To not let him eat McDonald's everyday?

[trionyx]

I know I'm bu but I'm posting here for traffic

My grandson is 18 and lives with us. Ever since he was young he's been a fussy eater and when he was at secondary school he never ate breakfast (he'd occasionally have toast) and he wouldn't eat any lunch but he would always eat anything I cooked for dinner. And he'd always eat a Sunday roast without any problems. Lockdown last year he didn't eat much in a day but he would always eat dinner. He went back to college and he was the same as before. Recently he's wanted McDonald's everyday for dinner and he says he 'doesn't like' what I cook even though he previously ate it. Today he said he doesn't want a Sunday roast for dinner and he wants McDonald's. I've said no (he said he doesn't have any money so I'd be paying for it) and he said he won't eat then. I obviously want him to eat and he is underweight but I don't want him to only eat McDonald's! When I asked what he does like he says he doesn't know

I'm at my wits end!

If he's not paying for it, and expects you to buy him one every day, screw that lol - nope, he'd be getting what he's given!
If he wants a daily McDonalds he'd have to pay for it, that'd get expensive quickly!
I'd compromise at once a week for him cos I'm soft

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Why are people saying make him watch supersize me? This is just an 18yo lad being a dick, op never said he was overweight ffs.

Supersize Me is a documentary about a person who ate McDonald's for every meal for 30 days.

There was a study on TV with Dr Mosely I think, where they showed in a short space of time the physical effects on the body of eating junk food daily. Might be worth trying to find that on YouTube and watching it with him. Maybe also try to get him interested in watching cooking shows so that he can do some of the cooking? My 10 year old is super fussy, but if he makes something he'll eat it - I was amazed that he wolfed down red peppers when previously he wouldn't eat them (he calls them 'lentils'!!) . Maybe sit down and agree a weekly meal plan with him and include a weekly McDonalds treat? Also maybe midweek a 'fakeaway' where you make a burger but it's healthier?

At 18 I was going shopping and cooking my own meals.

I'd say, if you don't want what I'm cooking, buy and make it yourself.

@safariboot

YANBU to not spend your own money buying him takeaways. Of course you can't stop him spending his money when he has it.

At 18 he should be cooking for the family regularly.

Why should an 18 year be cooking for the family regularly?

I've never had that memo and my parents didn't either. When did that start?

What a load of shit. Sensory issues? grin
He is just being an 18 yo pushing his luck op. Stick with what you are doing and do not give him money for McDonald's.

The PP may be on the ball and you far off it. Sometimes the textures and variety of foods can be difficult for people. Something like MacDonalds is very uniform and predictable. Don't presume.

Supersize Me is a documentary about a person who ate McDonald's for every meal for 30 days

Fair enough but still, what 18 yo will willingly sit and watch this? He is just being a dick like I said earlier.

He clearly has an eating disorder of some kind and you probably won't be able to address it by just 'sticking to your guns'. If he's skipping meals and genuinely won't eat anything unless it's the thing he's specifying and will go without, then your problem isn't a stubborn 18 year old.

To be honest, it should've been a red flag when he was only really eating one meal a day before this point.

@AlwaysLatte

*What a load of shit. Sensory issues? grin He is just being an 18 yo pushing his luck op. Stick with what you are doing and do not give him money for McDonald's.*

The PP may be on the ball and you far off it. Sometimes the textures and variety of foods can be difficult for people. Something like MacDonalds is very uniform and predictable. Don't presume.

Ive brought up enough teenagers to say its bollocks.

It's very easy to get addicted to things and McDonalds is easy, tasty and full of msg. Nip it in the bud.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

You are being oddly aggressive and unpleasant about the whole scenario. Do you have some kind of insight to the person OP is talking about?

Some teenagers push their luck to get what they want, but very few 18 year old men exist on one meal a day and are underweight just to "be a dick".

OK im out.

Op your grandson clearly has an eating disorder and you need to either make him a fake McDonald's or get him immediate medical help.

Good luck, this world has gone funking mad.

