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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hearing Neighbour shouting at his children and hitting them

66 replies

Lemonnhoney · 29/03/2021 20:04

Just heard by neighbour start shouting at his children.. started by telling them to close the blinds and get off them? Maybe and then saying ‘I’m gunna come up there and fing smack you if you don’t stop it’. Lots of swearing, lots of aggressive threats.

Then went into the house and could still here.. shouting and then explaining how the child did this to themselves and brought it upon themselves and ‘needs to do what they are f’ing told it doesn’t matter who they are’.. then after say to other child something about how he doesn’t care who did it they will get a wallop too if they ‘carry on’.

He clearly hit them. Although obviously didn’t see.

Not sure how old children are I would probably say late primary or little bit older.

Shit. I just felt so sad and awful listening to that unfold. What are you supposed to do in that situation?

The poor children. Surely even if you are messing about/misbehaving, it’s not worthy of that response.

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 29/03/2021 20:17

You ring 999 and tell them you’ve heard a child being abused and they need help. Ring social services, report to NSPCC. Local school etc if you know they go there. Shout about it as loud as you can to everyone you can.

sausageandrashers · 29/03/2021 20:34

Report it. The verbal abuse on its own is unacceptable, let alone the potential physical abuse. :( poor kids.

altlife · 29/03/2021 20:36

Report it!

Wishitsnows · 29/03/2021 20:38

Bloody report it, ring the police

Merryoldgoat · 29/03/2021 20:40

You call 999 and tell them your neighbour is assaulting their children.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 29/03/2021 20:40

What are you supposed to do? Do people seriously not know?

RoseRedRoseBlue · 29/03/2021 20:40

You call the Police, but I suspect you know that anyway from the frequency with which it is discussed on this forum. If it’s the extra support and push you are looking for, you have it 🙂

tonyharrisonboosh · 29/03/2021 20:41

You need to report this OP. If this is what your neighbour is like when he is aware that you are next door and can hear, what is he like when he knows you are out.

I was smacked regularly as a child and I have never really gotten over it and will never forgive my dad.

Please report it.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 29/03/2021 20:43

Please report it.

LolaSmiles · 29/03/2021 20:45

You report it. There's an out of hours social services number for these situations or you call the police.

It's not acceptable for romantic partners to verbally abuse each other and be violent, so why do people seem to think it's different for children?

MorningNinja · 29/03/2021 20:46

I hope you've called 999 before posting this. Those poor kids.

sabrinathemiddleagewitch · 29/03/2021 20:47

Ring social services. Google search your local authority followed by "social care children's services, worried about a child"

It will tell you what you need to do.

Jjacobb · 29/03/2021 20:48

Agree you ring 999

I did a couple of years ago when a neighbour locked a 3 year child outside on one of the hottest days of the year. Child was crying and asking to come in for the toilet. Dad screamed "piss in the corner you little cunt"
Police responded immediately and the operator asked me to stay on the line until they arrived so she heard the slap the child got when dad saw them playing with water in the huge pool.

I felt great satisfaction when he was hauled off in handcuffs. The family tried intimidating us and doing stupid stuff (bonfires daily as soon as I put washing out) I do it again in a heartbeat

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/03/2021 20:49

What are you supposed to do in that situation?

What do you do if literally anyone verbally assaults and physically assaults literally anyone else? Inform the police. It's just worse because it's children.

For the lurkers... it's not your job to make a judgement call. If you think someone is being abused CALL THE POLICE. FFS.

Robinkitty · 29/03/2021 20:50

Follow the advice of the posters above please get the children help

VestaTilley · 29/03/2021 20:51

You call the police. Immediately.

You should be calling the police AND your local council social services team. Someone needs to protect those children from their Father.

Please, please don’t just stand by and do nothing.

You can call the police and social services anonymously if you prefer. The neighbour doesn’t have to know you rang.

CanAnyoneHearMe3 · 29/03/2021 20:52

999 report and they can do a child welfare check. I've done it and would do it again if I thought it was needed.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 29/03/2021 20:55

@Jjacobb your post.....some people are just the absolute pits.

ImAlrightThanx · 29/03/2021 20:58

This, sadly, sounds like a normal childhood for a lot of people I knew as a child.

I have forgotten the pain of being slapped... but not the horrible sting of the words, or feeling so unwanted.

Poor children.

nanbread · 29/03/2021 20:58

But it's not illegal to shout, and it's sadly not illegal to smack your child (in this country), I would expect the police wouldn't / couldn't do much so I can see why the OP asked this.

And in my experience all that will happen is SS might visit a few times and the dad will get a bit more sly about who overhears what he does.

StormcloakNord · 29/03/2021 21:00

@nanbread of course it's illegal to hit your child ffs.

OP call the police ffs, why wouldn't you?

I can't fathom anyone in their right mind coming on Mumsnet instead of immediately calling the police?! Why are there so many threads like this why would anyone do anything BUT phone the police?!?

lana135 · 29/03/2021 21:03

I called the police for a similar situation before. Heard neighbours fighting eachother infront of the children and was concerned they might have been hurting the children too. The police basically said any suspected child abuse they dont have the power to do anything unless theres proof of it happening and that i would have to call social in regards to my concerns about the children. But call the police, call social. Do something. Its unlikely that someine that yells such nasty things at their kids wont eventually resort to some sort of violence. Children cannot defend themselves and i strongly beleive it is our job as adults to protect all children even if its "none of our business".

1678bfj7 · 29/03/2021 21:04

As it's happening you call 999.

If it's gone quiet you can call local police, explain what has happened and ask for a 'welfare check'. You can also call the NSPCC. They will also investigate, and will speak to school, social services etc. I did this after advice from Mumsnet.

It's helpful if you know the exact address, the school/nursery the children attend, their ages/names/genders, and if you can record it happening (without putting yourself in danger) it probably helps. You don't need all that to report, but IME the more info they had to be sure which children it was, the easier it was for them to act.

ghettihead · 29/03/2021 21:05

@nanbread

But it's not illegal to shout, and it's sadly not illegal to smack your child (in this country), I would expect the police wouldn't / couldn't do much so I can see why the OP asked this.

And in my experience all that will happen is SS might visit a few times and the dad will get a bit more sly about who overhears what he does.

It is illegal to smack children in Scotland
kellyprice · 29/03/2021 21:08

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