To be sick of the attitude of some people towards the disabled?

[Livingtothefull]

I have just started taking my DS (20) out for walks since he came home for Easter. Yesterday (2nd time we have taken him out) we come to a zebra crossing. Nice straight road, built up area, very little traffic. As we start to cross a car brakes sharply to stop, then the driver yells out of the window at us.

After crossing we walk down a side road, same driver turns down the same road and yells at us again; 'You made me f---ing stop, I'm not the one meant to stop you are!' then drives off.

AIBU to be upset by the attitude this displays towards the disabled? This driver was obviously angry at being made to wait for a wheelchair. I do think this is a disablist incident; whenever I am out and about myself I don't get this. There are certain people who evidently see the disabled as getting in their way, I have encountered this attitude many times before.

I am inclined to say that most pedestrians have run-ins with stupid drivers most of the time, but you only have to look at the stupid things that are said on here by SUV-owning parents whose kids are perfectly able, who think it's fine to park in a disabled bay, or the idiots who genuinely seem to think that if they got on a bus first with their buggy they have no obligation, moral or otherwise, to put the buggy down and hold their baby when someone with a wheelchair gets on; to see that people are ridiculously stupid when it comes to dealing with disability. A lot is down to a lack of patience and thoughtlessness I think, but you can tell the difference between ignorance and nastiness.

I have already commented with regards the motorist but with regards to your other question about attitudes towards the disabled I do think things are getting worse as a previous poster said "othering"

I am myself an occasional wheelchair user and have daily mobility issues which occurred in my late 20s, my older sibling is severely learning and physically disabled from birth. So I have a lifetime of experience through him sadly. Nothing overly horrible but little things like staring, moving away and talking over him.

I on the other hand look "normal" I'm just slow to walk when I can and have to deal with tutting on stairs, being pushed past and my absolute lockdown favorite of racing me to the queue to get into a shop 🙄

Most people are lovely (if occasionally patronising) but it doesn't make up for the tiny minority that are shitheads.

Thank you all for your posts. I am so sorry that many of you have had upsetting and negative experiences too of some people's attitudes to the disabled.

Just to be clear I never claimed that all people are like this; I specifically said the opposite, that very many people are lovely and go out of their way to be supportive and helpful. The problem is with that minority who make our lives hard at times.

The hostility, the disgust, the outright hatred at times is a sight to behold. It is hard to believe it exists until you are on the receiving end, when it is unmistakeable. These people manage to tolerate the disabled until they have the audacity to get in their way and cause them inconvenience. Or even get in their line of vision.

That is why I think the incident was I described was a disablist incident; because it 'felt' like one. The behaviour, demeanour of the driver - I have experienced all that many times before.

I am sure most of you have encountered incidents of misogyny before and identified the contempt and hatred of women involved, and been unable to prove that misogyny was involved/been accused of being oversensitive etc. So I would hope that women would be particularly able to understand this.