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AIBU?

To take blanket and book to cemetery?

34 replies

LudoBear · 31/03/2021 14:14

I live in a flat with no outdoor spaces. There is a cemetery just behind my flat. Cemetaey used to be half allotments half graves. Allotment side was dug up to make room for more graves but current just grassed over no graves. Is it morally OK to take a small blanket and go sit on the grass to read a book? I'd sit on the allotment part away from the graves.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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GrumpyHoonMain · 31/03/2021 14:17

I would say it’s fine provided you aren’t getting in the way of mourners.

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UhtredRagnarson · 31/03/2021 14:18

Yep it’s fine

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LizBennet · 31/03/2021 14:18

I wouldn’t judge you for it 🤷🏼‍♀️

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CounsellorTroi · 31/03/2021 14:20

Fine.

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Comtesse · 31/03/2021 14:21

It’s ok

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stackemhigh · 31/03/2021 14:22

It will be fine. People may assume you are waiting for someone or wanting to be close to a loved one who passed away.

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lioncitygirl · 31/03/2021 14:22

I would do it. Cemetery’s are such peaceful places.

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DogsSausages · 31/03/2021 14:26

I would happily go but would sit on a bench if there is one

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AwaAnBileYerHeid · 31/03/2021 14:29

I'd sit on a bench, but not on the grass with a blanket.

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MarieIVanArkleStinks · 31/03/2021 14:31

Yes. You'd be quietly reading, not practising the bagpipes. Not at all intrusive or disrespectful to my mind.

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LadyCatStark · 31/03/2021 14:31

You’ve been stuck in a flat for over a year, go and sit wherever you can!

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CloudFormations · 31/03/2021 14:32

Totally fine

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Tocktickclick · 31/03/2021 14:34

I love 'not practising the bagpipes'! 😂
I think it's fine.

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B33Fr33 · 31/03/2021 14:38

That sounds fine. I used to sit on a bench just outside a cemetery at lunch time. I made a friend that way who used to "visit" his dead wife. Once a vicar stopped to check I wasn't terribly sad, I gave him a biscuit. I think a lot of people would leave you be unless they need a bit of a chat.

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Hankunamatata · 31/03/2021 14:38

Bit weird sitting on blanket. On a bench wouldnt be so odd

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Tocktickclick · 31/03/2021 14:42

What's weird about sitting on a blanket?

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FreezerBird · 31/03/2021 14:43

@B33Fr33

That sounds fine. I used to sit on a bench just outside a cemetery at lunch time. I made a friend that way who used to "visit" his dead wife. Once a vicar stopped to check I wasn't terribly sad, I gave him a biscuit. I think a lot of people would leave you be unless they need a bit of a chat.

I don't know why, but giving the vicar a biscuit has really tickled me.

I think you'd be fine OP, but if in doubt go for bench rather than blanket.

I did once see a clergyman have a proper go at someone for sunbathing on a blanket in a churchyard but it was a) an in-use church with people coming and going for prayer etc and b) the guy was blatantly sun-bathing on a rug right by the path from the gate to the church door which seemed disrespectful in a way that just sitting quietly in a cemetery doesn't.
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ShortSilentNight · 31/03/2021 14:44

There is actually someone who practises bagpipes in the cemetery near us! There’s a big stone arch, I think she stands under there to get the reverb.

Also plenty of blanket-sitters, and a general “nature reserve” and friendly but respectful vibe. It’s an urban and Victorian cemetery, no longer in frequent use for burials but there are some more recent graves.

But not all cemeteries are the same. I wouldn’t imagine most people would do it in a more modern or manicured one.

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HeronLanyon · 31/03/2021 14:47

This has kind of made me laugh.
Started thinking no problem.
Then agreed bench would be better than blanket. Blanket felt kind of disrespectful !
Then realised I have done this but in bench and no recent graves. So then I started thinking about how recent/old and did that make a difference.
For me it’s all about and only about the thought of a relative coming to pay respects - what are the chances and how might my blanket/sandwich/book be viewed ? Complex !!

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LaBellina · 31/03/2021 14:49

Absolutely fine IMO.

Friend of mine lives near a very old cemetery and regularly does the same thing.
Why not? As long as you’re being respectful towards the graves/mourners I don’t see the issue. I would actually like it if someone did that at the cemetery where several of my family members are laid to rest, now and then there are stories in the press of graves being damaged, it’s nice to know someone is there and sees what’s going on if there are no other visitors.

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Thewhiskeronadog · 31/03/2021 14:55

I doubt it would be seen as disrespectful. It might be quite a natural thing to do if someone you'd loved and lost was there - spending a bit of time with them, if you will.

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Disfordarkchocolate · 31/03/2021 15:00

It's fine. People walking all over graves, letting their dog wee/poop on them or public drinking annoying me. Not sitting reading. Enjoy.

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Gastontheladybird2 · 31/03/2021 15:01

I'd do that. If there was a tree to sit under even better! There's something peaceful about cemeteries

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ParkheadParadise · 31/03/2021 15:05

Yes, that sounds ok.
I go to the cemetery 2/3 times a week. Over the years I've got to know all the regular visitors.
I find the cemetery so peaceful to visit.

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pickingdaisies · 31/03/2021 15:06

There's a lovely old cemetery in my town, they positively encourage people to make more use of it.

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