To think this isn't my fault?

[oligar]

I've namechanged for obvious reasons

I'm pregnant with my first child. I don't live with his dad yet but he will move in with me nearer the time. Our relationship is good majority of the time. Last night we had an argument as his replies were blunt so I asked him if he was ok and he told me to 'stop assuming stuff'. I said I wasn't and he told me to stop messaging him. I told him he needs to grow up by the time baby is born and he ignored the message. I messaged him today and he told me to stop messaging him and then he said that last night he self harmed and that it was my fault as he hadn't done it for a while

Aibu to think he's being out of order by blaming me?

Christ, this #bekind stuff again used to criticise a woman for not bowing down to the aggressive selfishness of a man.

@BingBongToTheMoon

He isn’t moving in. He’s not interested in this baby. He’s not interested in you (or at least not until he wants sex). You’ll be lucky to ever see him again. You’ll be lucky to get a penny of maintenance once the baby is born. Don’t give baby his surname! Good luck....you’ll be fine doing this on your own.

^^ This.

He doesn't want the baby.
He doesn't want you.

Make your own life with this child and forget about him.

@AtrociousCircumstance

Christ, this #bekind stuff again used to criticise a woman for not bowing down to the aggressive selfishness of a man.

Yeah, mental health conditions are sooooo aggressive and selfish!

If a woman came on here and told us she had self harmed because of her DH, would we call her aggressive and selfish?

Totally disagree with the boundaries comments on here. How ridiculous. We’re talking about a grown man whose girlfriend is having a baby, not a 12 year old who has fell out with a school friend!! He is shutting down conversation, which IMO is controlling behaviour.
No OP it is not your fault. At all. However, I would be seriously considering this relationship. You have a baby on the way. You don’t need a partner like this in your life. Will it be your fault if the baby cries during the night and he’s tired? Will it be your fault if the baby is demanding your attention and he feels you’re neglecting him? Get rid.

With the boundaries issue - would we tell a woman who came on here to say that her OH wouldn't stop texting her and having a text argument, even though she'd asked him to stop, that she was being controlling?

Anyway OP, how are you doing? Are things any better today?

Op, how old are you both. His responses seem incredibly immature.

@Umbivalent she wouldn’t have self harmed because of her husband though would she?! She would have self harmed due to her own mental health. No one should be blamed for another person self harming! Ever!

I don’t think it’s fair to blame anyone if you self harm, isn’t threatening to hurt yourself or kill your self to someone now classed as abuse?