To think I’m not just going to lose all this weight

[BigWolfLittleWolf]

I’m feeling really quite fed up today.

I’m enormous, I have minimum 6 stone to lose.

I have a Fitbit and in the school week I’m doing relatively well - im hitting 15 to 20,000 steps most days, sometimes I’m squeezing in one or two small 5 minute workouts or some very small runs aswell.

Come the weekend I’m stuck at home until DH gets back from work.
I could go out with the children but frankly, I struggle to control my youngest by myself; he is a real handful.
Working out at home with the kids home is hard because I have to keep an eye out for youngest and make sure he isn’t doing anything dangerous or naughty.

When not outside exercising I seem to eat out of boredom, over the weekend, or anytime I’m not outside and physically unable to eat I just eat and eat and eat and eat....
It’s the holidays now and I know I’m going to really struggle not to keep picking at food.

Unsurprisingly I haven’t lost any weight!
I’m feeling just awful frankly, my pelvic floor is getting weaker too, no doubt worsened by my ever increasing weight.

How on earth do I reign myself in?!
I’m not even hungry a lot of the time I’m packing the calories in!

One thing which worked for me at the beginning was that I didn't set a target, I just knew I wanted the numbers on the scales to go down a bit. Then when they did, I was motivated to keep going. That didn't mean living a miserable deprived life but it did make me think more about what to eat and when. Also that hunger is an OK feeling to feel for a while before you actually eat.

I must admit though, if I could get away with it I would snack all day every day!

With kindness, you sound defeated before you've started. You truly have to get your mind set right to succeed.

I started dieting 25th Jan, 2020. I fell off the wagon in October and didn't restart until January. In this time, I have managed to lose 4st5lbs of the 6st5lbs I am aiming to lose.

I eat better, I feel better and I look better. I've gone from a size 18/20 to a 12. I have also started exercising. This morning I actually ran 3km! I had never been running (or in a gym or anything) before.

The truth is, even if we crack it and manage to get to a healthy weight, it's likely we'll need to have made new habits to stop ourselves gaining it all back.

You can do it! Planning and preparation are key. Good luck OP

You must keep a tonne of junk food in the house if there is enough for three children as well as constant grazing for yourself. Perhaps start by significantly cutting down on the junk food you keep in the house? For instance, do you really need squirty cream in the house?

We have a lot of junk in our house including 2 bottles of squirty cream!

Thanks @HalfShrunkMoreToGo will check it out & adjust.

I found by dedicating a start time in Jan & thinking just do 6 weeks like lockdown prison & stick to 10k steps & healthy calorie controlled with the odd unhealthy. I was going to be miserable in 6 weeks if I hadn't lost weight & it's a good time to start as fun is already restricted. I saw results pretty quickly & haven't found it too bad. So much of my eating was (terrible) habits & mostly easily changed.

Saxenda is your friend. Go look at some of the threads on here. I started on it 18 days ago and have lost 8kg. I wish I'd known about it years ago.
Wishing you all the best.

You sound very down about your eating and weight and if you’re trying to lose a lot of weight your head needs to be completely right before starting. I’m not criticizing but it doesn’t seem like you’re there yet.

The walking is great but for significant weight loss it’s all about the food. I’d recommend read Why We Eat (Too Much) - it’s a really good read and has lots of helpful information and advice.

Full disclosure: I had weight loss surgery last year. I’m very pleased I had it done and am very happy to talk about how it’s benefited me but it has enabled me to put into practice a way of eating on which I’m losing weight. I just couldn’t do it before so I totally get how hard it can be.

stuck at home until DH gets home -- what time does he get home?

How old is your youngest?

You could get out on weekends... I think this is your way out. You need more structure to your days to break the grazing habit.

Does your DH have days off -- can you get out on your own for an hour or 2 on the days he has off?

Compromise: just get out one of the house every other day. it's a start and would be huge improvement on situation now.

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo that's an amazing achievement.. very inspiring..

