Page 2 | Where's the school rape culture thread?

KimchiLaLa · 2021-03-30T09:36:14+00:00

Saw it is the lead item on BBC today but can't seem to find it here, even in education? Am I being blind?

Thecatonthemat · 30/03/2021 12:18

Plus the amount of violent porn that is available that relies on the premise that girls and women do not consent makes it impossible to believe that the boys are not influenced. The general level of abuse that girls put up with must affect them profoundly. Time to reconsider single sex education. Certainly not time to make toilet facilities , changing rooms and so on mixed sex.

LostInTime · 30/03/2021 12:19

[quote Jengnr]@starray

I’m pretty certain we’ve all been living with the ‘other side of the argument’ for years. If there’s one thing we don’t need more of it’s men whining about not being able to assault us with impunity.[/quote]
Exactly this @Jengnr, thank you.

slashlover · 30/03/2021 12:19

deputydog72 is a PBP who was essentially trolling last night. He's been reported.

cannotchange · 30/03/2021 12:20

You are joking right ???

This is endemic - the boy who who made the joke about wanting to rape me is totally unstreetwise and very young for his age,I was actually really shocked that it was this boy that said it, he is what I would call a 'nice boy'

cannotchange · 30/03/2021 12:21

You think I'm making it up ?

LexMitior · 30/03/2021 12:23

@cannotchange

You think I'm making it up ?

No! But is the school doing anything?

Where is it? It sounds dire

CrazyNeighbour · 30/03/2021 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LexMitior · 30/03/2021 12:25

@cannotchange

You are joking right ???

This is endemic - the boy who who made the joke about wanting to rape me is totally unstreetwise and very young for his age,I was actually really shocked that it was this boy that said it, he is what I would call a 'nice boy'

Look, what you have said is incredibly serious and needs some further examination by the authorities.

If a school has problems like these, this is a safeguarding matter. What the hell is happening to this boy elsewhere if he’s like this in school???

DioneTheDiabolist · 30/03/2021 12:28

Fuck me, that Telegraph article.

it’s so depressing, as a mum of two DDs of 13 and 9, that this is where we are in 2021
I agree @Mittens030869 and I don't have daughters, only sons. Teaching our sons not to abuse women about respect and consent does not scare them or make them victims.

cannotchange · 30/03/2021 12:44

Apologies, I misinterpreted your post.

I really don't want to say where the school is, it is a state Catholic school with a lot of pupils who are from well off , comfortable homes.
It trades on the fact that it is Catholic and therefore by default a good school - it's kind of seen as blasphemy almost if you dare question anything or try to act as a whistleblower

I haven't reported this to the school as my DD has generally had a bad time with toxic environment since day 1 and I have already had a lot of involvement with the school.

Mysogny, racism and homophobia are rife

Jokes about George Floyd, jokes about concentration camps etc etc

Mittens030869 · 30/03/2021 12:48

@DioneTheDiabolist

Agreed. It seems that according to some it’s our job not to hurt men’s feelings rather than speak up about sexual assault. It makes me really angry.

What makes it harder for me is that DD1 (12 rather than 13) is adopted and has SEN, and is young for her age emotionally. It’s so awful that I’m now worrying about her safety in high school, a place where she should be safe.

It’s the sort of thing I would have expected from the Sun, not from the Daily Telegraph, although its right wing views are anathema to me. It shows, sadly, that rape culture goes very deep in our society.

AlexaShutUp · 30/03/2021 12:49

Sounds toxic, @cannotchange. I would absolutely be asking the school to deal with the stuff you mention, or else I would be moving my dc to the nearest suitable alternative.

WhatTheFlap · 30/03/2021 13:25

Could someone link to the article please?

YanTanTethera123 · 30/03/2021 13:29

@AlexaShutUp

I feel so incredibly sorry for these poor teenage boys and men who live in fear of being accused of sexual harassment or assault. It must be absolutely terrifying.

I honestly don't know why women and girls can't just keep quiet about all of the harassment/assault/rape etc that they experience, and why they can't just suck it up so that the boys can be boys without having to worry about it.

WTF?

AlexaShutUp · 30/03/2021 13:36

@YanTanTethera123, I assumed it was pretty obvious that my post was ironic. I was essentially summing up what another (now deleted) poster has been pushing on these threads in recent days.

