To think I’m not just going to lose all this weight

[BigWolfLittleWolf]

I’m feeling really quite fed up today.

I’m enormous, I have minimum 6 stone to lose.

I have a Fitbit and in the school week I’m doing relatively well - im hitting 15 to 20,000 steps most days, sometimes I’m squeezing in one or two small 5 minute workouts or some very small runs aswell.

Come the weekend I’m stuck at home until DH gets back from work.
I could go out with the children but frankly, I struggle to control my youngest by myself; he is a real handful.
Working out at home with the kids home is hard because I have to keep an eye out for youngest and make sure he isn’t doing anything dangerous or naughty.

When not outside exercising I seem to eat out of boredom, over the weekend, or anytime I’m not outside and physically unable to eat I just eat and eat and eat and eat....
It’s the holidays now and I know I’m going to really struggle not to keep picking at food.

Unsurprisingly I haven’t lost any weight!
I’m feeling just awful frankly, my pelvic floor is getting weaker too, no doubt worsened by my ever increasing weight.

How on earth do I reign myself in?!
I’m not even hungry a lot of the time I’m packing the calories in!

@BigWolfLittleWolf losing weight is mainly about your calorie consumption, exercise is fantastic, it helps your heart, builds muscle, makes you feel more energised but the only way to really shift the weight is to reduce how many calories you eat.

I have been obese as long as I can remember, first went to WW when I was 11 and was obese then. My weight matched my age till is was 21stone. Over the years I've lost little bits at a time before relapsing. This last year with Covid and Lockdown I've been determined to get rid of it once and for all.

I use MyFitnessPal to track all my food and I try to stick to the limit it gives based on my weight and height. I've set it to sedentary activity level and with a goal of 1lb loss per week.

I've lost 58lb (4stone 2lb) since August and for the first time I'm overweight rather than obese, and only 11lb till I'm healthy weight.

It is doable, it takes a good long while, it's a marathon not a sprint and there will be days you go way over your calorie limit, but just keep logging and aim for less the next day.

I like eating and I like feeling full so I switch high calorie carbs like pasta, bread and potatoes for heaps and heaps of brocolli, sugar snap peas, green beans, mushrooms... stuff that's really low calorie and filling. I roast, steam or dry fry them, add seasoning, a teaspoon of butter, garlic, whatever you like to make them full of flavour.

I have options hot chocolate and slim fast chocolate bars in the house so if I really crave chocolate I have choices that are under 100 calories.

I make sure there are cheese strings, babybel, beef jerky, cottage cheese, Greek yoghurt etc available so I have savoury snacks around that aren't going to take me over my limit and that are filling enough to keep me going to the next meal.

I’ve recently started The Fast 800 eating plan and am losing weight without much exercise, aside from walking to/from school twice a day (total about 1.5 hours). I’m battling plantar fasciitis at the moment so just walking is agonising some days, but usually I’d be at the gym or swimming.

I’ve struggled with my weight all my adult/teenage life and so find that the most important part to losing weight is to get your mindset right first. If your mind is in the right place then you are more able to have more of an iron will against over-eating or eating the wrong foods. I don’t know how I get myself in this mindset; I guess one day I just decide “enough is enough” and I need to prioritise myself.

With being stuck at home, do you have a garden to get the DC out into to burn off some energy? If so perhaps you could join in kicking a ball around, hoola hoops, basketball hoop, trampoline or a mini one, etc. Maybe some YouTube exercise videos that the DC might like such as Cosmic Kids Yoga, Joe Wicks etc that you could join in with. An exercise bike in the lounge (not ideal I know!) so you could cycle while they watch tv.

What have you tried so far OP? To stop eating more than you need i mean.

Over the years various things have worked for me.
My 2 basic ones are:

• being ruthless about writing down everything you put in your mouth for a week at a time. If you can manage one 'good' day it makes you want to keep the whole week looking good.

• finding a food you like which is low calorie and just keep tons of it in the house. No matter how strange it might be/look. At the moment mine's frozen grapes.

