to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

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i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

Erm, yes, iswym, mamazon...but basically they are indirectly funding the child-rearing of their child.

Sorry, that came out sounding shite rubbish.

I don't know how it normally works but as far as I know, I would receive exactly the same (no £10 bonus??) whether he paid towards it or not. Basically the CSA collects money from absent parents and if you are on benefit they pass it straight onto the benefits agency, so you don't see it.
If you refuse to dob in the bloke, you get a fair whack taken off as a punishment, unless you can prove they are likely to be a risk to you or the kids.
I was thankfully able to ask the refuge to back me up which meant I was believed. Yes, Mamazon, I didn't want to give him another excuse to harass us - considering he had already asked me to lie about him being the father so he could 'pay me privately' wtf? He already uses that to control and whinge about his other ex, he used to tell me every day what she had 'wasted his money' on.
I wasn't going to be another one on his list...

Sorry, hearing so many things about men (i say men, but there are women who are horrid too) like this, it would be so nice if they had "warning, i am an arsehole, do not be deceived" tatooed on their foreheads, so no more innocent women would get lulled into bad relationships. Unfortunately they don't and you end up paying by being branded scum. But it's a nice idea still (shall i go get the tattooing needle ?)

I'll sit on him if you do the writing!!!

Lol...phew...i was worried i would offend people there!

Will have to go, got to get dd3 up from her nap. Bye. Will bring needle next time!

No, you are supposed to get £10 per week but this depends entirely upon whether the useless csa are managing to collect the money from your childrens' father. The CSA owe me about £200.

Hi all, just re-visiting this thread. I still think 80smum had the right idea. Pay everybody from the age of 18 a kind of basic amount of money, enough to provide the basics of living but without any luxuries. Then for those who work, there would be a greater differential - they would still keep the basic maintenence allowance, and what they earned would automatically leave them significantly better off. I absolutely agree that the welfare system needs to be there as a safety net for people who fall on hard times and cannot work/support their family for a while. But equally, those who do work should have something tangible as a result of their work. I believe that working raises self esteem,makes for a happier life, sets a better example for children etc. But there need to be very clear financial benefits too.The system at the moment doesn;t work. There are too many people who know that working will leave them hardly any better off and therefore choose to live off the state.

i agree with inthegutter

i dont think anyone would grudge benefits to those people who really needed them, its the others that piss everyone of.

Here's a simple idea that would make working more attractive and a better option for more people.

RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE.

Close the loopholes corporations use to pay less than the minimum wage and avoid giving employees any job security.

PROSECUTE companies that boost their profits by insisting on unpaid overtime.

KerryKatona - we have never (in two and a half years) had a penny from xp. He goes to incredible lengths to avoid his responsibilities to his children, and the CSA are completely fecking usesless at enforcing payment IME. I am owed over £1000 in maintainance that they have failed to collect.

I feel very strongly that single parents with young childrn should not be made to feel guilty about not working. My dd needs me at home, and I refuse to feel guilty about my 'choice' to stay at home with her. The person who should be demonised and condemned is her father, for refusing to contribute to his daughters upkeep. His responsibility to her did not end just because we separated, yet he behaves as though it did.

And yes Madamez, that would work! I hate the way that people assume that benefits are too generous because you are not significantly better off in work, when its actually down to the fact that the minimum wage is not the same thing as a living wage for a family.

Why should individuals work if they can receive far more money on benefits? They've got the right idea sitting at home, doing nothing and having money handed to them.

Unlike us...dh works all the hours of the week and I work part-time with one dd at school and the other doing just 2.5days per week at playgroup - not easy and we're as skint as you can get.

It seems to me there are two types of people on beenfits - those who are honest and don't cheat the system and struggle day to day, and those who do cheat the system. My mum was on benefits after my dad left and she hated it. Once me and my brothers were older she got herself a full time job to get herself off benefits, but for some people it is a real struggle because they may not have the opportunity, training or education to gte anything more than a low paid job which would leave them worse off.
The system just ain't perfect!
You have to be very careful before condemning people on benefits unless you know the entirity of their circumstances. Things aren't always as they seem.

Weird...I only seem to know of those who cheat the system and there are plenty of them who wave their kids off into the school playground in the mornings and merrily make their way back home and it is those who have the latest widescreen plasma tv, gameboys, smart car in the drive, have holidays abroad etc etc......oh I wish.

But MALO, the answer is to make working a more viable and rewarding option, not to criticise single parents for choosing the option that will suit them best.

And my dd does not have any of those things. Even if I was well off she would not have them, as I feel that they are not necessary to her wellbeing.

I wasn't criticising - I was actually saying good for them...!!! If they can stay at home and enjoy their little luxuries and be paid a set figure each week for doing so then that's great for them.

I agree going back to work should be made rewarding for them - but there are those out there who simply DO NOT want to go out each day and work - getting up to go to work simply isn't an attractive option if you can be at home and have money handed to you instead.

I am not slating single parents but surely once all the children are at school single parents should be encouraged to go back to work too? I know of parents who have all their children in school and still do not work and claim benefits. After all they are free from 9-3 every day BUT obviously they wouldn't earn anywhere near what they are receiving in benefits by working just a few hours per day.

madamez- it would be lovely to raise the minimum wage, but it would just create unemployment to do so.

I'll give you a very concrete example. My partner runs a chain of shops. 70% of his employees are shop assistants on low wages (not exactly the minimum, but the minimum allowed for their job in France). If their wages were raised by any significant amount, the company would go out of business and their would be no jobs at all.

Margins at retailers (and in many, many service companies) are very slender.

Well MALo, obviously the answer is to throw out your husband, not collect any maintainence from him, and then you too can have 'the Life of Riley'.

You are quite capable of makintg the choice to do this, so if you feel your life would be so much better as a single mother on benefits, go ahead!

stripemama - I agree, the minimum wage is not a living wage for a family.

There will never be a place or time when the minimum wage will cover the needs of an entire family.

My dh had to go to the chemist the other day to get a prescription of tablets - he had to pay the £6.85 for the prescription. He told me that there were atleast 5 people in the queue in front of him - none of which had to pay for this reason or that and none of which were over 65 yrs old. It gets to the stage that we think twice before going to the Doctors.

Same applies to all the other charges this country puts on us...some of which are reduced or not applicable to those on benefits - we have to pay everything and its people like us who go out and earn our living that get penalised and end up with being unable to make ends meet.

What is the solution then if not to raise the minimum wage? Because it is pitifully low aand you can't support a family on it.

Single Mum? Err no thanks. I have been married for 17yrs and have no intention of life being any different!!! ...and I know I'm lucky to be happily married before anyone tells me so!

You can raise the minimum wage...but there will still be those people who simply do not want to go to work. Their home comforts are far more attractive than having to go out every day and earn.