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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I saw a woman hit her dog

49 replies

DeadHeadedDaisy · 27/03/2021 20:18

I was about 100 yards from her in a busy high street with my kids. I didn't see what happened but heard her dog barking and when I looked over she thumped it on its side. I heard the thump even from the distance.

I didn't know what to do as had my kids with me, so I zoomed in on my phone and took her picture. WIBU to post the picture on a local FB group to ask if anyone recognises her to suggest she finds a trainer to help her look after her dog better.

The dog seemed fine afterwards but I can't stop thinking about it.

OP posts:

MondeoFan · 27/03/2021 20:24

Did the dog Yelp or anything?

I def would. Name and shame. People have shamed for a lot less around here

KarmaStar · 27/03/2021 20:50

Do it.
I'd do a lot lot more to her but best not go there.

ekidmxcl · 27/03/2021 20:52

How did she hit the dog? Like an actual whack or more of a gentle jab in the side? I have a friend who saw the jab on a dog training program.
Note: I do not jab my dog!

littlepattilou · 27/03/2021 20:55

Post it and name and shame!

And call the police (101) and RSPCA.

What a horrible cow. That poor dog.

CloudFormations · 27/03/2021 21:16

Don’t post on Facebook. There are all kinds of crazies on social media and you could genuinely set off a mob. Report it to the police on 101 or the RSPCA.

Original poster

DeadHeadedDaisy · 27/03/2021 21:19

It was a thump on its side. It made a loud, echoey (sp) noise like when you slap your rib cage. It could have been a slap but whatever it was it seemed brutal and shocking. Even more so in a bustling high street.

The FB group has 24,000 members so there is definitely the potential that it will get back to her. It's the only way I can get through to her now, I should have said something in person but I was nervous and wasn't sure what I would achieve. But is it ok to publicly shame someone on FB for what might have been a one off knee jerk reaction? I do not condone that behaviour but could it have serious implications for her personal/ professional life?

I have a dog so I'm finding it upsetting knowing what to do.

OP posts:

Happycat1212 · 27/03/2021 21:22

Good luck reporting it to the police, my sister reported a man attacking his dog with a baseball bat actually as it was happening and the police weren’t interested.

Laggartha · 27/03/2021 21:23

I’m an admin for a large local group and would delete a post like this. It’s a police matter.

Mummy1608 · 27/03/2021 21:27

I think ywbvu to publicly shame her on a Facebook group. Trial by public mob? Why would you be so vindictive? You wouldn't be doing the dog any good but you'd be doing the neighbour great reputational harm, tantamount to libel. Report it to the relevant authorities eg rspca. They can take actual helpful action like removing her dog from her, or educating her about better techniques for discipline/training.

Mummy1608 · 27/03/2021 21:29

I should have said something in person but I was nervous and wasn't sure what I would achieve.
So instead you are choosing to make all her neighbours hate her? Because of a slap which may (hopefully) have been a one off? Yabu

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/03/2021 21:30

You wouldn't be shaming her. You would be setting a mob at her.

Ponoka7 · 27/03/2021 21:32

"But is it ok to publicly shame someone on FB for what might have been a one off knee jerk reaction"

No it isn't. If the dog was losing control, then it could have been used to get the dog to focus on her. It looks like it worked. Did the dog yelp?

HikeForward · 27/03/2021 21:32

Don’t put it on FB! You’ve no idea what the dog did or why she reacted like that. Send the photo to the RSPCA if you’re worried about it’s welfare.

For all you know the dog was about to maul a cat or run into traffic or had just bitten her. She might have reacted without thinking.

Would you report a horse rider for using their whip?

PandaFluff · 27/03/2021 21:35

Police or RSPCA. If you post it on Facebook someone might attack her and two wrongs dont make a right.

TokyoSushi · 27/03/2021 21:37

Don't put it on a local FB page, you'll only kick off a big drama. I'd definitely report to the police/RSPCA etc though. Poor dog

Flowerlane · 27/03/2021 21:38

No don’t put the woman’s picture on Facebook I do not agree with people putting others pictures on Facebook when they have done something like what you have described it can lead to witch hunts. two wrongs don’t make a right.

You should have said something at the time. It’s too late now, reporting to the police will do no good as they won’t be interested. These situations have to be dealt with at the time.

PrintempsAhoy · 27/03/2021 21:39

Good God, are you going to give her a trial by social media?!

How nasty

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/03/2021 21:40

I would call the rspca rather than post on fb

PurBal · 27/03/2021 21:42

Please don't name and shame. She shouldn't have done it, obviously. But I know a few people who avoid social media due to abusive former partners and estranged parents, you don't know this person's circumstances. I couldn't have that on my conscious personally.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 27/03/2021 21:44

@Mummy1608

I should have said something in person but I was nervous and wasn't sure what I would achieve. So instead you are choosing to make all her neighbours hate her? Because of a slap which may (hopefully) have been a one off? Yabu

Oh, well if the husband hits you, it's fine if it's just the once so just move on.

shiningstar2 · 27/03/2021 21:46

I am a dog owner and a dog lover but I don't think you should be naming and shaming on Facebook. You don't know what was going on in her life and you might be making an isolated incident look much worse than it was. In no way do I condone anyone hitting a dog, just as I don't condone anyone smacking a child but there are parents out there who have given an isolated on off smack in the heat of the moment who are not bad parents so I'm prepared to think the same about a dog owner. If you think it was more serious than this you should report the incident to the appropriate authorities.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/03/2021 21:47

Oh, well if the husband hits you, it's fine if it's just the once so just move on.

You can't compare that and i say that as a pet lover and former dog owner.

I would very much question how much detail person heard and actually saw on close to 100m distance.
I have a feeling it's already on that Facebook group anyway.

shiningstar2 · 27/03/2021 21:47

one off ....not on off

Moondust001 · 27/03/2021 21:50

Dogs shouldn't be hit - but outing her is no better, and besides which, as you say, you didn't see what happened. If a dog was hit as hard as you are suggesting, I would have thought it would have reacted, a dog who has been hit hard enough for the blow to be heard in a busy environment and from a distance generally doesn't "look fine" afterwards. They might look cowed or flinching or cowering or angry - but generally "fine" isn't a word you'd use. Are you even certain that what you think you saw was actually what you saw - the sound wasn't necessarily her hitting the dog if the area was busy, and as someone else suggested, it may not be something I agree with doing, but a tap to focus a dog is a training method some people use.

leli · 27/03/2021 21:53

If you think you have a relevant FB group I would definitely post and expose this cruel woman. The police and RSPCA will/can do nothing. They can't track her down from your mobile phone picture. But social media is powerful.

Cruelty to animals is not acceptable in my book. Good for you for caring.

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