Thisisthepoint - If your mind is in the right place then you are more able to have more of an iron will against over-eating or eating the wrong foods. I don’t know how I get myself in this mindset; I guess one day I just decide “enough is enough” and I need to prioritise myself.

This though is key.

I have to wait till the time is right too. It sometimes means waiting for 'rock bottom' sadly.

@Laiste quark is my food at the moment. Discovered it a couple of weeks ago and bloody lovely, nestle do some in the yoghurt aisle and the white chocolate one tastes like cheesecake for 90 calories a pot and more protein/less salt than Greek yoghurt.

I'm 3 stone down since October, with 4 more to go. I'm doing slimming world.

The exercise is great, but it has to be about food.

If you want to pick all day, you need healthy picking foods like celery, carrot sticks, hard boiled eggs and cooked ham I'm afraid.

Try making really good meals so you feel fuller and less deprived, so less likely to snack. More protein.

Things like a cooked breakfast with lean sausage, egg, tomatoes, baked beans. (No potato/hash brown/toast).
Jacket potato with cottage cheese/baked beans and salad for lunch.

When do you usually snack? I do intermittent fasting because once I pop one thing in my mouth I can't stop. If I can delay that first mouthful then I stand a chance. I try to drink more too, so if I am hungry I will have a drink first.

My dc enjoy doing Just Dance videos- just the you tube recordings not the actual game. Doing things like that with the dc might mean you can squeeze some extra exercise in.

It can be really hard yes.

You're doing fantastically well with the amount of steps you're managing.

The only thing is to not keep unhealthy food in the house for any members of family so that you can only snack on healthy food or you have to make a concerted effort to cook sweet treats like cookies or brownies and not just be able to open a packet for a quick fix.

My DC are teens now so I buy them a very small amount of weekly snacks to keep in their room which they have to manage themselves throughout the week and that way the snacks are no where in sight for me.

I've got 3 stone to lose.
Like you fitting in time to do anything was hard.
I subscribed to Les mills on demand and started getting up an hour earlier to do a work out.
I also started ordering Gousto and hello fresh and choosing the healthier options. This forces my portion sizes to normal amounts as I was over eating by giving myself man sized portions

After 3 weeks of breaking myself in gently I've lost 7 inches.

I realised I was making excuses with my time and so I added area time to my day to do it

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo ooh sounds good :)

Those cheapy snack bars for 90 cals each are good. If you mooch round B&Ms or Home Bargains they have loads of varieties of boxes of 6 or so for less than £1.

I know they're utter rubbish nutritionally but if it's that or crash and burn and you feel yourself slipping because you can't face another carrot stick then they're a god send.

I lost 3.5 stone between August and Xmas, and sort of fell off the wagon and realised I've put onn5lbs the last month. Still got a stone (and 5lbs, now) to lose. I'm finding really hard to get the will power back. I can't exercise due to ill health. And I'm wfh, so literally sat down all day every day. Probably do less than 1000 steps a day.

When I was properly dieting I would ask myself - what do I want more? To eat this or not be fat? That worked for a while. I did Slimming world (bought the member pack on ebay, didn't join a group) because I tried calorie counting and was ravenous all the time. At least with SW I could eat something, even if it was carrot sticks or fruit. And the syns thing meant I didn't feel I'd failed if I had a chocolate biscuit. As I found once I thought I'd failed I'd just think fuck it and eat the whole packet of biscuits.

To stop wanting to eat absolute rubbish when nothing else would do then I would have a coffee and if that didn't work then I'd clean my teeth.

What have you tried so far OP? To stop eating more than you need i mean
I have a tracking app but I tend to forget to log things, ditto with writing food down.

I have tried collecting pictures of what I want to look like and focussing on that, asking myself if the particular food I’m craving will help me reach that goal.

I’ve tried setting myself calorie limits.

I have fruit and veg in the house.

In short, my willpower is really low and I seem to have some bizarre, unconscious compulsion to keep stuffing my face with food unless actively prevented from doing so eg being outside, in the bath etc.

Team RH is great because it teaches you so much about nutrition and you get a sustainable amount of calories so you don’t spectacularly fall off the wagon after 3 weeks. Have a look on Facebook for them

Don't think of it as 'I have six stone to lose' because that's overwhelming. Remember that once you start, you will never have 'six stone' to lose again - you'll have 5.5, 5, 4, 3 etc.