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo - I've adjusted my mfp settings - had my activity level at sedentary & changed to lightly active which had given me an extra 190 calories per day 🥳. I've left it at 2lb a week loss for now & may lower that to 1lb in another stone or so. Thank you!

I've recently started on Slimpod, which basically rewires the way you think about food and banishes the dieting mentality. I can't really articulate how good it is, because I'm still wrapping my head around how it works, but I basically no longer think about food all day long and I'm losing inches and I feel happier and calmer about what I eat and how I look than I've done in years. So maybe it might help you, OP?

Stop exercises for now it is counter productive I'm slim and eat mountains after exercise.
I rarely have any appetite other times.
Concentrate on the food - speaking from my Dsis experience she lost 5 stone the first 4 from SW diet mainly potatoes veg meat for dinner - she had a huge breakfast all grilled tomato, mushroom, bacon, beans, poached eggs, homemade hash browns. She dumped snacks and had fruit for tea.
Good luck.

Check out Dan Wheeler on tiktok! He will change your life!

No woman should ever, ever eat less than 1600 calories a day. You are all starving your bodies of what they need.

Could you get a lockable cabinet with a key code. Just let the kids and DH know the combination?

I’ve had good success with WW. But also know a lot of people who’ve had good results with Slimming World. But I think that the 2 are very different and it’s about working out which suits your body type and eating preferences.
I’m currently on WW and I love the App. It just helps you make some better choices. I was in the supermarket the other day and picked up some yoghurts that were meant to be ‘low fat’. When I scanned them OM the app it told me they were 6 points each. I picked up some others and they were 2!
Good luck op. You’ll get there.

I agree about stop keeping 'treats' for the kids, why do you think so many of us, and yes I do mean ME end up fat! My MIL was a feeder, 'oh a little treat won't hurt' was often heard when we went to visit and she foisted cake on me, now my husband has turned into her, and feeds me because he loves me - it's what he learned from her behaviour. I know that alcohol, cake, chocolate and all the other so called 'treats' are bad for me, but having been raised to have them, I find it really hard to deny myself. So the point I'm trying to make is, if you give your kids 'treats' on a daily basis or even several times a week, you are bringing them up to think that 'treats' means food that tastes good but is really BAD for them. So OP stop with the cream, the chocolate bars and crisps that you get in for the kids, and all the other things you know make you fat, and if you want to give your kids 'treats' educate them into thinking of a nice piece of fruit as a 'treat', not a bag of crisps or a Mars Bar or whatever, you'll be doing them a MASSIVE favour in the long run, and if you don't control what they eat now, like you and me, they will struggle their whole lives!

I used to be an obese mindless eater too. The thing that scared me into the right mindset to finally lose weight was finding my old blood sugar monitor from when I had gestational diabetes and giving it a go. My blood sugar was right on the borderline of being diabetic and I knew I only had a small window in which to turn it round before I succumbed to lifestyle induced type 2. I did lots of research and one book that really helped was The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung. I now eat lowish carb as a permanent way of eating, only eat in an eight hour window and have lost around 3 stone since last August. I just don't crave any junk food now and I don't snack at all really.

If you are 6 stone overweight you likely have insulin resistance which in time could turn into something more serious. I have to agree with pp though you won't lose weight until something mentally clicks and for me it was health related rather than vanity. I'd suggest getting a HbA1c test at your GP to see what is happening with your blood sugar for a start. Best of luck to you OP, losing weight was one of the best things I have ever done for myself and once I got going it really wasn't that hard.

How are you doing, @BigWolfLittleWolf ?

What Hazel just said about mindless eating occurred to me yesterday, too. I absentmindedly ate my evening's treat allocation mid afternoon, while tidying the kitchen. I didn't enjoy them or even notice them properly. Disappointing! Mindless eating as opposed to mindful eating.

Try TeamRH. 10/15k steps a day, 3 weight work outs a week (raises your calorie burn) and a generous calorie allowance. Their common sense approach of not starving yourself but being in a calorific deficit works well for me. There are protein and fibre goals (which I've never met) but I lost 2.5 stone last year and was in the best shape I've ever been.