DP suggested naming our child the same as his ex?

[doorsy]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and expecting my first child with my current partner, we've been together for about 5 years now and living together.

Recently we were discussing baby names and he said he'd changed his mind about his top pick and suggest Isobel which is his ex's name. This was his last girlfriend before we met and whilst I don't know her or hold anything against her it really didn't sit well with me/ he says it's a beautiful name and has nothing to do with his ex.

I would NEVER choose my ex's names for my child and I'm annoyed he actually thinks this is a good idea? I have explained myself as much as I can and he doesn't seem to get where I'm coming from and continues to say it's just a name

What an idiot. This is not something that should be asked for nor accepted.

Did you post this before?

@lioncitygirl

Maybe to him it’s just a name?

OP should suggest her ex’s name and let us all know what he DP says about “just a name”

One of my kids is named after an ex

Named after an ex? Or shares a name with an ex? Those are two very different scenarios. Naming a child after an ex is just odd, and I would be very surprised if the other parent would agree to that!

He told you it was his favourite name!? How does he not get that it's not just a name! Even if he doesn't associate it with his ex surely he must understand why you would be uncomfortable with it.

It's a massively popular name now, so maybe say you want something a bit less common?

Go for isodel instead?

It's just a name.and a nice one at that, but if you are the type of person who won't use a name for your baby,if it is the same name as an ex of your Husbands,or the same as a neighbours baby etc, then you won't use this name.. Lots of people won't think the same as you,as it's just a name.

When I had my two children years ago,my late Husband had no input about choosing baby names, not because he didn't care at all, but,we had no scans in those days,and I had already thought of a boys,name, and a girls name, so we stuck with those names, as both names went well with our surname.

Also years ago,it was usually the Mums who chose a name for the baby, as the Dads couldn't be bothered to go through whole lists of baby names !!

It’s really weird. I’d just say something like ‘yeah and if we have a boy next time we should call him -your last ex’s name-‘, see how he feels about that.

NoSquirrels You have hit the nail on the head there.

Unbelievable! I would be willing to understand if he had just forgotten the name was the same as an exes. But the fact that his heavily pregnant partner pointed it out and he said "it's still my favorite name is downright rude!

Is he deliberately trying to cause an argument?

@Druidlookingidiot

Have you made him see how wrong he is to suggest this name?

The OP has clearly said that she's discussed it with him, he can't see what's wrong with it, and she can't make him see sense.

That's why she started the thread.

Sorry not named after and ex. Just wrong turn of phrase typing in a hurry. Just shares the same name. It only occurred to me after had names him. It’s a v classic name. Eg something like Thomas.

It would be a no from me. Keep telling yourself “is it a bell or it is a buzzer.”

Agree his reaction is completely unreasonable. An ex of mine has a name I'd like to use, but can't. The fact he's still insisting is not on! Hopefully he's just caught baby name mania and will come back down to earth. I remember feeling very strongly about particular names for no reason or association when pregnant and then the feeling would go.

That would also extremely piss me off op

I think it could be completely innocent and he genuinely doesn't see an issue because he has no feelings towards her now but you'd think he'd realise it's still weird!

I think it would become the baby's name and would very quickly cease to have any other association. I can understand your point, but unless you think he's pining for his ex then why not take what he says at face value - he just likes the name; he doesn't want to name the baby after his ex.

Very odd. My dc has two siblings with the same name as ex called his dc the same as one of mine. To me it's just weird, there's so many names you can use why use one that could have potential negative conatations for some?

I really like my ex's name but would never suggest it for a son because it's my ex's name.

You are completely reasonable to reject it.

Im with you i cant stand dh ex for various reasons i think hed gone insane if he even suggested it