ChangeMustHappen · 30/03/2021 13:43

I'm wondering if girls need to start wearing miniature web cams to record all of this, then there will be no doubt. Although actually there will still be dout won't there since almost certainly the girl, off camera, would have done someting to 'make the boy angry' or 'lead him on' and therefore it's not the boys fault. Schools really need to deal with this but unfortunately most of them still seem to be at the 'dont wear that, it's distracting the male teachers and boys'.

Thecatonthemat · 30/03/2021 15:09

And the Catholic Church is hardly a good example of how not to sexually abuse young people in its care.

LakieLady · 30/03/2021 15:24

@Thecatonthemat

And the Catholic Church is hardly a good example of how not to sexually abuse young people in its care.

You stole the words right out of my head, @Thecatonthemat.

SeasonFinale · 30/03/2021 15:32

@cannotchange

Apologies, I misinterpreted your post.

I really don't want to say where the school is, it is a state Catholic school with a lot of pupils who are from well off , comfortable homes.
It trades on the fact that it is Catholic and therefore by default a good school - it's kind of seen as blasphemy almost if you dare question anything or try to act as a whistleblower

I haven't reported this to the school as my DD has generally had a bad time with toxic environment since day 1 and I have already had a lot of involvement with the school.

Mysogny, racism and homophobia are rife

Jokes about George Floyd, jokes about concentration camps etc etc

Then it needs to be reported or you need to remove your DD from the school.

Why are you letting her be subject to this?

pickingmyselfupsorun · 30/03/2021 18:19

I put my testimonial on this website, it was deeply hidden for years. It wasn't published on the website despite no identifying details, and now I feel I did the right thing not reporting it as I didn't think I'd be believed back then either.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 30/03/2021 18:31

No. I thought it was good to see the other side of the argument.

There isn't another side to this argument. Less than enthusiastic consent is rape. Coercion, legally, is rape.

The state of convictions and the UK legal system means rape is de facto legal in any case. Do people want to make things even worse for victims, in an environment where things couldn't possibly be much worse to start with?

As for the comment upthread, 'all it takes is one false accusation to ruin a life?' how about the ruined lives of the myriad rape victims, most of whom are denied justice? Did you suppose we just pull up our knickers and get on with our lives unscathed? Irrespective of the guilt, self-blame, shaming by other members of society, inability to speak about it and many years spent processing what's actually happened to you, months or years spent in therapy for trauma and PTSD?

It sickens me how often male feelings are prioritised at the expense of the suffering and torment of women. WTF is wrong with this site of late?

LuaDipa · 30/03/2021 18:36

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

No. I thought it was good to see the other side of the argument.

There isn't another side to this argument. Less than enthusiastic consent is rape. Coercion, legally, is rape.

The state of convictions and the UK legal system means rape is de facto legal in any case. Do people want to make things even worse for victims, in an environment where things couldn't possibly be much worse to start with?

As for the comment upthread, 'all it takes is one false accusation to ruin a life?' how about the ruined lives of the myriad rape victims, most of whom are denied justice? Did you suppose we just pull up our knickers and get on with our lives unscathed? Irrespective of the guilt, self-blame, shaming by other members of society, inability to speak about it and many years spent processing what's actually happened to you, months or years spent in therapy for trauma and PTSD?

It sickens me how often male feelings are prioritised at the expense of the suffering and torment of women. WTF is wrong with this site of late?

Excellent post Mariel.

DioneTheDiabolist · 31/03/2021 00:48

I believe you @pickingmyselfupsorun.⚘

georgarina · 31/03/2021 03:46

Ughh.

Yeah, because a rape claim that opens you up to bullying, harassment, and slut shaming is just so much fun to do when nothing's actually happened. It's why there's such a high report rate!

pickingmyselfupsorun · 31/03/2021 06:22

Thank you for anyone who believes these testamonies. Mine was 24 years ago and I know I'll never get a resolution and to be honest nothing will ever heal it.
I had a year of weekly sessions with a consultant psychologist but my defense mechanisms make it impossible to have any effect.
I have strange coping mechanisms and constantly test those around me to see if they will flip.Even without my testimony shared 4 people contacted me this week and said "this was you"