Focus on how much better you'll feel if you lose just one stone - your clothes will be looser and you'll feel much lighter.

Then think of what it would be like to lose 2 stone - you'll drop a dress size, people will start to notice.

Then 3 stone - you're halfway there!

A stone at a time is the way.

Well done on achieving your exercise goals!

• Cleaning my teeth if i feel the urge to pick helps it go away sometimes.

• Forcing myself to drink a glass of water and wait exactly 15 mins helps sometimes too.

• Give yourself permission to have a blow out meal once a week and look forward to it. Sat night for eg. Then guilt free back on the wagon next day.

• even sticking to your plan for 80% of the time means it will still work.

• remember that every single thing you decide NOT to eat is a few calories less that you have to work off. Pat yourself on the back every.single.time you make a good decision.

As others have said it really is all about the food. Exercise is great for your mental health but it’s possibly making you hungrier unless you’ve got a really well structured high protein eating plan to keep you full. I’ve lost two stone in the last year by cutting out flour and white sugar. Drink alcohol weekly and have chocolate every day (either super dark or with malitol sweetener).

Once I start eating white carbs I can’t stop. So for me it is easier to go cold turkey and not even have the tiniest bit.

I eat three big meals a day and am never hungry.

[quote HalfShrunkMoreToGo]@BigWolfLittleWolf losing weight is mainly about your calorie consumption, exercise is fantastic, it helps your heart, builds muscle, makes you feel more energised but the only way to really shift the weight is to reduce how many calories you eat.

I have been obese as long as I can remember, first went to WW when I was 11 and was obese then. My weight matched my age till is was 21stone. Over the years I've lost little bits at a time before relapsing. This last year with Covid and Lockdown I've been determined to get rid of it once and for all.

I use MyFitnessPal to track all my food and I try to stick to the limit it gives based on my weight and height. I've set it to sedentary activity level and with a goal of 1lb loss per week.

I've lost 58lb (4stone 2lb) since August and for the first time I'm overweight rather than obese, and only 11lb till I'm healthy weight.

It is doable, it takes a good long while, it's a marathon not a sprint and there will be days you go way over your calorie limit, but just keep logging and aim for less the next day.

I like eating and I like feeling full so I switch high calorie carbs like pasta, bread and potatoes for heaps and heaps of brocolli, sugar snap peas, green beans, mushrooms... stuff that's really low calorie and filling. I roast, steam or dry fry them, add seasoning, a teaspoon of butter, garlic, whatever you like to make them full of flavour.

I have options hot chocolate and slim fast chocolate bars in the house so if I really crave chocolate I have choices that are under 100 calories.

I make sure there are cheese strings, babybel, beef jerky, cottage cheese, Greek yoghurt etc available so I have savoury snacks around that aren't going to take me over my limit and that are filling enough to keep me going to the next meal.

[/quote]
I think @HalfShrunkMoreToGo has excellent advice here. To add to this I’d say expand your protein - lots of protein keeps you full. If you want a structured programme see if you GP can refer to you second nature, it’s pretty solid. If you want some ideas for a reset get loose weight feel great by Ranjan Chatterjee - not a diet book but a solid guide.

The change really is in the small things - you are going great guns with excercise, so give yourself time to finesse your own food programme and get to it -

@BigWolfLittleWolf - I have tried collecting pictures of what I want to look like and focussing on that, asking myself if the particular food I’m craving will help me reach that goal.

And how did this go? It's a really old cliche the sticking a picture of yourself on the fridge. A good one or a bad one - which ever motivates you most.

It's what ever works for you OP. And that can change weekly. Daily even. It is all in the mind. Mind over matter.

Personally i find slimfast works for me because it means i don't need to go near the fridge at all for food for me during the day. For evening nibble cravings i have to do what WeatherwaxLives does and think ''do i want this or do i want to be slimmer?'''. Sometimes it works sometimes not. That's when the frozen grapes come out.

@BigWolfLittleWolf is there anything you really enjoy eating that's healthy/low cal?

