Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about neighbours

91 replies

perfectfacepaint · 02/04/2021 20:54

I don't know them very well, just to say hello to. They have always seemed quite quiet but we often see the young primary aged children going to school and playing out in the garden. For about 3 weeks I've not seen them at all, not even the children going to school, the blinds have all been closed and the cars haven't moved. The bins haven't been out.

I had a quick search on Facebook as I know their name and the mum had shared some quotes last month which would suggest she is depressed.

Im quite concerned but don't know what to do. They are quite a private family.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 02/04/2021 21:07

Just asked my partner that’s a police officer and he said go and knock round and see if anyone answers if not 101 and mention it’s been 3 weeks and they will send someone out to check. I’d imagine 2 weeks for isolation 3 weeks is too long. My only thought is could someone have picked them up and taken them somewhere else.

HappyTodayForNow · 02/04/2021 21:07

Id go around and ask if a parcel has been left for you as you dont know where they left it....that way you have some idea or call 101 and ask for a welfare check but if they are private it might rub them up the wrong way as they may feel people are watching them

Powerplant · 02/04/2021 21:11

Or maybe they have travelled somewhere despite restrictions

Original poster
perfectfacepaint · 02/04/2021 21:11

DH has said he will definitely knock on in the morning. I was thinking maybe they have gone to stay with family but in the 16 years we have lived here we have never seen family or friends visit. I know if I sent a wel face check they would be pissed off that we are watching them. Would they know who called 101?

OP posts:
SmashedAvocado · 02/04/2021 21:14

Is their car there?

Easiest and quickest option is to knock on the door with a reasonable excuse. Doesn’t matter if they get arsey if you’re concerned and it puts your mind at rest.

I’d go now. Ask if they’re having a problem with their water supply as you only have a trickle coming out of your taps, electricity gone off has theirs etc? Quite reasonable to ask. If house is dark and no one answers, I’d have a nosy through the windows.

Schools are on holiday now for 2 weeks. Very odd that they’d go away before that when schools were closed for so long and the travel restrictions.

warmandtoasty2day · 02/04/2021 21:14

it would suggest that someone cared about their welfare.

SmashedAvocado · 02/04/2021 21:16

Sorry just saw in OP that cars haven’t moved. No one’s gone shopping?

I’d be very concerned and wouldn’t hesitate to knock.

pudcat · 02/04/2021 21:17

Tomorrow morning might be too late if it isn;t already

Saz12 · 02/04/2021 21:19

If you don’t want to knock (but late at after 9pm), then arrange welfare check but tell police that they are v private people and you don’t want them to think you’ve been nosey neighbours. This must be usual to police and am sure they’ll be able to say “we’ve reports of...” rather than “them at number 42 told us that...”

EggscellentEggplant · 02/04/2021 21:21

Surely if the husband isn't turning up to work and kids arent turning up to school then the police would have already been out by now. I expect they've gone to stay with family for some reason but worth a check.

FOJN · 02/04/2021 21:24

Do you live in a semi, have you heard any noise from their house. Are lights being put on at night? I agree with PP, I would knock on the door, you'll be able to assess if mail has been taken into etc. Even if they're very private I don't think you need to make up an excuse you could just say you haven't seen them and wondered if they were self isolating and did they need anything. If they're arsey you can just apologise for bothering them and leave but at least you'll know they are OK.

Branleuse · 02/04/2021 21:26

id knock on the door with some chocolates and say that you just wanted to check that they were ok

Insidelaurashead · 02/04/2021 21:31

I'd knock on now and say there's an issue with their water and is theirs okay (and say you were worried cos you know they've got the kids) if they're well and arsey with you, then great they're well Smile

NC4UmpteenthTime · 02/04/2021 21:32

Are their cars still there, if so that's weird and concerning... If not they've gone to their holiday home.

toocold54 · 02/04/2021 21:35

If the husband usually goes to work and you haven’t seen him or seen the kids go to school or go outside then it just sounds like they’ve gone away. I’d keep an eye out if there’s any movement in the house to suggest someone’s there

InFiveMins · 02/04/2021 21:37

Sounds like they might have gone away?

Original poster
perfectfacepaint · 02/04/2021 21:37

So I told DH the replies on here and he agreed we should knock on. He went over and the man answered he said the family hadn't been well and wife was in hospital. Children are at grandparents as he isn't coping. We assume it's covid but didn't ask. DH agreed to pick some bits up from Tesco tomorrow for him and we left our number if we can help in any way.

OP posts:
OverByYer · 02/04/2021 21:40

That’s a relief and a very neighbourly thing to do

ColdCottage · 02/04/2021 21:41

Good choice. Community is so important. I bet it means a lot to him even if he isn't sociable.

Sanchez79 · 02/04/2021 21:41

That was very neighbourly of you both OP, well done

toocold54 · 02/04/2021 21:42

That’s lovely of you both x

NOTANUM · 02/04/2021 21:43

Thank goodness your husband went in. I hope they're soon well.

NC4UmpteenthTime · 02/04/2021 21:44

@perfectfacepaint glad there are people like you and your husband out there xxx

Shivermetimberframe · 02/04/2021 21:46

Did he seem genuine, the dad? I mean not like he’s killed them all?

pheasantsinlove · 02/04/2021 21:47

Good work OP. Poor man.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.