To dislike background music? 🤣 (I know I’m totally miserable!)

[Maddie2019]

Ladies, I genuinely think I’m going slightly insane but I HATE constant sound! My DH loves his music and will play it in the background 24 hours a day. Now I’m not talking some gentle sounds, it’s Hiphop, drum and bass, rap, eugh!! Am I being unreasonable for this driving me loco? I wake up at 7 in the morning enjoying the peace before work, he wakes up and then puts his music on. I come home from work, music is on. I’m watching tv, music is on (headphones are a no go apparently because he likes listening when he’s walking around the house, we have a google speaker upstairs and downstairs that play simultaneously!) He says I’m miserable, and I feel like I am being a grumpy git but I wish for peace and quiet!

The worst is when I come home from work, TV is on and up, tablets are on and playing, music on the google speaker is on and his laptop is playing!

By the way we live In a small 2 bed end terraced house so there is honestly no way to escape it 🤯We have been together eight years and it’s never really bothered me before, must be the lockdown and constant staying at home with it! 🤯

YANBU. Sounds hectic.

Likes to listen whilst moving around? That's what Bluetooth headphones are for.

Irritating in restaurants and entirely unnecessary constantly at home.

@JessicaaRabbit I’m with you there! I’m trying hard not to be an inconsiderate person and remembering that it’s his house to but honestly the word hectic is exactly how it feels! Im feeling like a miserable partner constantly asking him to turn it down - I’m only in my 20s and feel like a nag! X

I can't stand that! I'm a musician, and I find it really, really hard to tune out background music. Drives me right out of shops, for example. I don't blame you for getting fed up with it!

It’s completely inconsiderate of him not to wear wireless headphones or AirPods.

@Trivium4all now I feel less bad hearing it from someone who makes a profession out of it. Honestly, it makes me want to cry. There’s no room to think except the shower which sometimes drowns it out but honestly the base still goes through the house 🤯

Air pods or similar would solve this. I listen to audio books/podcast when cleaning or pottering around the house and use my blue tooth headphones to not aggravate everyone else.

I love silence! I never have background noise on when I'm on my own - no radio, and I don't put the TV on unless there's something I actually want to watch. My OH however likes Smooth FM (aaaargh) and ...Steve Wrights Sunday Love Songs. Music to slit your throat to in my opinion...

Are you heading towards menopause? Only I've always struggled with background noise but since becoming peri menopausal it's a million times worse. But yanbu, get him to put in air pods.

@Ifonlyiweretallerh my gosh I’m sorry I had a chuckle at this - I totally feel your pain! I’m feeling like I should just pack up now and move into a library 😅

@Crockof I hope not, I’m only in my 20s lol. Mind you I am very hormonal at the moment, I’ve been putting it down to being cooped up in this house for too long! X

It’d be a deal breaker for me, it would drive me insane!!
Why are you the one to compromise?

That would drive me crazy. Its totally unfair. Headphones all the way. How would he react if you were taking o or the whole house with some noise constantly. Really selfish. I probably would accept it from a teenager for about 15mins but even teens know to use headphones.

Headphones would literally solve this issue for you and him

I agree with others about you DH wearing Bluetooth headphones. He can link them all up so it doesn't bother you and he still gets to listen to music. Plus if there's a lot of base could it be bugging your neighbours if it's pretty much constant?

Failing that you could look into active noise cancelling headphones for yourself. They wouldn't cut out the vibrations of course but they are very effective at blocking out noise.

It would drive me mad and I suffer from tinnitus. I cannot bear silence but to hear jarring sounds that I don't like would drive me to distraction.
He's being unreasonable.
You need to discuss this and find some mutual reasoning.

I like radio in the background all day, the gentler sounds of Radio 2 rather than hip hop which would make me very twitchy, but I've had to compromise with family around all the time. DH is WFM and if DS1 is around, he finds it overwhelming. I couldn't put it on for much of day when home-schooling because of live learning.

Compromise is needed.

I like a bit of background noise but agree I would hate it constantly!
Can you meet in the middle and have half the day with no music and half with his? Or half the day with music if your choice and choose something he would hate

I've tried wearing my earphones, but thd sods seem to get particularly loquacious and then I have to keep pulling them on and off to hear which gets bloody annoying!

You could not be any less unreasonable! He needs to get Bluetooth headphones! Why is he so totally unwilling to compromise that he doesn’t even restrict it to certain times or rooms so that you both get what you’d like? It’s really selfish of him.

Oh god I would HATE that. I like my house silent and peaceful. I have never liked background noise. I couldn't live with him.

Hi all, thanks for your responses and letting me feel less like a nag.

In response to the compromise - DH works from home all day, I am in the office between 8am and 5:30pm, so he does have all day in addition to this.

Earphones - He has said he doesn’t want to wear them, and he can’t “mix” his music properly with a aux input (how true that is I have no idea, praying it’s just a phase!? 🤣)

What happens if you try to play your music over his?

I can't stand constant noise. There has to be a compromise, tell him he can only play music half the time. Why do his wants trump yours?

God that would drive me nuts.