Has he ever had any input from a doctor or dietician about his eating or lack of?

Either way you’re definitely not being unreasonable to refuse to buy him maccys unless you want to.

The lack of compassion on this thread is staggering. This isn't normal at all so clearly something is going on. A GP visit for a dietitian referral is a good idea. I'm autistic and get very anxious around food. NHS dietitian worked with me for a couple of years to help me meal plan.

To this poster:

“What a load of shit. Sensory issues? grin

He is just being an 18 yo pushing his luck op. Stick with what you are doing and do not give him money for McDonald's.”

I hope to god you never have to deal with ND.

Hey OP, I wouldn't buy him a McDonalds' either. However, is he feeling depressed or anxious recently? Sometimes issues like these can come to the surface when we're not feeling very well, and as we all know this year has been hard for everyone. Anxiety/depression can lead to a lack of appetite or restricted eating. Is he sleeping too much or avoiding situations at all?

I wouldn’t buy Mac Donald’s every day, but I also wouldn’t make someone eat a roast dinner if they have gone off it for whatever reason.

He’s 18. He’s allowed to be fussy still, but also if that’s the case needs to also have input of what he does like or wants to eat. Whether that’s he starts cooking himself, or eats a component of the roast with something else.

Yanbu to tell him you’re not buying him a McDonald’s every day, obviously that is not healthy. If you can’t get any suggestions out of him as to what he is willing to eat, pp’s suggestion of making takeaway-style food is not a bad one - could you make some healthy burgers, chips etc from scratch?
It seems unlikely that sensory issues would be surfacing at the age of 18 with foods that he’s been eating this whole time but he could be depressed.

I would suggest you continue making the meals you always have. If he wants Mac Donald’s he pays for it. If he wants something else like pasta- he makes it although probably you would pay for the ingredients but he would need to tell you what he wants. At 18 he should be able to feed himself in this way and understand eating out is not a stable diet.

Just say no, ignore sulking. Why isn't he working?

Only you can really know whether this is an SN issue, signs of a deeper eating disorder, or him just chancing his luck to get what he wants.
I don’t think that giving in and just buying maccy D’s every day is going to help in the long run.
He needs to come up with a selection of foods/meals that can be cooked at home and that are going to be eaten. It doesn’t need to be a long list.
If he really is prepared to go long periods without food then you need to get some medical help. It could be an eating disorder, but none of us can know that!

@Notimeforaname

Bollox . Leave the dinner on a plate or he can make his own money. Seriously,whining at 18 to your grandmother for a McDonald's. The embarrassment.

Absolutely this.

Op? You've gone. Is this any help?

@trionyx I'd say your grandson is using McDonalds like a comfort blanket. He might be feeling insecure or worried about something like a lot of young people are due to the prolonged Covid lockdown.

It's not a natural way for young people or anyone else for that matter to live / exist. To him eating McDonalds everyday could be making him feel secure - ie the one thing that he's certain about...

People go through phases / obsessions sometimes especially during stress as to them it helps them deal with the stress. Observe him for a while but TBH I would let him eat McDonalds for now if it makes him happy. It's not going to do any long term damage and don't worry he WILL get fed up with it in his own time. You said he's underweight so he doesn't have to worry about becoming obese.

As he's 18 he could just simply be asserting himself and trying to make his own decisions so you're not treating him like a kid coming home from school for his tea?

Lay off him as the more you dig your heels in about this the more he'll distance himself and start being difficult about other things. It could be worse - at least it's not drugs or alcohol addiction...

I would not give money to someone who refuses your home cooking, your grandson at this age should not expect you to do so. bit

Lots of people seem to be addicted to McDonalds junky type of food, for some reason. its all pretty grim.It makes me cringe when you see all the TV ads, for McDonalds and such, when you see adults and children,sitting down at a table,, holding a burger with both hands,and, biting into a piled high burger that has all sorts of crap in it.

If I cooked for you grandson, if he can't cook anything himself ! and he left your food, I would put it back in the oven,or fridge, to serve up again the next day,.or he can go hungry for a couple of days.