Silly stuped things your younger self thought was true 🤪😳

[Justjackie]

I will go first...first job after leaving school..thought you paid tax then at end of year got it all back! I thought it was some kind of loan to the government 😳 heard mam and dad mention getting '-tax-back' over the years and thought that was what happened!

I used to think that you only had sex to have a baby too

My friend thought that, and also that you had a baby EVERY time you had sex. She heard something on post-watershed TV/radio about people who had sex 'once a week', and was horrified because she thought the people in question would have 52 babies every year!

That I was going to die one of 2 ways:

Spontaneous human combustion
Or
Drowning in quicksand

@Hyacinth88

A relative of a friend of mine found out at age 26 she didn't need to take a tampon out to wee. She had to be told its a differnet hole

This is my favourite so far....

I thought that Sven Goran Eriksson were 2 people - Svengor and Eriksson. A dynamic footballing duo or something 🥴

As a child I thought Jesus moinlighted as an animal trainer, as well as being the son of God etc as I used to hear 'Jesus commanded a tortoise' in church, and not 'Jesus commanded and taught us'.

At Infant School, one of the hymns we sang at Assembly was 'Jesus Bids Us Shine'. I misheard it as 'Jesus Spencer's shine, with a pure clear light...' I though it was an advert for some sort of polish that you could buy at Jesus Spencer's shop: presumably a bit like Marks and Spencers, but more holy.

A friend thought that God's name was Harold, because the Lord's Prayer had the line 'Harold be Thy name'.

I met someone who, at a slightly later age, was very puzzled by the hymn lines 'O my spirit longs and faints/ For the converse of Thy saints.' She came from a mathematical family, and interpreted 'converse' in its mathematical sense (roughly 'the opposite') and couldn't understand how such a sentiment ever got into a hymn!

When I was very small I thought that when it was time for a baby to be born you undid the knot in your belly button and your skin rolled back and you lifted the baby out then re tied the knot and pushed it back in. 🤣

Cats and dogs were the same animal, dogs were boys and cats were girls Say what?! 😵

@FredAndChips

I thought rumble strips on the roads were for blind people to tell them to slow down... I thought this until i was 22

This has killed me

That boys can't wee sitting down.

conversation today with my 25 Yr old dsis

Dsis "have you heard about the people getting the vaccine and the needle coming off in their arms?"
Had to explain to her that the needle retracts back 😅 she was terrified for a good minute

@user1498572889

When I was very small I thought that when it was time for a baby to be born you undid the knot in your belly button and your skin rolled back and you lifted the baby out then re tied the knot and pushed it back in. 🤣

Oh how I wish this was true! You have just made me roar with laughter

I also knew the basic mechanics of dtd.. but not the movement involved (and may or may not have only figured it out at the point I lost my virginity )

@Cheeseandlobster

I still dont know the answer to this and am too embarrassed to ask in real life

If you put loads of spinach in a pan and it wilts to the size of a pea, is that still 1 portion of veg?

🤣

My son was really worried when he learned that one of the first things he would be doing after starting reception was the 'hardest festival'.

He was also really disappointed when he discovered that there was no farmer at the pharmacy. I had thought that he was weirdly keen to go!

I had a confusing conversation with my youngest about what I thought was wrong with a singer called Simon. He was trying to describe him and his song about a cat. It took ages before we worked out that the song 'Call Miaow' was actually 'Call Me Al' and so was 'Poor Simon'!

similar to the house moving one, I never understood why my mum kept complaining that our kitchen was too small, when surely she could just get a new kitchen?! I saw them advertised all the time and thought they just put a new room on!

When I was about 7/8 the adverts for cornflakes said they needed something like 78 days of sunshine to grow the corn to make cornflakes, so when the end of summer came and weather reporters claimed we had had 42 days of sunshine I truly believed there would be no cornflakes in the shops.

Another one here who thought that when you start your period you just continuously bleed for the next 40 years...

Also, couldn’t work out how people knew when to stop having sex...as in, when it’s finished. This confusion came from watching films/tv sex scenes where they’re at it, and then the scene cuts to the morning when they’re asleep in bed. When/how did they stop and decide to go to sleep? 😂

@StillCoughingandLaughing brilliant 😂 going to wind DH up with next next time 🍆 😂 ❤️

Whenever I saw Anon written underneath a piece of text I thought it was the name of the author.

@Leontine

Whenever I saw Anon written underneath a piece of text I thought it was the name of the author.

Me too! I asked my Mum once why s/he had written so many war poems

My DF and I were watching some half grown lambs, he very seriously told me they were called "shams". I wouldn't have mattered but I defended it to the point of tears when a girl at school corrected me.

I thought you could get STIs just from talking about sex... because, you know, that's what "oral" is.

Bearing in mind that I am -er- mature, the six o'clock news on the wireless used to put out missing persons appeals, as in, so and so, last heard of in, say, Manchester etc. I was convinced it was 'lost her dog' Why were all these dogs lost?

I thought left and right were like north and south and didn't change.

ddl1 has reminded me of a couple of hymn based ones which my grandparents told me they thought...

"Thou shalt find a solace there" = "Thou shalt find a shoelace there".

"Fading is the worldling's pleasure" - used to wonder why people would enjoy fading.

I thought my parents (who taught Sunday school) had a serious disagreement with the minister (who taught midweek children's club). Because my parents said Psalms was in the middle of the Bible, and the minister said the Bible was in 2 halves - Old and New Testaments. And I'd checked, the Old Testament went way past Psalms.