to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

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i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

civistry, even

Oh and someone please tell me where I can get free babysitting as well, because surestart don't offer that.

They do send round professional chefs to do your cooking though. And landscape gardeners to sort your garden out. And escorts to perform cunnilingus on you - you have a choice of Germanic, Latin or Asiatic at my local surestart, but they're looking into extending the limited range after complaints. I was so pissed off last time when they sent me a Slav after I'd ordered a Latin Lover.

3andno more where is your dh posted at just now. we are in edinburgh

dh left for iraq yesterday, only had a weeks notice for him to go

but as some silly cow told me at school this morning i have nothing to complain about because we will get some extra money for xmas while he is over there

sorry have gone right of th pint again

how nice of her, kerry. what a coo.

we left Edinburgh a few months ago.

the point

kerry, dh is working with the ta in leicester...as a regular seargant...well, he was in afghanistan for the first almost half of the year, and we are still waiting for that extra money, that, sadly due to the cost out there my dh did spend...and of course we are paying lovely high bank charges....dh also didn't receive his usually extra money whilst abroad, and because of the change of system we now get a little bit extra over the year...yes, that helps when you are in debt because they didn't pay ou what they should...cheers, a lot...
if he does go to rejoin the regiment in germany he will go to iraque....oh yes ice...and people wonder why one can get a bit bitter, eh!

Did you see the 3 brothers on one of the breakfast shows this morning? All of them on their was to Iraq next week. Their poor mum. I have such admiration for the forces and their families, I do not know how you can stand it. ´

LittleBella Maybe I should kick DH out if that is the kind of help you get on Surestart

Ah, speak of the devil, DH home at last. I am off

Night night!

Ah, in my dreams KS. And in some people's fevered imaginations, apparantly...

By Reallytired on Fri 09-Nov-07 22:14:31

'Bectheneck, are you scared of hard work?

My objection is to the work shy who have the sexual morals of an alley cat. It does not require an IQ of 120 to know how to use a condom.

I think that doing community work, volentary work or training would improve the confidence of those who have been long term on benefits. It might also give them experience which would lead to employment and a way out the benefits trap.

If someone is not prepared to help themselves why should the state help them with handouts. The benefits system should help people to stand on their own two feet and be independent as far as possible.

Don't you think that it would give people back their dignity if they were provided with a job by the state rather than spending their life on benefits.'

I know I have asked twice for an explanation of what you mean by 'Are you afraid of hard work?' but I'm still waiting. I just want it noted that if you are implying that I don't work hard because I'm a single parent then I find that incredibly offensive and small-minded. Really upset by this.

It's especially offensive in the context of the rest of the post. In fact, in context or not I am not happy about it. Feel free to put me straight if I have misunderstood.

People who 'tell you about a benefit you have never heard of' are not necessarily fraudsters. They are trying to help you get what you are entitled to. Not everyone claims all they could, because the benefits offices are not that pro-active about spreading the word. For instance, those of you who are 'working poor' with one or both of you on the minimum wage, have you asked about tax credits? You might well be able to get some and, though tax credits do allow employers to hold down wages, they are also a great help to people who are short of money.

if you are working poor you may also qualify for housing/council tax benefit.

sits waiting for littlebella to publish her surestart number

I just wanted to make sure that you realise i was disgusted by the people having a pop at single mums... not that i was ... just reading your post made me wonder if i"d miss represented my opinion...

I think reallytired implies that if your circumstances allowed you to work, and you wouldn't des[ite jobs suitable being ooffered then maybe someone could be called work shy!

Being a parent, fulltime, parttime or whatever is hardwork...
IO am, at this time, most a sahm, and my 3 drive me nuts....actually if, right now, I could a job that gives not only jobsatisfaction but also pays well, I consider that the easy option, lol!
BUT there are those people, often singlemums with single boyfriends, living in one place but not saying they do, so they can claim more benfits. they have children of different partners, from the past, aswell, as of the current partner...and one usually would be able to work, physically, but they don't want to...about at least 2/3 of the street I live in, or about that amount, near enough!

bectheneck i wouldnt let this comment get to you, it was obviously said in complete ignorance (unless it was misunderstood) and i think there has been alot of ignorance on the thread, i saw you post this twice and she didnt reply so maybe she went offline. please dont loose sleep over it

your girls are gorgeous btw and cute little boy too!

ALso, re-entering the labour market is not that easy if you have parents. SO many employers want 'flexibility' ie unpaid overtime at very short notice, which is hardly ideal for parents, especially single ones. And for people with few qualifications a lot of the work on offer is not just badly paid but very insecure, casual jobs here and there. So the idea of coming off benefits, getting a job, losing it after a couple of months (not through anything you did but because the employer wants to cut costs, or is one of those companies who get grants for providing very short term jobs for the 'long-term unemployed') and then having to go through the whole hideous form-filling again with weeks to wait before you get any more money.. it's not surprising that some people feel safer on benefits.

not easy if you ARE parents (bangs head on table)

Then just call me work shy and have done with it. I could easily find a job, I have plenty of qualifications and experience but I am choosing not to because it would not be the best thing for me and my family at this time.

If you know of people who are claiming fraudulently you could always report them to the DWP.

this is exactly why SIL stayed on benefits so long after leaving her abusive partner, madamez.

a LOT of the jobs were temp.

it took over a month with no money coming in after she left and had to change all her benefits to lone status, then she was looking at getting them recalculated, lose the job after the season/contract ends and then go weeks with nowt.

in addition, she got harrassed for going back on them.

so she waited till she qualified fully as a hairdresser and got a full-time, perm job.

BUT her elder son is also old enough to stay home alone in case he is ill and to look after the 12-year-old during school holidays and all the evening and weekend hours she has to work.

I used to lose sleep about how many people seem to afford loads of stuff that we can't - some on benefits, some not. But then it dawned on me that a lot of people finance an outwardly high standard of material living by living on perpetual credit. That's the choice we all make. I would rather go without luxuries and stay (reasonably) solvent.

It does seem to be true though that if you're not "in" the system it is much harder to get the help you need if you hit hard times. And there certainly seems to be a level of income (ours?) where you just miss all the state help so apparently end up being worse off than people on the other side of the line who get free prescriptions, dental care, etc. etc. So like Madamez said, I can kind of understand people not wanting to leave that safety net behind.

especially when you're single and have no one else for support, twinkle.

Thanks Lucky, I should really stay away from these kinds of threads. They always stress me probably because I feel guilty about my situation anyway and I end up feeling very defensive.

Thank you for the compliment about DCs they are the best things in my life.

Absolutely agree Expat. We're lucky that family will help out if we really need it. I can't imagine how hard it must be having no one to turn to for help except the State.