DP suggested naming our child the same as his ex?

[doorsy]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and expecting my first child with my current partner, we've been together for about 5 years now and living together.

Recently we were discussing baby names and he said he'd changed his mind about his top pick and suggest Isobel which is his ex's name. This was his last girlfriend before we met and whilst I don't know her or hold anything against her it really didn't sit well with me/ he says it's a beautiful name and has nothing to do with his ex.

I would NEVER choose my ex's names for my child and I'm annoyed he actually thinks this is a good idea? I have explained myself as much as I can and he doesn't seem to get where I'm coming from and continues to say it's just a name

No, I wouldn't like that either. It might be that it's a name he's always loved but surely having an ex with that name would make it an inappropriate option? There are hundreds if thousands of other names.

He may see it as ‘just a name’, but it’s not. There’s an association with that name. Ie. His ex. Whenever you call her name, an image of his ex will come to mind.

It’s also putting that name on a pedestal. Out of all the names in all the world, he favours the one of his ex-girlfriend.

It doesn’t matter what he thinks, she is not going to be called Isobel. I’d actually feel slightly hurt that he would consider this name at all.

Just say no. You both have to agree on a name for your child.

I really don’t get why some people get territorial about names, unless you think your partner has an ulterior motive. It’s a just a name.

It is a beautiful name though!

But you don’t need a reason to veto a name. Everyone has to agree.

Is it def a girl? Choose your exes name for a boy or make it into a girls name. See how he feels.
Twat...

Fuck that. Sorry but that's completely inappropriate.

Lolz. It's a no!

I do sort of understand liking a name for a name's sake regardless of origin. I've always really liked my name and for a fleeting moment wanted to give it to my daughter. But realise I would be judged as a massive egoist!!!!

Wow. Is he always lacking in emotional intelligence or is this some weird one-off blind spot?

Just agree that yes, it's a beautiful name and no, it is Off The List.

Maybe he's suffering from pregnancy brain?

I have absolutely said no to it and I won't even give this name any thought but I am just annoyed this situation has come up and the fact my partner can't see how wrong this is. He still says that is his favourite name and will think of others but this is the one he'd want the most.

There is no chance I am saying yes but why is he being like this? There's so many names out there so why push for our child to be named after his ex!

Have you made him see how wrong he is to suggest this name?

How long was his relationship with his ex, is he still in contact with her?

You cannot argue with crazy. So just nod and smile, nod and smile.

No idea why he's being like that, but you should ignore it. No good will come of trying to fathom it.

If you read many of the baby name threads there will be lots of people who dislike a name purely because of the association, usually because they were bullied by someone with that name as a child. It works in reverse as well, and a normal name can become our favourite due to the association.

Also, if I discovered that a long-ago ex had named his child the same name as me, I would be seriously quite creeped out!

Would it make a difference if someone had had a number of partners, would all the names of them be off the list?

Maybe to him it’s just a name?

@lioncitygirl

Maybe to him it’s just a name?

Yes, but you'd think anyone with a bit of empathy might be able to see, when they had it explained to them in detail by their pregnant partner, why it might not come across as "just a name" and be prepared to say, Do you know what, sweetheart, I hadn't thought of it that way. It's off the list, no worries. Rather than doubling-down with a It's still my favourite...

It would just be... Weird. If it was a brief relationship from years ago, buried in his youth and of no particular note, mayyyybe, but the last serious relationship that preceded you is a no. Imagine if he bumped into her and his child came up in conversation how it would seem to her to find he'd given his daughter the same name as her. 😳

Tell him straight you would always associate it with the ex. Point out if you had a son named after your ex he wouldn't be thrilled either. Likes the name or not it's a no.

My husband suggested a name that was the same as an ex bf of mine and although it’s a lovely name - I just couldn’t!

We recently bought a log cabin for the back garden and I don't like the fact that it's product name on the website is the same as dh's ex. I mean, that's totally irrational, but yours is no. At all.

Yes, but you'd think anyone with a bit of empathy might be able to see, when they had it explained to them in detail by their pregnant partner, why it might not come across as "just a name" and be prepared to say, Do you know what, sweetheart, I hadn't thought of it that way. It's off the list, no worries. Rather than doubling-down with a It's still my favourite...

Exactly! It's just odd behaviour.

One of my kids is named after an ex but it’s a very classic name, he isn’t my most recent ex ,
, and I knew and called him by his last name so I guess thats not the same.
But I can see why he wouldn’t hold the same weight to the m name if it’s just a name he likes.
A fave name of mine was my most recent exes before my DH and I would never have used that. Always annoyed me as it was they one I had in my head before he came along. My friend used it instead on her kid so at least someone got to use it.

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would think it's just a name.
I wanted to call my DD the same name as my DH's ex. I wasn't naming the child after her, I had never met her. DH said no though so she got a different name.