Weddings - Covid has improved them ?

[Trickyboy]

I got married for the second time 10 years ago. Still took us 4 years to pay it off.

18 of May we are going to a wedding. 30 people Max. Bride and Groom are so chilled. Everyone looking for are to it. Simple ceremony in local church .. walking distance to the house ... where 30 of us will have a party .

That's it. £1000 all in with lavish reception.

Looking back on grandparents , great grandparents weddings .. it was the symbolism not the show that matters . I know this is going to be amazing.

Isn't this how weddings should be ? About family /friends ? Who really gives a fuck about the table decorations.. the bridesmaids favours .. doesn't that just add another layer of stress to put people off ? And leave women with little protection for the sake of £215 (the actual wedding cost ) .. with the excuse 'we can't afford it ' ... ?

I much prefer smaller weddings where the focus is on the vows and commitment being made rather than the whole brides big day.

I disagree with the protection element, I wouldn’t want my sons future partner to marry him for his money and protection. Surely a better message is to remain financially independent and to provide for ones self.

More fool you for having a wedding that took 4 years to pay off. No one made you and each year countless couples have low key weddings because they want one like that or it’s within their means. COVID has just increased the number through necessity rather than choice.

Best wedding I went to was a church ceremony then a self catered buffet in the church hall. After lunch we all went to the local off license then back to the bride's parents house for a party. I remember MOTB stressing about possible food poisoning from the buffet crab sticks that came back with us but FOTB put them in the bin and that was that. Low key. Lovely. Just a celebration of the couple's union / love.

We were planning a huge 25k wedding which covid stopped twice. We've now clawed back the money we can and are planning a small 30 person 5k wedding. Doesn't mean either choice was wrong, we could afford both, just can't bear to plan another day (and also re invite people who didn't even comment on the two cancelled ones!)

Uh. My wedding is costing 20k already and we’ve only decided on venue and food.

Please god help me 😭

You can have as small a wedding as you like whenever you like, nothing to do with covid.

Glad it's the wedding you wanted. But small weddings have been around for years. So have lavish ones

We had an extremely small wedding 25years ago, just us and witnesses. Brought a house instead.

I really wish we’d had a bigger wedding...

Ah , when things are more open , everyone have the wedding they want , but , what I would say a friend of mine & her husband spent all their savings ( some £000s) on her daughter's dress and shoes and flowers. I am not sure myself ( having had a very modest wedding ) that now said friend and husband are worried for their jobs it was the best use of that money - but - but not my daughter - not my choice.

I disagree, there's always the option to have smaller weddings if that's what you want. I want to have everyone in the church with me that I grew up in where I made all my sacraments and ready to make my wedding vows.

I want to have my ceilidh and be flung about to an amazing band. Unfortunately my wedding has been rescheduled three times, here's hoping third time's a charm. Although realistically I don't think I'll be having a ceilidh by summer.

We had a small inexpensive wedding too, then a big blowout party on our 25th! Much better.

We had a big wedding and it was lovely. But we wouldnt of got into debt for it, could of had a small wedding if cost dictated but it was far easier guest wise to just invite both sides of family and friends than have to restrict numbers. We both had very large families and realistically it was tiny and imediate family only or jump to large numbers.

However, ive been to large and small weddings as a guest and all have been lovely in their own ways.
I think have the wedding you want within the budget you can afford. Don't borrow and get in debt

Can't fathom spending thousands on a wedding, much rather put it into my home - something more lasting to enjoy for much longer than a day.
But - each to their own.

I'm Asian and in our culture we usually have massive weddings with different ceremonies and get togethers over several days. Even a small wedding would consist of 200-300 guests over 2/3 days. Small wedding are just not the norm in our culture and people end up spending thousands.

Amongst my friends and family, people have had a change in mindset and have begun to realise just how wasteful and unnecessary a lot of the customs etc are.

My partner and I are getting a civil partnership in May just before our baby is born. We've spent a grand total of £123. We'll probably go out for brunch after with our two witnesses and we're planning a celebration later in the summer. Big just doesn't do it for us.

@Thamigumathacharaid - that sounds lovely - all best wishes to you - and I am sure you will have a lovely celebration in the summer

I think it had given some people the chance to escape the pressure of a big wedding.

We had a small wedding then a big party because that’s what we wanted. We are lucky enough to have a family who didn’t put any pressure on.

I know a couple of people who want small weddings, but have beeb out under massive pressure by their families to have a big do. One has jumped quickly at the chance of shrinking the day because of covid rules. The other has been bullied into delaying by her mum and his mum.

If I had my way, it would have been myself, husband and the two witnesses. In the end we had a bigger wedding but not massively so. I look at my wedding photos and was happy with what we were able to have at the time. From what I have experienced, the larger and more extravagant the wedding, usually the couples are divorced within about two years. Very sad but happens often.

Yeah it’s much better - for people who want a smaller wedding. People want different things!

We had a "small" wedding of 90 people (that's small where we are) but only cost 5k, I refused to spend anymore on one day.

But i would have happily had it with 30 people but was pressured to go bigger. I love the idea of smaller weddings. Everyone i know is holding off though hoping they'll be able to have the massive do.

Different people have different likes and priorities, small works for some and not for others. Small has always been an option, COVID or not.

We had a very simple affair in the garden with just us and the Archbishop of Canterbury. Far better than having to entertain half the world.

If it encourages small weddings, then I agree that is good. However, for those who had planned a large wedding and have committed time and money, I have some sympathy for them.

We had a small quickie wedding in October 2019 and it was awesome.

Eternally glad we didn’t put it off until spring 2020 as it still might not have happened.

Hopefully, people will start to see what’s important about weddings, but I guess plenty will still want the £25k-two-years-to-plan “experience”.

I like a big wedding, but without all the unnecessary trimmings and vast expense

If more people have small, low key weddings, I wonder how this will impact hen weekends? I would miss the drama on MN if brides stop making ridiculous demands of their guests