Hearing Neighbour shouting at his children and hitting them

[Lemonnhoney]

Just heard by neighbour start shouting at his children.. started by telling them to close the blinds and get off them? Maybe and then saying ‘I’m gunna come up there and fing smack you if you don’t stop it’. Lots of swearing, lots of aggressive threats.

Then went into the house and could still here.. shouting and then explaining how the child did this to themselves and brought it upon themselves and ‘needs to do what they are f’ing told it doesn’t matter who they are’.. then after say to other child something about how he doesn’t care who did it they will get a wallop too if they ‘carry on’.

He clearly hit them. Although obviously didn’t see.

Not sure how old children are I would probably say late primary or little bit older.

Shit. I just felt so sad and awful listening to that unfold. What are you supposed to do in that situation?

The poor children. Surely even if you are messing about/misbehaving, it’s not worthy of that response.

[quote StormcloakNord]@nanbread of course it's illegal to hit your child ffs.

OP call the police ffs, why wouldn't you?

I can't fathom anyone in their right mind coming on Mumsnet instead of immediately calling the police?! Why are there so many threads like this why would anyone do anything BUT phone the police?!?[/quote]
Sadly smacking your child is not illegal in England if this is where we’re talking about

Children - like women - are thrown to the wolves everyday in these sorts of tinderbox domestic situations and I’m not surprised the OP asked what to do

It is a disgrace

I can see why people don’t know what to do, it’s legal to hit your kids (in England) but if you do you can have the police and SS called on you?! So then it’s either legal or it’s not 🤔

nanbread
But it is against the law to abuse your children, and much as I would love smacking to be explicitly covered in this, what the OP has outlined sounds more than a parent lightly disciplining their child (i hated typing that when there's no place for violence towards children).

At least once the children are known to be vulnerable, their school safeguarding leads will know and they're on people's radar.

If it was the partner he was hitting you would call the police. Why are you doubting doing so because its children.

Does it happen frequently OP? I think it would be very reasonable to contact social services and tell them what you heard. You could also keep a diary if it happens frequently and report, report, report.

Police if you don’t mind him knowing it was you.
NSPCC or the kids school if you know which one it is.

Please don’t do nothing. Poor children.

God please report him. What an awful man, those poor children 🙁

I bet if you heard a man shouting at his wife and hitting her you would call the police? Why wouldn’t you do the same for children?

Poor poor kids. Please come back to tell us you've reported them. Sadly this is happening in many households across the country. I hear the way parents screech at their kids in public and wonder what on earth happens behind closed doors. I was an abused child. I wish someone had alerted the police for me x

The facts are:

OP has no proof he hit them

Hitting them is legal if it's "reasonable punishment" in England - he might argue they destroyed the blinds or whatever and were about to hurt themselves or another as a result so smacked them as a reasonable punishment.

I hope I'm wrong but I'd assume there would be no consequences.

I reported my ndn for hitting an adult dc.. Police were straight here... And ss as younger dc were at home also. Ring ffs op..

Contact local authority Children & family team either online or phone you can google for details.
If it is an emergency or violent call police 999

report child abuse to LA England

Report child abuse Scotland

The referral will be screened based on content and the family will be contacted
The family concerned They’ll be informed concerns have been raised and offered support. Depending on the SW recommendation there are different potential outcomes
You’ll not be told about the progress or outcome of the referral due to confidentiality

nanbread
She has grounds to believe a man has been violent to his children and has heard him being verbally abusive to his children. It's not her job to investigate and decide if there's sufficient proof.

www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/physical-abuse/

www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/

I'd say that threatening violence, swearing at a child, and then blaming a child for the adult's actions, plus mlte threats ticks the boxes.

Put it this way, would we accept a man threatening his wife, being verbally abusive, hitting her and then telling her she deserves it?

Yet on here, like other recent threads where an OP is concerned about harm to child, we've got it being minimised.

If this was a husband and wife then you wouldn’t hesitate to call the police.
Why would it be any different for a child?!

I have experienced this in the past OP, although the child was only 2yo at the time and I could very clearly hear the smacks I called NSPCC for advice and they sent police to carry out a welfare check. Apparently because the dad had “no previous convictions” no action was taken

There's no way I'd ignore threats and violence from an adult to another adult, anyone deciding to ignore such things because it's "only" a child needs to take a very hard look at themselves and hopefully avoid being around children or anyone vulnerable for good to avoid your poor decision making affecting anyone.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I know it’s serious and unacceptable which is why I asked.

I guess it’s just seen as ‘normal’ to some people to punish wish smacking. I don’t find it acceptable and would never but I wouldn’t know that police could necessarily do much about it.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee thank you for the link. I will ring local authority line in the morning and report it.

Yes they are always shouting aggressively at the children.. the type of shouting at their children to ‘not to f’ing swear at them’. The irony.

@Jjacobb Oh my god 😢what was the outcome, what happened to that child?

What, you'd ignore it? That's the saddest thing I've read today.

I find it truly mind boggling that it’s not illegal to hit a child in England.

I was that child, it was worse than it sounded. Please report.

@Merryoldgoat

I find it truly mind boggling that it’s not illegal to hit a child in England.

I agree. Hitting an animal is illegal. Hitting an adult is illegal. Hitting somebody else children is illegal. All I learnt from being slapped was that if you are bigger and older than someone else, then you have power to hurt them if they piss you off.

The police can do EVERYTHING about it. Let them attend and make the judgement call, not you.

I'm really struggling to find your logic here OP.

Call police and social services OP.
I have done the same in similar circumstances.
They can judge if there is harm being done. You, I and no one on here can.
Do the right thing, please.

Smacking is always shit parenting. Even if it's legal. Even if you only ever do it when you have to, your children are perfect as a result, you only slap hands, whatever. Shit parenting, communication through pain, force and humiliation, serves no purpose but to indulge the parent's anger and inadequacy. Shit parenting.