If you have enough foods to make up a diet then you could effectively still 'stuff your face' while losing weight. For example.

Breakfast (around 200 cals)

• bacon (2 slices) mushrooms, tomatoes and fried egg
• veg omelette - onions, peppers, mushrooms and 2 medium eggs
• Spicy scrambled eggs - peppers, chilli, spring onions and 2 medium eggs
• porridge

Lunch around 200 cals

• big bowl of chunky homemade veg soup
• Big bowl of steamed veg with butter, salt, pepper and sliced chicken
• vegetable gyoza with stir fried bamboo shoots, sugar snap peas, peppers and whatever seasoning you prefer

Dinner around 500 cals

• chicken breast stuffed with cheese and bbq sauce with corn on the cob and green beans
• Toad in the hole with 2 sausages and a veg side
• jacket potato with cottage cheese and salad

That's 900 calories, assuming you're around 17stone based on what you want to lose, you'll have a target of about 1700 a day so you have 800 to play with to allow for an extra meal and/or snacks

I cope by having a blow out day on a Saturday. No alcohol or "unhealthy food" all week. Today I've had hot cross bun with butter, soup, chocolate fountain (dipped strawberries as it's my daughter's birthday) and tonight I'm having crisps, dips and baked camembert with French stick. And a beer . So many carbs!!

But I've learnt that if I do this only once a week it doesn't seem to make any/much difference to my weight loss. Plus I have urge to eat during the week as I know I have it on Saturday.

It works physiologically.

Good luck. Try not to feel overwhelmed.

And how did this go? It's a really old cliche the sticking a picture of yourself on the fridge. A good one or a bad one - which ever motivates you most
Not great really.
I just find myself ignoring myself and going for the food anyway and then feeling really annoyed with myself afterwards!

I am going to try and get an exercise bike as suggested upthread, that I think could be brilliant.

I feel that I need to be kept busy basically.
Kept doing something that is incompatible with eating.
Finding myself in a position where I can just go and grab a chocolate bar, crisps etc usually means I will!
I do have frozen mango and other fruits in the freezer, I must try and remember to go to them first.

I have three flavours of the options hot chocolate mentioned above in the cupboard too but I only ever make it topped with a great deal of cream....

I can relate to the struggle of being around the house and just mindless eating. Once I start eating I can’t stop myself really, so I do (kinda) intermittent fasting and don’t eat until lunch at 12 or 1. Then I make sure I eat decent chunks of protein at each meal/snack and force myself to leave at least a 2 hour gap between each time I eat (as I said, I really struggle to stop...)
My worst time is just before bed when I seem to hover around the kitchen procrastinating by constant snacking. Recently I’ve given 800 cals a go (once or twice a week), and on those days I go up to bed with a cup of tea and a half a protein bar (100 cal) cut really really small. I needed to physically remove myself from the food source, and it did work. I felt annoyed/deprived but not hungry. It’s a bad habit which I need to break. I’ve found the occasional 800 day actually fine, and I’m not starving exactly, just annoyed. And I don’t get much work done...

Good luck with it OP. See what works for you to put distance between you and food / meals when you’re just mindless eating and not hungry. It’s very very hard I know.

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo that's amazing. Well done 👍

I used to make a hot chocolate by heating up a whole mug of whole fat milk and adding the choc powder while i was dieting once - but i'd call it lunch ...

As a pp said, be careful you're not upping your hunger levels with exercise. Exercise is good an' all, but while you're mind is in this delicate state extra hunger is not what you need.

I do get what you're saying about keeping busy stops you eating. Is there anything else you could do which would keep your mind occupied but not make your body demand food?

is there anything you really enjoy eating that's healthy/low cal?
Hmm, I like fruit.
Particularly tropical fruit like mango, pineapple etc.
Nuts which I suppose technically are classed as ‘healthy’ but very high calorie!
I like brocolli, sweetcorn, mushrooms.
Most cooked veg really.
I have very dark (90% cocoa) chocolate which I imagine is in the nuts category.
Sun dried tomatoes (I have the air dried/oil free ones)
Ice lollies; they are basically juice right?