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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I deal with this one?

48 replies

Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:11

Name changed for this.

My 75 year old cousin has MS. We have just assigned another helper in there. However, a live in helper has been convicted of a sexual offence. I won't go into the conditions assigned to his licence but my cousin feels he is innocent. He pleaded guilty,(she says he is innocent)

AIBU to ensure our new helper is aware of his past?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 02/04/2021 15:14

How on earth was he allowed to become a carer if he has been convicted of a sexual offence?

HollowTalk · 02/04/2021 15:15

Why would anyone think he was innocent if he pleaded guilty?

Iwantacookie · 02/04/2021 15:15

Why has he not had a dbs check?

Original poster
Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:16

My cousin believes he is innocent and submitted an application to his PPU that she was happy to have him live with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:17

@Iwantacookie

Why has he not had a dbs check?
Not required. His PPU have cleared him being there. Because my cousin believes he is innocent.
OP posts:
Butwasitherdriveway · 02/04/2021 15:19

Thats not really how the law works...

Original poster
Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:21

@Babyroobs

How on earth was he allowed to become a carer if he has been convicted of a sexual offence?
He claims carers allowance for her. The offence happened on my cousin's premises.

I'm really at a massive loss as to what to do.

OP posts:
Cottagepieandpeas · 02/04/2021 15:23

Is this outside the UK?
Does your cousin employ the carers directly?

Butwasitherdriveway · 02/04/2021 15:23

Hang on.

The guy was convicted.

It's fine for him to work without a DBS because the cousin says it's fine.

This is odd.

And yes, you need to tell the new person. Watch them fly out the door though.

RuggeryBuggery · 02/04/2021 15:25

Does your cousin employ him directly? Does your cousin fund the care or is it via the local authority? If it’s via the local authority even through direct payments then they should be made aware. The law is hazy but they may say the carer who has been convicted can’t be paid from LA monies.

Is the new carer going to be living in with the existing, convicted one? Or just visiting through the day.
My personal opinion is if they are living in the employer, (your cousin presumably) should tell them, but it may be hard to retain new carers.
If they’re just popping in and not alone with them/sleeping in then I’m not sure it’s their business to know about a colleagues background. The only grey area is they would assume they had a clear DBS

RuggeryBuggery · 02/04/2021 15:26

Ah so it’s not a formal carer then? A friend that claims carers allowance? Not paid as a job?

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 02/04/2021 15:31

I think you're going to have to expand on a few things here, OP...

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/04/2021 15:32

Your cousin can think what they like and choose any carer they like. I think it’s unreasonable to knowingly employ someone to work alongside a sex offender without their informed consent.

Tinydinosaur · 02/04/2021 15:33

So he's a friend or relative of her I'm guessing. You absolutely need to tell the person entering her home with him there and make it clear that she shouldn't stay in that job if she's not comfortable.

B33Fr33 · 02/04/2021 15:35

Any employer needs to be notified of the risks to their employee. I'm sure somewhere, within signed agreements, your cousin is already obliged to disclose that. Certainly care support directly to sex offenders does go ahead with a particular risk assessment. This needs to be carried out if there is a sex offender in the household.

BlueSkyBlinking · 02/04/2021 15:36

Obviously this person would need to have a DBS check and would fail it. The cared-for person should have a named social worker and they need to be informed ASAP, especially if the cared-for person is a vulnerable adult.

Original poster
Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:43

Thank you, for all your thoughts. I'm just not happy with this at all. He is not a relative of my cousin. She just insists that he is innocent. I have had a few rows with her on this one.
K

OP posts:
Butwasitherdriveway · 02/04/2021 15:43

@Herdwicklambs

Thank you, for all your thoughts. I'm just not happy with this at all. He is not a relative of my cousin. She just insists that he is innocent. I have had a few rows with her on this one. K
We need more info OP.
Original poster
Herdwicklambs · 02/04/2021 15:49

What do you need, @Butwasitherdriveway ?

OP posts:
Butwasitherdriveway · 02/04/2021 15:52

@Herdwicklambs

What do you need, *@Butwasitherdriveway* ?
The many questions that have been asked.
Ohdoleavemealone · 02/04/2021 15:54

So this guy is just someone she knows who is claiming carers allowance for helping her, plus their is an actual paid live in helper too?

You should tell the live in helper regardless of what your cousin says.

Notaroadrunner · 02/04/2021 15:57

Regardless of what your cousin thinks, this person pleaded guilty and was convicted of a sexual offence. The new helper needs to be told in order for them to make an informed decision as to whether they wish to work for your cousin.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 02/04/2021 16:03

It doesn't matter what your cousin thinks. He has been convicted after pleading guilty so I think it's only fair that the carer coming in knows so that they can decide whether they want to work for him or not

BrilliantBetty · 02/04/2021 16:17

Yes the other carer should be informed.

He was convicted.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 02/04/2021 16:18

What sexual crime has he been convicted of? The new carer has a tight ti a safe work place. Can that be guaranteed while he is loving there? Why is your cousin so adamant he is innocent, could she be scared of him?
You said I happened in her house? Why on earth does she want him to still live there?