them that the Easter bunny had been so in their mind the eggs were for them so what they’ve done is pretty normal, so stop being so grumpy guts
Wow, you really should have read the whole post. The chocolate was in two separate rooms. How embarrassing.
MarriedToMyBestFriend19 · 04/04/2021 13:50

Only read your first post op. You left your kids to it without any instructions, so its your fault it ended up the way it did.

lerelaisdelachance · 04/04/2021 13:51

@SofiaMichelle

I can't believe the number of people who seem to have read a completely different OP to me.

The children were given a pile of Easter Eggs that they were free to enjoy.

Separately, there were other Easter Eggs in the house which were not for the children. Which they hadn't been given. Which they hadn't been told to eat.

They went and got the other Easter Eggs from another room and opened them all!

What's not to understand?

OP, I'd have been bloody annoyed, too!

Totally agree. The OP was clear in the first message and this isn't ok. Anybody suggesting the contrary is just not reading the messages properly.
lerelaisdelachance · 04/04/2021 13:53

@ForgedInFire

Why not just give the children their Easter eggs individually and there would have been no room for confusion. Just leaving a big pile and going off for a shower was inviting either confusion or arguments over who got what. It doesn't seem very fun either.
In two separate rooms? Give over.