To be concerned about neighbours

[perfectfacepaint]

I don't know them very well, just to say hello to. They have always seemed quite quiet but we often see the young primary aged children going to school and playing out in the garden. For about 3 weeks I've not seen them at all, not even the children going to school, the blinds have all been closed and the cars haven't moved. The bins haven't been out.

I had a quick search on Facebook as I know their name and the mum had shared some quotes last month which would suggest she is depressed.

Im quite concerned but don't know what to do. They are quite a private family.

@perfectfacepaint

I could knock and just ask if a parcel has been left for me

Yes I’d do this Just say u had a Royal Mail parcel slip left but they didn’t state which neighbour

Good for you for knocking on. Definitely the right thing to do. Hope his wife pulls through xx

Sorry just read update about DH knocking

@Shivermetimberframe

@Shivermetimberframe

Did he seem genuine, the dad? I mean not like he’s killed them all?

Is it terrible that I immediately thought the same thing. Would you not have noticed some movement of that’s the case? The dad going out to drop the kids off at grandparents or them getting picked up. Family checking that he is ok

Hope it does all turn out ok for them

Hmmm. Did the man seem unwell that he couldn’t get to Tesco himself? He hasn’t moved his car to visit his wife in hospital or his DC at their grandparents? I think I’d be more concerned after that.

Im glad you knocked. Probably made a huge difference to that man to know people care

If it's covid he won't be allowed to visit.

Even if it's not covid he probably couldn't visit his wife right now . If he was a mad axe murderer I think your DH would have smelled something when the door was answered

@Shivermetimberframe

Did he seem genuine, the dad? I mean not like he’s killed them all?

Gosh that just gave me goosebumps.

I think if it's covid would he be self isolating and he wouldn't be allowed to visit would he. DH said light on in living room (looks dark from outside so must have black out curtains) and he could hear the tele.

Although he wouldn’t be able to visit his wife in hospital of course due to Covid now I’ve just remembered! Still odd that he wouldn’t have gone out at all to see his DC or go to the shops/work in 3 weeks if you’re sure his car hasn’t moved.

You deffo did the right thing to knock on the door x

I'd be concerned, too, but particularly as there are young children. Please do call the police for a welfare check. If all's well then you can rest easy knowing you checked!

I do think it’s odd that you seem to know exactly what the movements of this family are - couldn’t he of popped out to the shops when he wasn’t being stalked? I assume you take a break from your neighbourhood security surveillance role to accommodate restroom breaks

I joke

Whoops my phone's behind. Glad that you checked. I hate the "mind your own business" mentality you sometimes get on here.

@perfectfacepaint

So I told DH the replies on here and he agreed we should knock on. He went over and the man answered he said the family hadn't been well and wife was in hospital. Children are at grandparents as he isn't coping. We assume it's covid but didn't ask. DH agreed to pick some bits up from Tesco tomorrow for him and we left our number if we can help in any way.

Well done @perfectfacepaint very caring of you.

I think you would have been better off calling 101 and letting them arrange a welfare check. Who knows if he’s telling the truth, I would just be worried about the children and whether they’re being kept in the house or not allowed out. Now if you call 101 he will guess that it’s you whose called them. If the police had gone round and done a check they would have gone inside the house and got more of an idea of what’s actually going on, if he’d told them the children are at the grandparents address they would have arranged for them to have a welfare check At the grandparents address.

Someone else posted this exact same thing fairly recently ...

My first thought is the wife might have been sectioned. Who knows though.

Or she might have left him.

Well done for going over.

I always find the bins not going out really weird out of everything. I would be tempted to call 101 to log it, although it's very kind of DH to offer to go shopping, it might be that he needs more support.

I hope what he's told your DH is the truth 😔 how worrying.

Great of you both to of noticed and cared enough to knock. Very neighbourly and nice to hear x

He might have gone out in the 3 weeks, when I'm at work I wouldn't have noticed but I usually see him coming home from work or shops, he seemed to do all the shopping, we don't see the wife much it's usually dad with the children

@SmashedAvocado

Is their car there?

Easiest and quickest option is to knock on the door with a reasonable excuse. Doesn’t matter if they get arsey if you’re concerned and it puts your mind at rest.

I’d go now. Ask if they’re having a problem with their water supply as you only have a trickle coming out of your taps, electricity gone off has theirs etc? Quite reasonable to ask. If house is dark and no one answers, I’d have a nosy through the windows.

Schools are on holiday now for 2 weeks. Very odd that they’d go away before that when schools were closed for so long and the travel restrictions.

Very odd that they’d go away before that when schools were closed for so long

No it isn't! Have you seen the prices of term time holidays/breaks compared to holiday prices??? My DD & I are going the week before half term in may. £490 for the week. The exact same caravan the following week is £1,860 for the week

We don't all have wealthy husbands with unlimited credit cards to scrounge off!

Not the point of the thread but how can a wife 'scrounge off' her husband!!